Five Essential Items for Breakups or Divorce

**Before I begin let me state for the record that I am still in a wonderful relationship. I simply consider myself an expert on this matter and thought I should therefore share.**

Now! Let’s talk about how to go from this:

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To this!

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(Yes, the above picture of Sad Nat is genuine. I believe it is important to document both the good times and the bad.)

Being a lady of a certain age has taught me many a lesson.

– Never wear sweatpants in public unless coming or going to the gym.

– When in doubt, wear slightly over-sized sparkly stud earrings. (this applies to MANY situations)

– And lastly…There is nothing that vodka, mascara and candles from Bath & Body Works can’t solve.

So many lessons I have learned over the years have applied directly to the world of relationships. Ask my old college volleyball teammates – I almost wrote a MANUAL. I’ve been in just about every awkward, wonderful, life-changing circumstance you could imagine. Some blissful, and some have left me straight SHOOK.

N.E ways (haha remember when people spelled it that way?) I shall now pass along my years of accumulated wisdom on the subject, wrapped in a handy list!!

1.) A good pair of headphones

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Allow me to deconstruct: We’ve all had the original Apple earbuds, lost them, got a new phone and got more, lost those, etc. etc. By now you’re probably wearing  hot pink a set you spent $9.99 on while checking out at Fred Meyer. When going through a divorce…these my friends, will just not do.

You’re going to need you a solid purr a’headphones. Ones that can be turned up so loud they may or may not rupture an eardrum. You see, there will be MANY times where you need to drown things out. Sometimes it will be your own brain, other times it will be the conversation the happily married girls with 2 adorable kids are having next to you about where they’re vacationing next month. It is at times like these, you’ll be glad you have your Beats on, merrily blasting “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor”.

2.) SIA

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This black-and-white haired little lady may or may not become your BFF during this absolute sh*t time. For me, Sia was IT. Her music is SO passionate and raw. Song lyrics always seem to come alive during the darkest of days for me and Sia just really nails it time after time. If I may, I would suggest the following:

  • Elastic Heart
  • Big Girls Cry
  • Fire & Gasoline
  • I’m in Here
  • Unstoppable
  • Alive

3.) Nice under-eye concealer

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Go ahead and treat yerself to a more expensive under-eye concealer RN. Chances are sleep isn’t coming easy, crying is a daily occurrence and alcohol consumption while in the bath may be at an all time high. NO JUDGEMENT girl. You do you. But we all know that when Monday morning rolls around and your face looks like Extra No. 247 from the Walking Dead, it might be time to slap on the ol’ warpaint. After all, you are going through a war. A concealer with great coverage is going to get you so far. Here are the best ones:

  • Mac Pro Longwear Concealer
  • Nars Radiant Creamy Concealer
  • Kat Von D Lock-It
  • Maybelline Better Skin Concealer (if you’re on a budget)

4.) One or two really comfortable, yet chic pieces of clothing

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If there’s a time in your life where it’s alright to invest in a Barefoot Dreams cardigan, it’s now. For me, clothing and appearances can make or a break a day. On my best days, putting together outfits is really fun and I won’t mind wearing slightly uncomfortable things if it means I’m gonna look cute. But on the poopy days, give me a uniform of jeans, a comfy top and some flats. It is still important to look nice and take care of yourself, but there is no way a little pencil skirt and heels are happening. Buy yourself a new drapey sweater made of a better material. Splurge on a cashmere blanket scarf that you can cozy up in, anywhere you are. Nothing is more comforting, than the clothing and materials touching your body, so make sure they are good!

5.) A fun pee-chee (applicable only to divorce)

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Am I the only one left calling these pee-chees? You know, pocket folders. Whatever you call them, you’re going to need one or two in order to keep all your papes in check. There’s going to be all kinds of paperwork involved and then even MORE subsequent paperwork if you’re doing things like changing your name, adding bank accounts, editing insurance, etc. It is all very confusing, painful and takes alot of time. I found a good way to try and keep my spirits up while standing in yet another line at the social security office was to keep everything organized in a Justin Bieber pee-chee. Once I had the final documents, I moved them to a festive cupcake folder at home, covered in sprinkles. I say, why not find joy in everything during this hard time.

Other Helpful Items to Consider

  • A space heater, electric blanket or heating pad = These are especially helpful if you are a bit of a cuddler and you find yourself all alone in your bed.

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  • New sheets = Preferably a high thread count if you can, in a happy, warm color. You’ll be spending alot of time in your bed and I found it helpful to have crisp, new sheets for those 12-15 hour sleeping spells.

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  • Candy = ‘Nuff said.

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  • Subscriptions to Netflix, Hulu and/or the like = Try to steer clear of rom coms and instead opt for hits such as “The Killing”, “The Fall” and “American Horror Story” to keep your mind occupied.

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  • Bath and Body Works Candles = As noted above, there’s not much one of these cannot solve. They fill up the whole room with fragrance and no matter what your taste, there’s a scent out there for you. May I suggest however, Marshmallow Fireside for the Winter and Summer Boardwalk for the summer.

