The Cheapest Makeup Ever

I feel juuuust fine writing this post and calling out this brand  on their sh*t because they are discontinuing it. Just a disclaimer.

Am I rubbing salt in the wound? um YISS.

It all started on a rainy lunch break, where I haphazardly wandered into the downtown H&M. I thought I’d get another 20-pack of pearl earrings, maybe a $5 clearance scarf I’ll never wear, you know – the usual suspects. But then I noticed that H&M’s complete line of makeup was marked down with big red stickers for just DOLLARS.

I asked the two long-haired young men working about the sale. Was it all on sale? Or just certain items? They told me that it was “all like 1 or 2 bucks” so of course I mozied over for a closer looksie.

Like a moth to the flame, I was instantly pulled in. Decent packaging, wide color selection and price tags upwards of $9.99, I thought I had hit the proverbial mother-load. I stuffed maybe 10 items in my claws and dumped them out on the counter to see what the prices would be. Long-haired boy no.1 looked down at the mess of products I was inquiring about and said “I’m just gonna charge you a dollar each for everything”. FINE BY ME YOUNG MAN.

So I walked out with a big ol’ bag a’makeup for $11. Total score. I  whipped out my phone once I got back to work to snap a pic and send a braggy text to Megan about my deal of the day.


Later that night when David was putting E to bed, I excitedly dumped out all the packages on our bed and got to work taking pics for lé blog and swatching.

This is when my mistake was realized. Pretty much all of it is total crap. Like, worse than crap. Actual ka-ka.

The “sheer lip color” caught like crazy against my skin and the color was patchy and dry. It also wasn’t really that sheer.




The concealer’s consistency was as if someone took a crappy $1 foundation from Dollar Tree, mixed it with some mineral oil, and stuck it in a tube. I couldn’t even get a proper swatch.


The blue liner (while a beautiful sparkly blue color) completely flaked after 22 seconds.



This nail polish color is super pretty! It actually lasted for about 3 days before chipping.



And then there’s the lashes. I bought three packs of these. And I can happily report, they weren’t bad! Not the easiest to work with and I had to do ALOT of trimming and sculpting but they look aight (see below).



All of the brushes are SUPER wonderful considering the fact that they were $1. I wouldn’t have spent much more on them, though. They are decently soft and do the job.


The only thing I have not used (and may never use) are these babies:


The real victims here are anyone who paid full asking price for this stuff. I mean, $9.99 for the lipstick? I would rather buy a Homer Simpson Chia Pet.

So what did we learn today?

Do not go hog wild for discontinued, $1 makeup. Or if you’re like me, DO. Because you’ll get a kick out of it.

Valentines Day Home Decor

I made you guys a card!


Dontcha just ♥ it!?

Unlike many other practical women, I LOVE Valentines Day. I DO NOT CARE if it is a holiday invented by the greeting card companies. Give me cheesiness, pink everything and boxes of Russell Stover chocolates ANY DAY.  I love professing my love. I love showing people my love. I love bouquets of red roses, sub-par champagne and romantic dinners at the Olive Garden.

I love IT ALL.

Anyweez, I have recently purchased like, 3 decorations for the upcoming day and I wanted to share them!


We already had the picture frame with this lovely moment captured inside. The two teeny tiny hearts are actually little trinkets I was given awhile back inside a letter and they are just the sweetest. The “love you more” sign I got for $4.99 at Marshall’s for two reasons:

  1. I am a lil’ basic
  2. I say this phrase to anyone who tells me they love me (and it’s true)


This heart-shaped wall hanging is double sided! The other side is a chalkboard in which I also wrote “Love You More” on :). It came with a set of “xoxo” push pins and was a steal from Target at just 5 bucks! I stuck in some of my favorite black and white pics and wrote the little message on the card as well.


Here is our whole console table. I got the “L♥VE” garland at Target in the party section for $4.99 and you can’t tell here but it is completely sparkly. Not a bad little arrangement if you ask me!

Do YOU decorate for Valentines Day?


Boyfriend Jeans, Babies and Bargains

Hello there muffins!

I have several topics to cover today, so let’s dive right in shall we!?

Firstly, we have boyfriend jeans. A baggier type of jean which often times features distressed details, this is a look that has been popular for many years. For whatever reason in the past, I shied away from them, thinking they would make me look bigger or more disheveled than I really am (and I’m already pretty disheveled). But then I noticed pictures everywhere of women rocking these type of pants with all kinds of super feminine tops and shoes. And if there’s one thing I can’t resist, it’s a frilly feminine look paired with somethin’ kinda boyish.

