Snowshoeing Suckiness

March 8, 2017March 8, 2017Leave a comment

I feel like this time of year is just…sucky.

There’s taxes.

The weather.

It’s just the WORST.

And speaking of taxes, I did mine this year all by myself using free Turbo Tax and it was actually really easy. I am pretty sure I messed up a couple times, but like is the IRS really gonna audit little ol’ me? (KNOCK ON WOOD)

But here is another sucky thing…Snowshoeing (and Cross Country ~~Skiing~~ Skiers)

A couple weekends ago, I tried my hand (or should I say feet haha) at snow shoeing with my best buds Kelly and Olga. We were in Bend for a company ski trip and the three of us decided to rent snowshoes and give ‘er a whirl.

Turns out the route we were on was also used for cross country skiers and there also happened to be a cross country race that day.

To anyone who enjoys either of these sports, riddle me this: HOW?

I don’t understand what is remotely “fun” about either of these “sports”. Tromping around in the snow wearing heavy, water-proof snow gear while sweating heavily and fogging up your sunglasses is NOT my idea of fun. If I am going to exercise, I will go for a run or go to the gym or evvven hike if pressured. But to purposely go out in big ol’ ski clothes and attempt even the smallest incline, just heyll nah.

And don’t get me started on cross-country skiers.

“It’d be awesome if you girls could stay to the right and off of the tracks!”, “Can you get off of our tracks?!”, “ON YOUR LEFT! ON YOUR LEEEEEEEFT!”

I could have killed. them. all.

the only reason there are smiles in this picture was because we knew burgers were in our future

So, like yeah. I guess it was a pretty day.

this is my “tolerating it” face. notice kelly all adorbs in the background while I’m in one of David’s 11 year old hangy Old Navy thermals…

So, in conclusion let me be clear about a couple of things. I do not like snowshoeing. And I reallllly don’t like cross-country skiers.

Testing Charcoal Toothpaste

March 2, 2017March 1, 20173 Comments

Hi bunnies!

So apropos right? Easter being around the corner.

About a month ago, David turns to me while we’re watching Shameless and admits, “I bought some black charcoal toothpaste from Asia today”. Cool buddy ;).

But really, I got kinda excited because white teeth just happen to be something I pride myself on. And come on, charcoal ANYTHING is just blowing up right now. People are smearing it on their faces, brushing their teeth with it. Probably making charcoal + jelly sandwiches.

So when it arrived in the mail a few weeks later, I was really excited to get brushin’.

Looove the packaging too!

So we took before and after photos because I have a beauty blog and also because we genuinely wanted to see results after one use.

So here’s our befores:

Annnnd the afters:

So yeah. Not WORLD’S whiter. But I see a little difference! We are both going to continue using it and I’ll do updates in maybe a month so we can BLIND you. Haha.

Have a good one kiddies.

Valentines Day Home Decor

February 14, 2017February 13, 20175 Comments

I made you guys a card!

Dontcha just ♥ it!?

Unlike many other ~~practical~~ women, I LOVE Valentines Day. I DO NOT CARE if it is a holiday invented by the greeting card companies. Give me cheesiness, pink everything and boxes of Russell Stover chocolates ANY DAY. I love professing my love. I love showing people my love. I love bouquets of red roses, sub-par champagne and romantic dinners at the Olive Garden.

I love IT ALL.

Anyweez, I have recently purchased like, 3 decorations for the upcoming day and I wanted to share them!

We already had the picture frame with this lovely moment captured inside. The two teeny tiny hearts are actually little trinkets I was given awhile back inside a letter and they are just the sweetest. The “love you more” sign I got for $4.99 at Marshall’s for two reasons:

I am a lil’ basic
I say this phrase to anyone who tells me they love me (and it’s true)

This heart-shaped wall hanging is double sided! The other side is a chalkboard in which I also wrote “Love You More” on :). It came with a set of “xoxo” push pins and was a steal from Target at just 5 bucks! I stuck in some of my favorite black and white pics and wrote the little message on the card as well.

Here is our whole console table. I got the “L♥VE” garland at Target in the party section for $4.99 and you can’t tell here but it is completely sparkly. Not a bad little arrangement if you ask me!

Do YOU decorate for Valentines Day?

Boyfriend Jeans, Babies and Bargains

February 10, 2017Leave a comment

Hello there muffins!

I have several topics to cover today, so let’s dive right in shall we!?

Firstly, we have boyfriend jeans. A baggier type of jean which often times features distressed details, this is a look that has been popular for many years. For whatever reason in the past, I shied away from them, thinking they would make me look bigger or more disheveled than I really am (and I’m already pretty disheveled). But then I noticed pictures everywhere of women rocking these type of pants with all kinds of super feminine tops and shoes. And if there’s one thing I can’t resist, it’s a frilly feminine look paired with somethin’ kinda boyish.

