A Girl

The results are in gummy bears!

It’s a girl.

No, we did not have a gender reveal party. No confetti cannons. No balloon-filled boxes or frosting-stuffed cakes. No posts of our dog with a sign saying, “I’m going to be a big sister!” or baby clothes carefully strewn on an ironic reclaimed wood table.

We sat on the couch, read the email (we did FaceTime with my parents and sister Meg) and I spent the next 45 minutes ugly-sobbing onto David’s shoulder. Why, you ask?

Because I kinda wanted a boy.

Annnnnnnnd RELEASE THE HOUNDS! 😉 I know I am not “supposed” to say that but it is the truth.  You see, when my sister found out she was having a boy almost three years ago, there was a period of adjustment. I have two sisters, all we ever knew was girls! But when Tate Maxwell was born my heart was literally ripped out of my chest and stolen by this tiny man. We all fell so hard for him and since then, I have fancied a boy for myself. I wanted a mini-David. I wanted to call him Baby Davey until high school and have him get mad at me. I wanted him to play basketball like his Dad, or play the fiddle like his Auntie Bekah, or play Rolf in The Sound of Music, a role his mother was sorely robbed of. I wanted him to drink milk straight out of the milk jug so I could yell at him but secretly NGAF. I wanted so much for me and my boy.

But really. OF COURSE I am ecstatic to a.) have conceived a baby at all – AND – b.) have a healthy baby so far. And while a little boy was what I had on my mind before, of course all I can think about now is this little girl.

But I tend to like to think about things in terms of pros and cons.

PROS OF BEING MY DAUGHTER

  1. The Fam

Being my daughter means she will have unlimited access to my family. Within that group are professional musicians, Goodwill/Yard Sale aficionados, coders, an AMAZING hair  dresser, teachers and an aunt who can teach you to beat people up.

2.  24 Hour In-Home Beauty Consultation

Big zit right before the school dance? Talent show tomorrow with no planned costume? Unruly bed head every morning? Your dear mother will be there for it all and prefers to live life by the “better to arrive late than ugly” motto.

3. A Possible Upper Hand in Athletics

While I cannot guarantee coordination or a ruthless competitive nature, (she may however, get that from her father) I CAN guarantee the ankles and wherewithal to make it happen. Extra props will be given for choosing an indoor sport or of course, volleyball :).

4. The Music

What she may lack in perfect pitch, she will surely make up for in appreciation and a general enthusiasm for music of all kinds. Musicals, jazz and classical will be favored over country but most genres will at least be considered. She will however be subjected to made up songs, dance and soft-shoe routines on the fly.

5. A Sugary Diet

Both mother and father have horrendous sweet tooths meaning any offspring will hugely benefit. While a wholesome diet will be encouraged, foods such as kale, bananas, cantaloupe, sauerkraut and several other items will never be served. Name brand Pop Tarts and Snack Cakes will be regulars and a love for black licorice will be wholly supported.

CONS OF BEING MY DAUGHTER

  1. The Possibility of Being Freakishly Tall

While this is not certain, there is a strong possibility we’ll be dealing with an Amazon. Being one myself means that I am acutely aware of the trials and tribulations she will inevitably face. She WILL be the last person asked to dance at school socials. She WILL get asked “How’s the weather up there?”, “Do you play basketball?”, and “How tall are your parents?”. She WILL struggle with all kinds of clothing but mostly jeans, ROMPERS, full-length dresses, long-sleeved shirts and trying to convince herself that her shoes are NOT boats. I will be there for her, every step of the way. Reminding her that yes the boys will catch up to her (some girls will too!), that tall is beautiful, that she can reach things on the top shelf and all the other wonderful things about being a tall woman.

2. A Little too Much Enthusiasm

Both father and mother are pretty excitable and enthusiastic people. Depending on the personality type, this could be a good thing or a very bad thing. For example, if she is really into Fortnite I’ll be buying us matching gaming chairs and a mini-fridge of Mt. Dew. If she is into Irish step dancing I’ll perm my hair. If it’s larping, just buy me  a scraggly wizard’s beard and point me towards the forest.

3. Drama

I have been told I am a bit dramatic. I KNOW. Ridiculous accusation. Eccentric? Yes. Wildly talented? Sure. But dramatic? Surely not. If this child is exposed to any amounts of drama it will be in good fun and well-warranted. I’ll admit I do get slightly worked up in certain situations or when certain events occur. But really, don’t we all?

4. Mental Health Challenges

If being freakishly tall is not a sure thing, having issues with mental health unfortunately will be. The entire family struggles with various forms of anxiety and depression and this little angel will be no exception. She will however, have a village of mental-health advocates surrounding her and a mother who will continue to talk openly about it, try to breakdown stereotypes and encourage plenty of self care.