So I took the Forever 21 gift card I got for my birthday (thanks again Aunt Sandi!) and procured myself a nice little pair of boyfriend jeans. And guys….I love em!


And while I was there, I made an impulse purchase…but I mean….feast your eyes! How could I NOT own this?


Now onto babies!


E is obsessed with these little Baby Alive suckers. Most of them either pee or poo (no, I’m not kidding) and as a result, we have teeny tiny sopping wet babydoll diapers strewn all over her bathroom, our kitchen table and floors. We basically have a Baby Alive day care. Watching her play with the babies is pretty precious though, especially when she introduces a new one to the group.

In terms of human babies though, you know I have to tell you about Tate.




I haven’t seen my baby in over a month and I am seriously going through withdrawals. Meg tells me he is never without a train in his hand, he still LOVES books and is basically obsessed with anything Mickey Mouse. Oh Taterbug!!

 David and I took a random little trip to Eugene, Oregon last weekend. He went to the Ducks game while I went shopping and I ended spending the whole 3 hours chunk mostly at the Rack. Can you blame me!? I also ended up going to J.Crew Mercantile (outlet) and Old Navy.

And I’ll tell you what, I found some crap!



Earrings were $4 and the puff ball keychain with GOLD hardware (been looking for gold forever!) was $5.



Got this tee for myself and Megan! Old Navy, $14.99.

Then on Saturday night David and I had a little date night to a karaoke bar! I overdrew my lips and put on a black ribbed, sleeveless mock neck top FOR THE WIN.



Oh! Did anyone get anything good at the T.J Maxx/Marshalls/Home Goods clearance? Those yellow stickers, man. I got a medium Yankee Candle jar candle for 3 bucks :).



Unicorn Hair!

I knew this would happen eventually.

I mean, we all did.

The other night while David was at a basketball game, I accidentally decided to fix myself a lime perrier + vodka and use E’s hair chalk. I feel this could happen to anybody.

You see, I have been secretly (well not-so-secretly now) obsessed with the whole kawaii trend.

I have also been binge watching Kelly Eden’s YouTube channel, which makes me insanely happy. Here is a picture of  her Hollywood apartment…

More than anything tho, it is really bringing out my obsession with miniature things, pastels and Hello Kitty. Although who are we kidding? Was it ever NOT out?

Anyway, here is what I accomplished after 20 minutes of me with pink, purple and turquoise hair chalk pens.



I threw my hair up in a bun for bed and then decided to wear it into work on Friday. I also sported my Troop Beverly Hills sweatshirt.


 Then everyone at my office wanted pastel hair too! hahah #trendsetter

Oh, and I also painted my nails like this:


I didn’t choose the kawaii life, the kawaii life chose me.

People I Don’t Have Time For

Honesty y’all. ‘pinions.

*But like, please do not be offended because this is all in fun.


 To the dozen or so of you that still do this, I implore you – please have the check filled in BEFORE the cashier tells you the total. Also, if you could move off to the side when you are balancing your checkbook after the transaction, that’d be great.


I get it. You’re like suuuuper cool. You’re misunderstood. You’ve got 20-something angst pulsing through your veins. You’ve got on super high-waisted pants, suspenders and what looks like a monocle around your neck. You couldn’t possibly muster a smile or dare I say, a “What can I get you?” Instead, you stare through me, looking into a great abyss of cool hipster things that I could not possibly understand, until I politely ask for a drip coffee. In perfect vocal fry, you let me know you only have french press and tell me it’ll be ready “in like 10 minutes”. No big. I say, “Sounds great! Yum! I love french press!” To which you raise your bushy eyebrows and without words,  flip the screen of the iPad around to show me a $5 total. I pay and tip a dollar because at least one of us have manners. I smile as you roll your eyes toward the line behind me, stacked with customers eager to be treated this way and sip their $7 latte so they can take a selfie with the cup outside.


We live in a different time. Gone are the days of men offering their seats to women on buses or trains. Of people offering their seats to the elderly, disabled, mothers with a babies or pregnant women. I cannot tell whether or not people are simply embarrassed, not wanting to come off as chauvinistic or sexist, or maybe they don’t want the other person to think they look like they need a seat. I think that’s probably what it is. People these days are so scared of offending anyone so they lean too far the other direction. But when I see able-bodied college boys too engrossed in their phones to notice the little elderly woman with a cane, obviously needing a seat – it just frosts my cookies. **I know the able-bodied college boys could also have a disability that is not obvious…but I’m #justsayin’.