So I took the Forever 21 gift card I got for my birthday (thanks again Aunt Sandi!) and procured myself a nice little pair of boyfriend jeans. And guys….I love em!

And while I was there, I made an impulse purchase…but I mean….feast your eyes! How could I NOT own this?

Now onto babies!

E is obsessed with these little Baby Alive suckers. Most of them either pee or poo (no, I’m not kidding) and as a result, we have teeny tiny sopping wet babydoll diapers strewn all over her bathroom, our kitchen table and floors. We basically have a Baby Alive day care. Watching her play with the babies is pretty precious though, especially when she introduces a new one to the group.

In terms of human babies though, you know I have to tell you about Tate.

I haven’t seen my baby in over a month and I am seriously going through withdrawals. Meg tells me he is never without a train in his hand, he still LOVES books and is basically obsessed with anything Mickey Mouse. Oh Taterbug!!

David and I took a random little trip to Eugene, Oregon last weekend. He went to the Ducks game while I went shopping and I ended spending the whole 3 hours chunk mostly at the Rack. Can you blame me!? I also ended up going to J.Crew Mercantile (outlet) and Old Navy.

And I’ll tell you what, I found some crap!

Earrings were $4 and the puff ball keychain with GOLD hardware (been looking for gold forever!) was $5.

Got this tee for myself and Megan! Old Navy, $14.99.

Then on Saturday night David and I had a little date night to a karaoke bar! I overdrew my lips and put on a black ribbed, sleeveless mock neck top FOR THE WIN.

Oh! Did anyone get anything good at the T.J Maxx/Marshalls/Home Goods clearance? Those yellow stickers, man. I got a medium Yankee Candle jar candle for 3 bucks :).

Unicorn Hair!

February 6, 20171 Comment

I knew this would happen eventually.

I mean, we all did.

The other night while David was at a basketball game, I accidentally decided to fix myself a lime perrier + vodka and use E’s hair chalk. I feel this could happen to anybody.

You see, I have been secretly (well not-so-secretly now) obsessed with the whole kawaii trend.

I have also been binge watching Kelly Eden’s YouTube channel, which makes me insanely happy. Here is a picture of her Hollywood apartment…

Source

More than anything tho, it is really bringing out my obsession with miniature things, pastels and Hello Kitty. Although who are we kidding? Was it ever NOT out?

Anyway, here is what I accomplished after 20 minutes of me with pink, purple and turquoise hair chalk pens.

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I threw my hair up in a bun for bed and then decided to wear it into work on Friday. I also sported my Troop Beverly Hills sweatshirt.

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Then everyone at my office wanted pastel hair too! hahah #trendsetter

Oh, and I also painted my nails like this:

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I didn’t choose the kawaii life, the kawaii life chose me.

People I Don’t Have Time For

February 1, 2017January 31, 20171 Comment

Honesty y’all. ‘pinions.

*But like, please do not be offended because this is all in fun.

PEOPLE WHO STILL WRITE CHECKS

To the dozen or so of you that still do this, I implore you – please have the check filled in BEFORE the cashier tells you the total. Also, if you could move off to the side when you are balancing your checkbook after the transaction, that’d be great.

PEOPLE WHO ARE MEAN BARISTAS

I get it. You’re like suuuuper cool. You’re misunderstood. You’ve got 20-something angst pulsing through your veins. You’ve got on super high-waisted pants, suspenders and what looks like a monocle around your neck. You couldn’t possibly muster a smile or dare I say, a “What can I get you?” Instead, you stare through me, looking into a great abyss of cool hipster things that I could not possibly understand, until I politely ask for a drip coffee. In perfect vocal fry, you let me know you only have french press and tell me it’ll be ready “in like 10 minutes”. No big. I say, “Sounds great! Yum! I love french press!” To which you raise your bushy eyebrows and without words, flip the screen of the iPad around to show me a $5 total. I pay and tip a dollar because at least one of us have manners. I smile as you roll your eyes toward the line behind me, stacked with customers eager to be treated this way and sip their $7 latte so they can take a selfie with the cup outside.

PEOPLE ON THE TRAIN WHO DON’T GIVE UP THEIR SEATS

We live in a different time. Gone are the days of men offering their seats to women on buses or trains. Of people offering their seats to the elderly, disabled, mothers with a babies or pregnant women. I cannot tell whether or not people are simply embarrassed, not wanting to come off as chauvinistic or sexist, or maybe they don’t want the other person to think they look like they need a seat. I think that’s probably what it is. People these days are so scared of offending anyone so they lean too far the other direction. But when I see able-bodied college boys too engrossed in their phones to notice the little elderly woman with a cane, obviously needing a seat – it just frosts my cookies. **I know the able-bodied college boys could also have a disability that is not obvious…but I’m #justsayin’.

