New Makeup Looks!

Hey gumballs!

Check out this amazing makeup look I threw on the other day:

The gems were a bit tricky but I am just THAT good ;).

But for realsies, I have been playin’ around at the ol’ makeup tabe as of late, probably due to it’s AMAZING new location right in front of our bedroom window (thanks D!). I’ve got all my products organized neatly now and I am just tickled that I can now see all m’sh*t right in front of me. It’s the best you guys – the absolute best.

(let me know if anyone would like a vanity tour!)

Anywee, let’s show you some “looks” as it were…

This one wasn’t crazy unique or anything but I loved the shadows and the smudgy lower lash line.

Some lashes really would’ve set this look off, now that I’m dissecting it. Basically I buffed some dark blues into my crease and then packed the eyelid with the Stila Magnificent Metals in Smoldering Satin. I also used the Marc Jacobs lip liner in Nude(ist) along with my Soap and Glory Pillow Plump in Nude in Town to make my lips as full as they can possibly get without surgery.

David took me on a Mystery Dinner Date that had a flapper theme, so naturally I obliged. I looked at a bunch of pictures of makeup from that era and noticed that by and large, everything was really turned-down and pouty. I obvs added a beauty mark for dramatic effect as well as a slight Geisha-lip.

And lastly, I bring you my humble cut crease. I don’t do a cut crease very often but when I do, I really go for it man. I also added a beauty mark because OF COURSE I DID. Also note: this is fifth day hair. There is in fact, 7 lbs. of dry shampoo in there.

Leave a comment below if you want a break-down of what I used or a tutorial on any of these looks as I would be happy to accommodate!

How I Wrecked My Skin

Hello little sweeties!

Today I bring you some words of wisdom, courtesy of Brian, Nick, AJ, Kevin and Howie D.

Lookin’ back on the things I’ve done
I was tryin’ to be someone
I played my part, kept you in the dark
Now let me show you the shape of my heart

In my case, the “shape of my heart” is in the form of small, brown dots that grace m’mug. Otherwise known as age spots. sun spots or grossest of all, LIVER spots, I have noticed these little b*tches poppin’ up since I hit 30. How did they get there?

The motherf*ckin’ sun, y’all.

TRUE LIFE: The sun wrecked my skin.

All of you know that I am not a stranger to the tanning bed. At one time, my skin tone resembled that of Beyonce’s left butt cheek and I was darn proud of it.

just. don’t judge too hard.

So many gals my age can relate to this I think. The tanning bed was one of my favorite places on earth. Warm. Cozy. Perfect for a power nap. And best of all, I came out feeling prettier. As messed up as THAT sounds.

Not only did I tan in the beds, but I tanned outside. I embraced the sweet little freckles that would sprinkle themselves across my nose each summer. I slathered on the Hawaiian Tropic Dark Tanning Oil, the Australian Gold, the Maui Babe Browning lotion. YOU KNOW the lineup.

I didn’t think anything of this behavior until my mom had her second melanoma removed. Her doctor basically told me that we are all putting ourselves at major risk of skin cancer by tanning all the time. It was that easy for me. I just stopped.

I cancelled my tanning membership, stopped tanning outside, wore sunscreen and hats. I was maybe 25, but unfortunately the damage was already done. Because today, years later, I am suffering the consequences.

Here are my sun spots with a tiny bit of foundation, blush, bronzer etc..

NOT CUTE guys.

And don’t get me wrong, I know they’re not unsightly or anything but they are big and they do bother me. So what are my options?

Well, skincare is just not going to work. Any topical treatment that promises to get rid of dark spots is just LYING. No chemical can remove this puppies, or at least, none that I’ve heard of. From the research I’ve done, it’s gotta be a laser.

IPL Photo-facials to be exact. They are offered at lots of Medi-Spas and are actually becoming quite popular in removing age spots, acne scars and other imperfections.

I am reallllly thinking about scheduling one of these to help diminish the appearance of my sun spots, but I know it isn’t a permanent solution. You have to get one or two a year in order to keep up the results or else the pigment just comes back.

But ANYWAY – just stay outta the sun will ya? Your face will thank you later ūüôā

What do YOU think? Anyone our there ever have an IPL facial?

Covergirl Total Tease Mascara Review

Hey tootsies!

Before I dive into this mascara, I thought I would remind you all of my two tried-and-true overall mascara tips guaranteed to work with ANY mascara.