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Beach Fun, Christmasing and The Yoga Challenge

Well hi and-a-ho there!

Thanksgiving has come and gone and I can finally admit to y’all that I put my tree up on November 15. And while we’re sharing, I’ve also been listening to Mare Care’s Christmas album since the  night of Halloween. #sothere

This year, putting up the tree was extra fun for two reasons. I had E helping me, and we while we were decorating, we watched Pollyanna. 10 points to Gryffindor if you remember that movie!

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E did an amazing job of decorating and loading one area up with 4-5 ornaments respectively. The girl has taste, man.

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A couple weekends ago, the three of us (well, four if you count Meira) headed to Cannon Beach for a night and lucked out with gorgeous weather.

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We walked around all the shops, bought salt-water taffy and of course spent some time on the beach. We even had a little park next to our hotel and David decided to go on the swings with Meira and my heart melted.

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Also there were randomly, dozens of bunnies around our hotel. I KNOW. Kindof funny right? It was hard not to be mildly obsessed with them.

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The next week, E and I organized a smashing evening of Barbies and Hello Kitty. I tell ya, this kid knows the way to my heart.

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POOL PARTY! (clothes optional)

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I’ve also been enjoying my share of holiday libations, including this delicious mimosa! David apparently found my mimosa and lack of makeup hilar.

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And my favorite, vodka + fresca while watching American Horror Story, enjoyed in our bathtub which I am too big for.

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In other news, I hit up the Pacifica Holiday Warehouse Sale!!

It started at noon on a Friday and I arrived about 5 minutes early to this line:

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It was laughing at the ONE DUDE (trying to be incognito) who probs lost a bet with his wife and had to come to this event. Other than him, it was mostly all adult, pre-menopausal women.

I also had a nice chuckle at the unfortunate mis-spelling of this sign:

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I had to wait maybe 15 minutes to go in and yeah, things were fairly cheap. Not like, dirt cheap but you know, $5 for a candle.

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Soooooo much tinted chapstick

Fast forward to last weekend which was of course, Thanksgiving. I was so busy that day, I literally didn’t even think to whip out my phone for any pics. Fun fact about that morning: I got my hair done at 8:30 am and it looks AMAZING. I love it.

The day after to my own dismay, I did NOT participate in Black Friday. I opted to be a Cyber Monday gal this year and shockingly, I found it to be quite relaxing…who knew!? We did venture east to the Tri so we could spend a little time with the Danielson bunch. And of course, I was chomping at the bit to see my sweet baby Tate.

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Who btw is (no big deal) WALKING. His tiny baby body somehow just propels itself around earth and my heart cannot deal with this fact.

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I srsly kissed this face about a million times and he only hated about half of them.

Then I drank 3 glasses of wine before dinner and decided to try my hand at something I’ve been seeing around YouTube for a while…

THE YOGA CHALLENGE!

Basically, you just google “couples yoga poses” and try to do them. It is not only a legit workout, but incredibly funny.

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David’s face says it all…

Merrrrrrrrrrrrrrry Christmas everyone!

My 2016 Christmas List

Gerd yer loins.
My 2016 Christmas List is here!
My 2016 Christmas List

 

If interested, here are the details surrounding my choices.
Adidas Shoes:
Basic as they are, I am a ride-or-die lover of white tennies. I love my white Chuck Taylor’s (ala Benny Rodriguez), my Sperry canvas sneakers and of course all m’Vans. And since I live in the city that is home to Nike and Adidas HQ, I figure I may as well pay homage.
 
Tory Burch Backpack:
Similar to my feelings about white sneakers, I love backpacks. They keep your hands free, are a cinch to commute with and best of all, don’t wreak havoc on my shoulders! Can I get an amen for even weight distribution!? And since I hardly carry purses anymore (see above mentioned note on commuter status) I feel I need this one to stay chic.
Little Twin Stars Backpack:
What would I be, if I wasn’t honest about my 12-year-old taste in accessories? YES. I looooove me some Sanrio! Little Twin Stars man. I can’t help myself. I saw a girl wearing this backpack at Universal Studios and she told me it was Loungefly. Probs a brand for sweaty teens, but whatevs. I WANT IT SO BAD.
Sephora Set:
This set is SUCH a deal. You get several full-size products, several of which, I would love to try. It is pricey at $75 but the contents are easily worth double that.
Mac Velvet Teddy Lipstick:
I just ran out of my beloved Creme Cup by Mac and sister Megan is insisting I try this. So there you go.
Abercrombie 8 Perfume:
In keeping with the 12-year old girl theme…I smelled this perfume on a recent trip to the ol’ A&F when I was desperate to find some black distressed jeans. Total blast from the past in the best way! I really am fond of the way this smells and the fact that it makes me feel like a girl of 22 again.
Lush Snow Fairy Set:
Its no secret that I LOVE Lush and this set comes with the (new to me) Snow Fairy Body Conditioner! Oh lord this would be heavenly!!
S Factor Shampoo + Conditioner Set:
I have always been a fan of the way this line smells. But really, I just need more high-end stuff as I know my hair responds better when I don’t douse it in Pantene….
YSL Mon Paris Perfume:
Confession: I have been going in Sephora for the past few months JUST to put this perfume on. Each time I do, I get stopped on the street by people asking me what I am wearing. This perfume is sweet, feminine and packs a punch you guys.