PEOPLE WHO HAVE CAMEL-TOE

Obvs I’m speaking to the young lasses out there. The younger generation has brought with it lots of amazing things. It’s true, millennials can be a thorn in our side but I think this cockiness and self-righteousness could lead to major innovation down the road. One thing it has also brought BACK however, are camel toes. I partially blame the fashion industry, for encouraging girls who are uneducated in the ways of “the toe” to wear high-waisted, super tight jeans OR black leggings ~~(with socks and Birkenstocks)~~ with EVERYTHING. I think the mothers of these gals need to step up to the plate a little, show them proper lady-pant etiquette so we can all move on with our lives.

PEOPLE WHO SAY WATER TASTES GOOD

Water is essential to human life. We all need it. And some people I’ve discovered are better at drinking it than others. Take me, for example. I LOVE how water makes me feel – hydrated, happier, not to mention my skin looks better! But do I LIKE drinking it? Heyllll no. Maybe if it tasted like Diet Coke, Crystal Light or Grape Fanta. But then there’s the people that are all, “OMG this water tastes soooo good.” And I’m just like, “I don’t have time for you.”

My 2016 (Random) Favorites

January 24, 2017Leave a comment

I decided another go-round of favorites was necessary for last year. Makeup, skincare, hair stuff, and the like can become so blasé these days!

Of cooourrrse everyone raved about Champagne Pop, Shape Tape and the Kylie Liquid Lipsticks but you wanna know what I want to talk about?

The cutest puppy on Pinterest!

The best boxed cereal!

How many times a peen is flashed on Game of Thrones?

You know….the important stuff. So here. It. IS.

** Please bear in mind that I am not restricting myself to things that debuted in 2016.** These were simply my favorites in the year 2016, but could have been from 1987 for all I care.

Favorite Television Show

This was a toughie. Here were the contenders:

Game of Thrones
Stranger Things
Walking Dead
Silicon Valley
American Horror Story

Winner:

Favorite Perfume

ARI by Ariana Grande! Not the most sophisticated of scents. But boy, give me a sugary sweet perfume with a marshmallow undertone N.E day!

Favorite Baby

Was there a question in anyone’s mind!?!?!

My sweet, sparkling baby angel Taterbug.

Favorite Candy

This has to go to a candy I’ve loved so much in 5th grade, it was my nickname at Girl Scout’s camp. A candy so delicious, Marshawn Lynch would score touchdowns for.

I’m talking about the one, the only…

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Favorite Excuse

Made famous by one of my all-time favorite TV characters, Phoebe Bufffay:

original

This realllllly rang true for me in 2016. For the first time in my life, I kinda just did what I wanted to. If I didn’t feel like making dinner, or matching my socks – I didn’t. No excuses. If someone invited me to a less than desirable function…cough, weddings, cough…, I just didn’t go. Call me an asshole. Selfish. It felt great.

And on the same token…

Favorite Man

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This guy ♥.

Who helped me in so many ways this past year and hopefully, I him :).

Favorite Purse

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2016 was all about the backpacks for me. Roomy, easy to organize and hands-free, I mainly used m’trusty Patagonia but then I got a couple realllly cute ones for Christmas that have changed the game!

Favorite YouTuber

Of course, I’m always going to watch the Beauty Gurus do their thang. I particularly love

But my newest YouTube obsession has been…BALLERINAS. In another life, I was one. In my current life, I lack the discipline, grace and stamina so I watch them on YouTube. Joy Womack is the first American to go to the Bolshoi Ballet and she is magnificent to watch.

Favorite Physical Activity

Running is really the only form of exercise that I halfway enjoy. Going to a gym, lifting weights? Just, no. And DO NOT GET ME STARTED ON CROSS-FIT. I am basically the antithesis of cross-fit. But a nice, leisurely jog through the park in the autumn? Ah heyyyll yeah.

Favorite Trend I’m Glad I Tried

Ok you guys – time to get real. I purchased a bodysuit last year. A bodysuit. And I got it at Forever 21. And when I wear it, I feel like a girl of 10 again. In Unionbay overalls, three alternating colors of scrunchies on my wrist and of course a SLAMMIN’ bodysuit underneath.

Also, as you might expect, it comes unsnapped like all the time because I’m 9283 feet tall. I own the style featured below, but in a soft ballet pink.

What were YOUR random favorites last year!?