5. Possible Weird Physical/Personality Attributes

Physical attributes include, but are not limited to: thin hair, man shoulders, a VERY pointy chin, bad eye sight, BUNIONS (I’m so sorry), a longer second toe, bad hearing, and large nostrils. Personality attributes that are hopefully not passed down include: no sense of direction, preemptively laughing at own jokes before the punch line, over-apologizing, being HORRIBLE at math and singing wrong lyrics to popular songs. *Let’s hope to God David’s genes can take over here.

So there you have it. While the odds are definitely not in her favor in some areas, in others she will be blessed beyond measure.

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It’s Baby Time

Say whaaat!?

Yes, my friends. I am with child. EW. That sounds gross. But I also do not care for the word “pregnant” or “prego” or the worst offender, “preggers”. I’d rather just say I am growing a baby or something more matter-of-factual.

And really, I do not expect you to care. When I hit 25, people’s babies starting popping up like spring tulips alllll over my socials and while my official sentiments were always something along the lines of “Congrats! What a cutie!”, inside I was like:

And also. Before you say “well that was quick”, like my sister Megan lovingly pointed out upon us telling her…Yeah! It was really quick. We were trying, but not for that long. I am about 3 months into this thing and as per usual, I plan to tell you allll about it.

But first, a disclaimer. Or rather, several disclaimers.

  1. I will not be over-sharing.

There will be absolutely no TMI anywhere near this blog. If you want that kindof thing, there is a  lady on YouTube who filmed herself having her baby IN A CREEK. So go watch that. I did.

2. I will be speaking my truth.

98% of being with child, having the thing and being it’s mom genuinely freaks me out and not in a good way. I have decently high generalized anxiety and I plan to talk about it. I am  overwhelmingly excited and happy to share love with this person, but if you are expecting a glowing, healthy-eating mother-to-be, wearing floral crowns and getting maternity pictures taken at sunset than BYE.

3. I mean no offense.

I am well versed in the mommy-shaming that goes on everywhere, all the time. I am aware that MY opinions on the subjects I may or may not decide to write about may evoke certain feelings or thoughts in others. Please know that I mean no harm, no offense, am always happy to learn and am just doing my best here guys.

So now, onto the things.

As previously stated, I have about 6 more months until this thing makes it’s grand entrance in to the world. The logistics so far have been fine. We have seen and heard a heartbeat, talked about vitamins and I had a blood draw (where I nearly passed out). I am seeing a midwife and she is wonderful. This worked out well, because my therapist recommended I use both a midwife and a doula to try and help with anxiety. Which leads me to….

MY MENTAL STATE

After I took the two initial tests to confirm the state I thought I might be in, I was SHOCKED. See pictures for proof:

Due to my age, my sister’s difficulty in conceiving and just my dumb luck I just thought it would take me a while to conceive. Not the case. Since then, I have continued to exist in almost an out-of-body state. This whole thing has not come easy or natural to me. The app I downloaded to compare the baby to a piece of fruit each week had to be deleted. I just couldn’t look. The book my doctor gave me to read? Still sitting on the kitchen table where it will never be touched. I divert my eyes when I spot  pregnant women on the street or see a “hospital bag must-haves!” post on Pinterest. I feel paralyzed. I don’t wanna know.  My anxiety has flared up harder than a tiki torch. But luckily, I have David to lean on. I truly do not know where I would be without him. I also have my family, friends, MEIRA, medication, and weekly sessions with my therapist.

My rock.

THINGS THAT HAVE SUCKED

Nausea. I started wearing Sea Bands from the get-go and whether or not it is a placebo effect…I just don’t care. I started feeling a teensy bit better when I wore them so suck it. I now have three pairs of them in both black and gray. Plus by wearing them I am always only a pair of spandex away from sweatin’ to the oldies!

My sense of smell. The lady 2 blocks away wearing one too many sprays of Shalimar…I can smell you. The 22-year-old bike courier with taco pits who just stepped off the elevator…I can smell you. Co-worker who had an onion bagel for breakfast – yesterday….I can smell you. I should really go down to the Portland Police and offer my services to sniff out drugs because… I CAN SMELL YOU.

Impatience. As of late, I do not have time for anyone or anything. Lady on the train blocking everyone from an aisle with several available seats with her giant Ikea bag filled with cat food – I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR YOU. Computer monitor at work that keeps flashing “cannot detect display port”, I do not have time for you! Even my own mother, telling me a story about her next door neighbor’s daughters graduation party where they rented an entire taco truck! Mom, love you. I don’t have time for you.