  1. NEVER “pump” your mascara. This incorporates air into the bottle and will dry-out the product faster.
  2. Treat a new mascara like a fine wine. Open it, let it breathe. Obviously don’t leave the wand out or anything but give mascara like a week or two until you start judging it. I find that a newly opened mascara is never at it’s best right off the bat. It needs some time to ripen up and blossom.

Now back to the Covergirl Total Tease.



I Gotta love the baby pink and black color combo. It reminds me alot of the Benefit Roller Lash in that regard!


The wand on this is pretty damn weird. The bristles are rubber, fairly short and spaced out. The bristles do not wrap all the way around the wand, either. On the side where there aren’t bristles, they put in a tiny bump at the tip of the brush with two little lash combs. I think the idea is the comb allows you to get into tiny places, like the inner and outer most lashes.


Sorry about the RBF

This is a wetter formula for sure and it does not dry super shiny. In fact it dries fairly matte and leaves the lashes feeling pretty soft. The product itself goes on the lashes fairly thick and goopy but because the wand is so separating, it works.


I don’t find myself using the little comb on the end too much when I apply this product. I mostly use the other side and enjoy the separation it gives. I definitely like to wiggle this one back and forth between the lashes to ensure an even coat.


Here’s what this mascara looked like at the end of the day:

It looked pretty nice throughout the day, albeit a bit scraggly at the tips of my lashes. It also doesn’t hold a curl wonderfully, but it definitely wasn’t the worst in that department.


I really like this mascara. It isn’t my absolute favorite but I am always hard-pressed to find a mascara that looks nice on it’s own. Most of the time, I have to use two different mascaras to achieve the length, separation and fullness that I want but this one does a pretty good job on it’s own. It is a bit more “gloppy” then I like on a day-to-day basis but sometimes I need those ka-pow lashes and this stuff delivers on that front.

Trip to North Carolina

Hey y’all.

I don’t know why I’ve already started this post out with a southern accent because truth be told, I didn’t encounter too many while we were in NC. We did however, encounter lots of other wonderful southern delights such as – Dunkin Donuts errrrwhere, the Piggly Wiggly, FIREFLIES and Family Dollar. We joked the whole time we were there that the “holy trinity” in each town was – a Dunkin, Hardee’s and a Family Dollar . JUST MY STYLE.

We took a red-eye over which is never an issue for this old lady, who can manage to sleep (mouth agape always) anywhere, anytime.

Saturday morning after picking up our rental car, we drove to our hotel in Garner and settled into a booth at The Waffle House while we waited for our room to be ready. That night, we attended a beautiful wedding for David’s friend Ben and his lovely bride, Camille.

Before the ceremony, we walked around the gardens and took tons of pics.

Look at my iPhone 7 DO WORK

The ceremony was lovely and the reception was beautiful as well. We had chicken, mashed potatoes, collard greens and corn with a delicious sauce. And rolls. I obviously like m’rolls.

Of course E made pals with all the little girls, including the flower girl who was SO cute.

And of course David took this serious glamour shot of me while we were waiting for our dranks. My arm looks about 7 miles long.

Processed with Rookie Cam

The next day we got up early, had continental breakfast at the hotel (LOVE when hotels have that!) and drove the 2 hours over to David’s brothers house.

We had a blast playing their pool. running through the sprinklers and really just getting to see E and her cousin play together.

Our Airbnb was about 40 minutes from their house on a golf course and after dinner that night we came home and totally crashed. The next morning though, we made a very cool discovery out by the pond…TURTLES!

Being Oregonians, seeing like 30 turtles waddle out to say hi to us was pretty damn cool. We stayed out there for like 30 minutes just watching them.

I pretty much DIED over the screened-in porch and have now decided that I need one of these in my future home.

Later that day, we all went to the beach!

The beach had ACTUAL shells, unlike the coast over here, where all you find is the odd broken sand dollar and the water was semi-warm.

That night, we had a super yummy dinner with the fam and flew back home the next day. Until next time, NC!

Deborah Lippman Nail Polish Review

Hi there summer-time spritzers!

Today I thought I’d review the Deborah Lippman nail polish in the shade “Shape of my Heart”. I received the above pictured duo in my recent FabFitFun box, which turned out to be kindof a major letdown.