Obvs I’m speaking to the young lasses out there. The younger generation has brought with it lots of amazing things. It’s true, millennials can be a thorn in our side but I think this cockiness and self-righteousness could lead to major innovation down the road. One thing it has also brought BACK however, are camel toes. I partially blame the fashion industry, for encouraging girls who are uneducated in the ways of “the toe” to wear high-waisted, super tight jeans OR black leggings (with socks and Birkenstocks) with EVERYTHING. I think the mothers of these gals need to step up to the plate a little, show them proper lady-pant etiquette so we can all move on with our lives.


Water is essential to human life. We all need it. And some people I’ve discovered are better at drinking it than others. Take me, for example. I LOVE how water makes me feel – hydrated, happier, not to mention my skin looks better! But do I LIKE drinking it? Heyllll no. Maybe if it tasted like Diet Coke, Crystal Light or Grape Fanta. But then there’s the people that are all, “OMG this water tastes soooo good.” And I’m just like, “I don’t have time for you.”

My 2016 (Random) Favorites

I decided another go-round of favorites was necessary for last year. Makeup, skincare, hair stuff, and the like can become so blasé these days!

Of cooourrrse everyone raved about Champagne Pop, Shape Tape and the Kylie Liquid Lipsticks but you wanna know what I want to talk about?

The cutest puppy on Pinterest!

The best boxed cereal!

How many times a peen is flashed on Game of Thrones?

You know….the important stuff. So here. It. IS.

** Please bear in mind that I am not restricting myself to things that debuted in 2016.**              These were simply my favorites in the year 2016, but could have been from 1987 for all I care.

Favorite Television Show 

This was a toughie. Here were the contenders:

  • Game of Thrones
  • Stranger Things
  • Walking Dead
  • Silicon Valley
  • American Horror Story




Favorite Perfume


ARI by Ariana Grande!  Not the most sophisticated of scents. But boy, give me a sugary sweet perfume with a marshmallow undertone N.E day!

Favorite Baby

Was there a question in anyone’s mind!?!?!




My sweet, sparkling baby angel Taterbug.

Favorite Candy

This has to go to a candy I’ve loved so much in 5th grade, it was my nickname at Girl Scout’s camp. A candy so delicious, Marshawn Lynch would score touchdowns for.

I’m talking about the one, the only…


Favorite Excuse 

Made famous by one of my all-time favorite TV characters, Phoebe Bufffay:


This realllllly rang true for me in 2016. For the first time in my life, I kinda just did what I wanted to. If I didn’t feel like making dinner, or matching my socks – I didn’t. No excuses. If someone invited me to a less than desirable function…cough, weddings, cough…, I just didn’t go. Call me an asshole. Selfish. It felt great.

And on the same token…

Favorite Man


This guy ♥.

Who helped me in so many ways this past year and hopefully, I him :).

Favorite Purse





2016 was all about the backpacks for me. Roomy, easy to organize and hands-free, I mainly used m’trusty Patagonia but then I got a couple realllly cute ones for Christmas that have changed the game!

Favorite YouTuber

Of course, I’m always going to watch the Beauty Gurus do their thang. I particularly love

But my newest YouTube obsession has been…BALLERINAS. In another life, I was one. In my current life, I lack the discipline, grace and stamina so I watch them on YouTube. Joy Womack is the first American to go to the Bolshoi Ballet and she is magnificent to watch.


Favorite Physical Activity

Running is really the only form of exercise that I halfway enjoy. Going to a gym, lifting weights? Just, no. And DO NOT GET ME STARTED ON CROSS-FIT. I am basically the antithesis of cross-fit. But a nice, leisurely jog through the park in the autumn? Ah heyyyll yeah.


Favorite Trend I’m Glad I Tried

Ok you guys – time to get real. I purchased a bodysuit last year. A bodysuit. And I got it at Forever 21. And when I wear it,  I feel like a girl of 10 again. In Unionbay overalls, three alternating colors of scrunchies on my wrist and of course a SLAMMIN’ bodysuit underneath.

Also, as you might expect, it comes unsnapped like all the time because I’m 9283 feet tall. I own the style featured below, but in a soft ballet pink.


What were YOUR random favorites last year!?

My 2016 Favorites

Per usual, I’m a bit late to the party with my fave things from 2016 but hey, at least I showed up!


Clinique Beyond Perfecting Foundation + Concealer


I used this foundation for most of 2016 and for good reason. The coverage is really great with a pretty small amount and it lasts very nicely. I found that it applies best with a buffing brush rather than a beauty blender and doesn’t require a whole lot of setting. Also, the price is right at under $30.