Acne. Not only is my forehead decorated with lovely bumps, but my skin type has also completely changed. My skin is noticeably more oily and don’t get me started on my hair. I used to be able to go 4 days between hair washings and now I am lucky to make it to every other day. I can srsly empty a can of dry shampoo in my hair and it makes no difference.

Bone Pain. My bones they are a shiftin’. Man that grosses me out. My tail bone as well as hip bones are just in a constant state of ouch. I feel like my body is being rearranged and I have no say in the matter.

I could go on and on guys. Food aversions, drippy nose, FATIGUE! You name it, I’ve got it going on. The other night, David and I planned to actually GO OUT FOR DINNER together, a rarity given all the aforementioned inflictions. I got ALL READY and then a big ol’ wave of nausea just swept over me and we had to abandon ship. I had to take off freshly applied makeup! FRESHLY. applied. Of course I first snapped a photo.

So that’s where we are. Complaining, being impatient and eating a pack of Strawberry Sour Punch Straws a day. Let’s do this thing.

Shows I Need the Next Season Of

Hi friends.

I have been a little under the weather the past couple weeks. And while feeling sick is no trip to Disneyland, my TV-watching game has been nothin but strong. So if you’re looking for a new show to become addicted to, LOOK NO FURTHER.

Peaky Blinders

Or should I say, “Peaky F*ckin Blinders”? I’ll admit the very first episode of this show moved a wee bit slow for my taste but I PROMISE it picks up very quickly. It is set in England in the 1920’s (the costumes! i die!) and follows a gang known as the Peaky Blinders. It is definitely dark, dramatic, and bloody. The cast is chain smoking, swearing, and downing whiskey in every single scene and after watching you may feel like beating someone up. The show just sucked me in and David and I barreled through them in a matter of a couple months.

Ozark

Ok this show makes my anxiety flare up like tiki torch but idc because it is THAT good. Jason Bateman is definitely NOT in a typical role for him, but he plays the part perfectly. Money laundering never felt so possible! There has only been one season of this show (they are making a season two) and it is doable over a long weekend.

The O.A

This is truly a WEIRD one but I promise it is well worth the watch. The story line is just incredible and although it is completely bizarre, both David and I were just GLUED.  There is only one season as well (season two is on the way) so it is not too much of a time commitment.

The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel

Now for a comedy! I knew I would fall madly in love with this show as soon as I found out that it was created by Amy Sherman-Palladino (the creator of Gilmore Girls). I was HOOKED within the first 30 seconds mostly because of the amazing sets (I WANT her apartment!), costumes and the main character. The episode where she goes through her bedtime routine had me quaking. This show is clever, hilarious, and just all around amazing.

Wild Wild Country

Ok, so their wont be a season two of this but like…where have I been? All of this sh*t went down in OREGON and I had never heard of it before!! If you haven’t heard of the Rajneesh or this documentary, GIVE IT A WATCH. Again, the first episode is a little slow but then it picks up speed rapidly. What had me interested was a comment David’s grandmother made when she heard they were making a documentary about it. She said, “I remember Portland back then, you couldn’t find a red dress anywhere in the whole city!” HELLO I’M INTRIGUED NOW.

13 Reasons Why

Season two leaves us on kind of another cliff hanger and I for one need certain people to be BROUGHT TO JUSTICE. If you haven’t had the chance to watch this show, I think it brings up lots of good questions. I also think it would be wise to watch it if you have kids or are around kids frequently. Being someone who suffers from mental health issues, I think this show can do a lot of good. I know it has been criticized for glamorizing suicide  and in a way I can see that. I do not think teenagers or children should watch this show, especially alone. But taken in the right way, this show does a great job of showing the pressures kids face and how isolated they can feel.

Dr. Foster

This one’s a thriller! The main character suspects her husband of cheating on her in the first episode and it just unravels from there. I love BBC shows or anything set in another country and this one was no exception. I burned through the episodes so quick and I heard a rumor that season three is a possibility!

Wentworth

I have talked about this show before but I have to mention it again. I like it as much as Orange is the New Black. There, I said it. I love the characters, the accents, the villains, everything! It is the lady-prison I live for. And I am dying for the next season to land in my Netflix so I can have a binge of epic proportions.

Girlfriends Guide to Divorce

OK. So this show ain’t winning any Emmy’s but I still love it. The story lines are funny, the acting is pretty good and the outfits are gorgeous. It is a feel-good, girly show and it provides mindless hours of entertainment. I also like that it is set in L.A. I love shows set in L.A. Just don’t want to live there.