Seeing as a regular sized Deborah Lippman polish retails for $18, I figured I owed it to y’all to let you know how I liked the stuff.

Or more accurately, how I didn’t like the stuff.

The shade is really beautiful to start. I love pale pinks and this one is a really gorgeous cool-pink.

The wand on the polish was also a very nice shape and made it easy to apply. But that’s just about it for this product’s positive attributes.

It took me three coats to achieve moderate opacity. THREE. I felt like I was painting my nails forever. As in, I could have iced a wedding cake in the time it took me to apply this.

The end result was aight.

Apologies for the horrendous cutes, but you get the picture.

The next day after washing my hands ONE TIME, this stuff chipped on me. on THE SECOND DAY.

Definitely not a fan of the opacity or wear-time of this polish. I realllllly don’t understand how they charge $18 for this stuff. Sinful Colors boast some amazing shades that last on me at least 3 days with no chips and they cost $1.99. It’s a no-brainer guys.

Wedding Guest Dresses + Art Night

Hi there summer time fruit bowls!

David, E and I are venturing east to North Carolina this weekend! I have never been to a Carolina before but am realllllly excited for the following reasons: 1.) singing “Going to Carolina in My Mind” by James Taylor IN A CAROLINA 2.) I hear it’s pretty 3.) We will be attending a beautiful wedding 4.) We get to see David’s bro + fam.


So anyweezie, I had to procure myself a new dress to wear to the wedding we’re attending as it is “formal” and the 872347623 other dresses I own just won’t do.

Here is what I found at Marshall’s on my lunch break:

This one was kinda tight on the butt/thigh/hip region so bending down might be a show. (ALS): look at my weird-ass foot)

I purely tried this one on because it was an Ivanka Trump and I wan’t to bust David’s chops

I ended up buying this one because the colors are totes my aesthetic

So what do y’all think? Did I make the right choice?

ALSO, David and I went to The Loaded Brush for a wine + art night a couple of weeks ago. I had a Groupon, you see. The one I booked for us was called “Paris Skyline” SO PERFECT FOR ME I KNOW.

We ended up having a really good time and were there for like 3 hours! I am totally going back to do one of the flower ones. I plan to give all my art to my mom and dad and then pretend to get really butt-hurt if they don’t hang them up. It’s going to be hilarious.

The painting was really fun but the Tower d’Eiffel was ridiculous. Nobody could paint it right, not even the instructor. Mine ended up looking like a spaceship and David had the instructor do his. So fun though.

FabFitFun Spring 2017 Box Review

Hi little darlings!

Today I bring you a post I never thought I’d have to write. Its true, y’all…I bought a FabFitFun box.

I know. I’m embarrassed.

Just the name alone makes me cringe.

But then sister Megan pointed out that you get a$80 Dr.Brandt microdermabrasion in the spring box…and I was like ok I see you FabFitFun. I also really like the pastel-colored round beach blanket. So I shelled out the $39 and had my box a week later. The box itself is quite cute. TWSS.

When I opened it¬†however…JUST NO. NO FabFitFun. NO!

I got this beach blanket:

BLUE!???!??!?!?!! No. NOOOOOOOO.

I thought I was getting this one:

What am I going to do with a dumb blue tie-dye blanket? Can I get a re-gift?!

Then I pulled out  the lip-kit which again, I THOUGHT I was a pinky/nude shade.

NO. I got bright ass red.


THEN, I pulled out these earrings…when I thought I was getting a cuff bracelet.

These look like the contents of the bottom of an H&M dollar bin. AND this is discriminatory to people with only one earring whole. AND it was missing an earring anyway.


The rest of the contents included:

These Deborah Lippman mini polishes

I Used the pinky shade the other night and it took THREE streaky coats to achieve this:


These Karuna sheet masks

They was aight. Nothing special.

This Briogeo Rosaro Milk.

This stuff is decent. I also just learned Sephora is selling it online. It retails for like $20 I think.

And the Dr. Brandt product I came for!

I haven’t used this product yet, but I know it’s going to be a good one!

OVERALL – This was SUCH a huge disappointment for me. I didn’t know there were options for some of the products and that is on me. But still, I can be mad. I tweeted the company about the lack-lusterness of the box and they are sending me the cuff as an I’m Sorry present and they offered me $5 off my next box which I will not be continuing unless they can figure out how to package up a real unicorn in the next one.