Maybelline Better Skin Concealer

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For a drugstore concealer, this one takes the cake for me. Due to my transparent skin and vitamin-deficient diet, my under eyes require a hefty dose of concealing on the daily. As such, I tend to go through concealers quite frequently. If my wallet allowed, I would go to town with Nars Radiant Creamy or Tarte Shape Tape (which I really MUST get my hands on), but for under 9 bucks a pop, this concealer works juuuust fine.

Laura Mercier Secret Brightening Powder


This is the perfect under-eye setting powder. It is SUPER finely milled and (as the name suggests) is very brightening. Do not be alarmed by the white color of this powder when freshly applied, as it blends away like a dream!

Physician’s Formula Butter Bronzer


This bronzer is seriously BEAUTIFUL. The color is perfect on me and it blends wonderfully. On top of that, it smells cuh-razy good. As in, I want my whole body to smell like it. And it’s from the drugstore so win-win!

Marc Jacobs Shameless Bold Blush in Obsessed


This color is just perfect. It is described on the site as a “warm pink” and I find that to be pretty accurate but sometimes it even leans on the peach side. Great formula. Long-lasting. Good stuff.

Wet’n’Wild Mega Glo Highlighting Powder in Precious Petals (on the right)



This limited edish highlight sent me on quite the wild goose chase (read about that here) but was totally worth it in the end! I would describe the color as a slightly pink-champagne. It is completely gorgeous, on par with other $40 highlighters and costs under $4. SUCH a find!

Covergirl Supersizer Mascara


For the second year in a row, this mascara has captured my heart. While it can be a little B to remove completely (try micellar water!), one cannot deny it’s separating and lengthening effects. I love to combine it with the L’Oreal Carbon Black Voluminous Mascara which is another front-runner in the drugstore mascara race.

Stila Stay All Day Water Proof Liquid Eyeliner


If you are looking for the easiest, most richly pigmented waterproof liquid liner – LOOK NO FURTHER. This eyeliner has beat out so many others for me. As the name suggests, it does in fact stay all day, is super black and VERY easy to apply.

Rimmel Lasting Finish Kate Moss Lipstick in Rock N Roll Nude



This is the perfect shade of lipstick for me. Similar to my ride-or-die Mac Creme Cup, this color is lovely for every day. I can throw it on without thinking and it compliments any eye look perfectly. I also like the smell of these Rimmel lipsticks!

Buxom Full-On Lip Cream in White Russian


This gloss is perfect on it’s own or over any nude or pink lipstick. It gives that “wet” look without any glitter or shimmer and it has a slight plumping effect which I personally enjoy. I really could purchase SO many colors from this line.

Treat Beauty Jumbo Lip Balm in Confetti Cake


I have raved about this lip balm since I purchased it 6 months ago. It is by FAR my favorite lip balm and I love that it is in the jumbo size. The first ingredient in this stuff is organic coconut oil so I also use this under my eyes for a quick moisture boost whenever I need it!

iBeauty 21 Brush


I found this Artis-style brush at TJ Maxx for $7.99 and wasn’t sure how I would like it. Wellll, I don’t like it. I LOVE IT. It applies most foundations super duper smooth and even. Plus, it is a fun design. What’s not to love?


Dermadoctor KP Duty Lotion


This stuff aint cheap but I can confirm it DOES work on the keratosis pilaris on my legs. It is the best treatment lotion I have used and doesn’t leave a chalky feel afterwards like the prescription lotions can.

Castor Oil


So I have reallllly enjoyed owning this bottle of Castor Oil. First off, it is what I run through my eyelashes every night to help with growth, thickness and to keep them conditioned. Secondly, during these cold as tits winter months, I tend to rub this all over my hands, feet, knees and elbows at night time for added hydration. It doesn’t have a weird scent, costs next to nothing and works wonders. I love this stuff.

Sephora Gradual Self-Tanning Face Water


It makes me sad to look at this stuff and then realize the pasty ghost I’ve allowed myself to become RN. Anyway, this stuff reallly works in the best way possible. I, for one enjoy a nice healthy glow and this product delivers flawlessly. I will apply this with a cotton pad for maybe 3 days in a row to build up a nice, subtle glow and then keep using every 1-2 days to maintain.

Sinful Colors Nail Polish in Vacation Time



I have painted my nails this color probably 4-5 times in 2016. Says alot.

Batiste Dry Shampoo


DO NOT overlook the Batiste Dry Shampoo in the Tropical scent. It smells like coconuts and makes you feel like you are a Roxy model.



But mostly, the Ro’s Argan Body Conditioner which I have talked about over and over again. It is the best product probably ever invented by anyone. Ever.