Grace & Frankie

Pretty sure I’ve already praised this show multiple times but believe me, it is worth it. Need I say more about the actresses? The story line is clever and the writing is hilarious. I freakin’ love this show.

Give me your recommendations! I need more shows 🙂

Honeymoon in Palm Springs

Hello peach rings!

The second installment of our marriage + honeymoon is coming atcha. Hope that’s cool.

David’s lovely grandmother Rosalie gave us a week stay in Palm Springs at a condo which she won at an auction. This gift pretty much determined our honeymoon destination because, free. Then we used miles to purchase the airfare and a rental car turned out to be $120 for the whole week. So basically Palm Springs paid US to be there.

Here were the highlights:

Before leaving Portland I had my nails done and got the chrome/pearly powder placed OVER a peachy colored shellac. It. Was. SO PRETTY. The guy doing my nails kept saying how good it looked, which never happens to me.

Upon arrival in PS, we were starving and immediately sought sustenance before going to Trader Joes for groceries. Because everyone knows that going to Trader Joes hungry usually results in Joe Joes, at LEAST one jar of cookie butter and far too many blocks of cheese.

David had two strong drinks and was immediately on vacation.

After shopping, we took 3 hour naps because that is what you do when you go on a honeymoon in your mid to late thirties. Then we went to Tommy Bahama for dinner because I like their coconut shrimp. Here we are with with some champs.

Another night we went to the Thursday Market in downtown Palm Springs. It was pretty fun to stroll along and people watch. Then we happened upon theee most charming macaron stand appointed by two strapping gays living their best cookie life. I tried to be friends with  them but the  macaron madness was real and apparently they were not in the market for a new sisterrr…darn. We did purchase three cookies, one of which was sparkly!

Then we went to a restaurant/lounge called Melvyn’s which is supposedly famous and listened to a man sing and pretend to play the piano. He also pretended to play the uke. It was painfully obvious that he wasn’t playing for real and so after one drink we asked our server about it to which she replied, “No comment”. We paid our bill and promptly PTFO. Are you kidding me!?

Saturday night we scored tickets to The Winehouse Experience at The Purple Room, which was a far cry from the fake and dismal performance at Melvyn’s. The 9-man band consisted of guitar, piano, sax, brass, drums and 2 male BACK-UP DANCERS. The headliner paying tribute to the lategreat Miss Winehouse was AMAZING and the show was spectacular.

Each day looked pretty much the same for us. Wake up, breakfast, get ready, go out, come home, take nap, get in pool, clean up, go to dinner. The pool portion was probably my favorite…

One morning we decided to visit Pioneer Town, which was about an hour’s drive. Allegedly, Pioneer Town was founded by investors like Roy Rodgers and Gene Autry and was the set for dozens of old western movies.

We arrived around 10 am on a weekday and the place was quite literally, a ghost town…

So, we did what anyone would do. Walked around and took selfies until the restaurant opened at 11:00 am.

Oh and did a little yoga…

Then we went to Pappy and Harriets for lunch!

Other fun outings included: shopping (duh), enjoying cold drinks pretty much everywhere and mostly RELAXING!

New earrings

Paparazzi pic at Jamba Juice

All in all, Palm Springs was wonderful. We thoroughly enjoyed our week of blissful relaxation and will definitely go back someday.

Too Faced Natural Eyes Palette Review

G’day!

Aside from the palette I’ll be discussing today in this blog post, I would also like to acknowledge my overdrawn lips in the photos below. Because while I have decided to embrace my prior-to-2014-Kylie-pout, sometimes I do wish they was poppin.

And if anyone wants a quick walk through on an overdrawn lip, just say the word.

Recently, sister Meg gifted me the ever popular Too Faced Natural Eyes Palette. Lucky for us, Too Faced has re-vamped the packaging so the old palettes are being sold off at discount retailers like T.J Maxx. Yipee!

I MEAN, I needed another neutral eyeshadow palette like I needed a hole in my head but this one is just too good to pass up for $15.

We’ve got mattes! We’ve got shimmers! We’ve got soft and richly pigmented colors that blend out like a freakin’ dream.

I created the following look using this palette:

 

And sorry about the seriousness. It was scorching hot outside and apparently I was not in a smiley mood!

I feel like I do not need to say much about this palette because it speaks for itself. It is SUCH a perfect blend of colors. The quality of the shadows is outstanding and the longevity is there as well. This one knocks it outta the park for me.

Married

OH hi.

So….yes. We got married! We went on our honeymoon! We are now back to the grind and before I get swept up in another random skin care product or list of summer must-haves, I thought I owed it to you all (and myself, really) to make a little post about the wedding. Separate post covering the honeymoon later.

David and I knew we wanted a really small, laid-back ceremony. If you have been married before, you know why. To me, weddings are bullsh*t  errr, I mean a totally unnecessary waste of money.  Large weddings with all the pomp and frills are soooo not me, not David, not US. We knew early on that we were either going to the courthouse with our parents as witnesses and a small celebration after, or doing an intimate ceremony somewhere private. Meghan Markle, I am not.

We ended up choosing a beautiful rental home on the Oregon Coast with a stunning view. We had close friends stay with us in the house and family stayed close by. My best friend Bekah married us on the deck and we had dinner, drinks and cake right after. I will include more random details below.

The night before the wedding, everyone came over and hung out. We had pizza and wine. It was perfect.

The next morning I got up and David and I polished up our vows before heading down to the beach with E, Tate and my fam.

Then we went back, I showered and started my makeup. It is after all, the most important thing about anyone’s wedding day ;). David kept emphasizing that he wanted me to “look like me” so I had to hold myself back from going FULL glam like I may or may not have done. I let my freckles show through, I kept the eyes and lips really natural and I kept everything soft.

Of course I did wear falsies because there was no way that WASN’T happening. These are the Velour Silk Lashes in “Trust Me Try It”. They were SO soft and fluffy and absolutely gorgeous. I got the sparkly flower crown from Ross. I KNOW. Wiiiiig.

Then I put my dress on and without really planning it, did a “first look” with David on the beach. **I LOATHE “first looks” or anything cheesy or remotely resembling sappy wedding traditions like these.** David had already seen me in the dress, so really it was more of  a “hi, i am marrying you in a little bit” moment. Which I loved.

E and I ended up getting Tate dressed which was another highlight of my day because she is just so loving and sweet with him. Meg had picked him out the SWEETEST little ring-bearer outfit and everyone about died when they saw him. Sidenote – isn’t my sister gorgeous? Both my sisters are so darn pretty.

And then we got married. David’s vows to me were amazing and mine were definitely sub-par comparatively. We cried because this marriage and our relationship is so freaking meaningful to us. We’ve gone through so much together so it got emosh REAL fast.

Tate’s face here killlls me

Tate and E held hands the whole time

Clobber-hugging Bekah

Afterwards

Desserts by Kelly wedding cake!

Perfect day. ♥

  • Dress: Anthropologie
  • Location: Tillamook, OR
  • Cake: Desserts by Kelly in Richland, WA (the best!)
  • Flowers: Fake
  • Makeup & Hair: Yers Truly
  • Matching Velour Scrunchies: Claire’s
  • People: The best there is
  • Husbando: My darling David

Flower Beauty Light Illusion Foundation Review

Hello little darlings.

And I don’t care who knows it!

Usually I wait until the end of a post to talk about how much I love or hate a certain product but this one’s got me singin’ from the rooftops!

If you refer back to this post, you will remember the exhaustive treasure hunt I endured for this stuff. First of all, it is ONLY sold at Ulta (not Walmart, I learned that the hard way…) and due to it’s popularity,  finding the right shade in stock was damn near impossible.

BUT I FOUND IT.  $13.99 in L2.

packaging

Glass bottle? Rose cold accents? WITH A PUMP? The packaging is makeup enthusiasts dream. What’s more, one pump dispenses a perfectly ample amount of product.

Consistency

This foundation is fairly thick. It doesn’t spread much when pumped from the bottle.

formula

I find the claims of this product to be absolutely true. The coverage is medium and is buildable. I like to apply by placing dots all over my face and blending them out with  a brush. So far, my favorite brush for this is a toothbrush style (Artis) one. It blends into the skin effortlessly and leaves a gorgeous luminosity. I have set this with just a little pressed powder and also a loose translucent powder and both work nicely. On me, it truly just looks like my skin but smoother, more luminous and without all the imperfections!

performance

Each time I see a review or video on this foundation, the biggest complaint is the longevity. Folks claim that it breaks up on them and starts looking a mess after just a few hours.

Now, keep in mind I am a dry to normal gal in her 30’s and not a 22 year-old YouTuber with perfect skin but this foundation performs LIKE A DREAM. And I have the pictures to prove it.

These pictures were taken outside in natural light after a stressful Friday at work. I had applied the foundation at 6:30 am and these photos were taken at 5:30 pm. I had been eating, sweating and running around town all day.

No filters, no nothin.

Overall

Well duh. Yes I love this foundation. Yes I will buy 23902 more bottles before they stupidly discontinue it. It looks good, wears well and costs less than $15.

go get you some.