Love is Actually All Around

With the Holiday season upon us and the atrocious election behind us, I am left feeling…well, happy🙂.

And loved. And in love.

So what better way to title this post than with a quote from arguably THEEEE best Christmas movie of all time?!

Here are some things that invoke all the loveliness there is:

Handwritten Notes:

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As someone who loves to write, I have always appreciated the gesture of a handwritten note or letter. David’s daughter is in that stage where she is learning to write and of course, she is coloring up the wazoo so I get plenty of adorable pictures from her. And then there’s the sweet notes I am surprised with from David…HOW DID I GET SO LUCKY!?

My baby nephew Taterbug:

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Nobody could possibly love this human more than me. Tate has learned to sign “please” recently and both Nan and Meg have yet to get it on camera. He is also WALKING NOW and I could literally die. My Mom gets to watch him in the AM each day while Meg is at work and I get very jealous. I want to squeeze him and kiss him and bite his cheeks and hold him forever.

In-Town Family!

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Being away from my family is really hard for me. Nan, Gare, Meg, Bin, Taterbug, Amy, Shannon — I miss them all so much and it is SO great that David’s family is close by. We get to see them all the time and everyone is so awesome. P.S I made the above pictured lasagna and people had seconds. #justsayin

Accidental cool hair styles I make up:

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Nothing is better than a nice thrown-together hairstyle on dirty hair AMIRIGHT!? I fashioned this little dazzler one afternoon and was very pleased that I attained it using only 3 bobby pins. If you’re interested in a tutorial, do let me know.

These healthy frozen food choices at Walmart:

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Hahahhaa. ‘murica right? The Twinkies sound disgusting but the Doritos…yeah I might give ’em a whirl.

Fresh flowers:

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David and E brought these home last weekend and they have been so lovely to look at everyday. If I had all the money, I would have fresh flowers at my house all. the. time. Also plenty of razor cartridges and things from Lush.

Running

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I have a love-hate relationship with running. At one time in m’life, running was not such a good thing for me. I got hooked on it and heaped loads of guilt on myself for not running far enough, fast enough or for long enough. What started as a good way to blow off steam, or decompress quickly became an unhealthy obsession. So for years now, I have tucked away my running shoes and really haven’t done much of anything in the way of consistent exercise. Bayd.

But over the past few months, running has come back into my life in the best way possible. Working downtown Portland has afforded me the chance to run along the waterfront on all kinds of great little loops. I also have a running pal at work who takes it about as seriously as I do…We run at a slow, leisurely pace and stop when we need to. Typically, we do 2-3 mile loops and take breaks as needed. When I run alone, I have gradually been getting faster and usually don’t run anymore than 4-5 miles. If I can get out 3 times a week I am happy with myself. Running has once again become my favorite outlet for stress release, alone time and my time to blast Drake🙂

What has made YOU happy lately?

Lately: Books I’ve Read

It’s been a while since I’ve done an update of the books I’ve read. Like, a WHILE.

As y’all know, I love to read and can pretty much devour any book that’s put in front of me…well, maybe except like Mein Kampf, or War and Peace. But that’s neither here nor there.

Here is what I’ve read as of late:

All the Light We Cannot See by Anthony Doerr

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For awhile, I was on a kick of WW2 historical fiction which is what drew me to this book. I REALLY liked this one. The author goes between two different stories that end up weaving together. Both of the main characters begin as children and both of their stores are so fascinating. I highly recommend this book if you are into historical fiction!

Life from Scratch by Melissa Ford

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I read this because I think it was $5.99 on my Kindle and I wanted something totally mindless. I also tend to love books about food or cooking (go fig). This was kindof a romantic-comedy in book form and focused on a divorcee (another reason it resonated with me) who blogs about cooking. It was a fun, easy read.

The Chaperone by Laura Moriarty

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I love books set in the 20’s! This one is about a woman who chaperones a young actress/dancer from her hometown for the summer. It isn’t the most thrilling book of all time, but I thoroughly enjoyed it and especially loved the time period.

The Girl on the Train by Paula Hawkins

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Obviously I read this. The SECOND that movie preview came out, I knew I wanted to read the book. Similar to Gone Girl, this book was thrilling and sexy (ooooh sexy) and scary. The main character was definitely someone you feel sorry for and honestly I think Emily Blunt was a bit too regal to play her in the movie. Much to my chagrin, I have not yet seen the movie! But I will. Anyway, if you want a seriously engulfing book that will keep your attention all the way through, read this!

All the Missing Girls by Megan Miranda

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I found this book on the Barnes & Noble site after researching “books similar to Girl on the Train”. Haha I am so predictable. Anyway, this was NOTHING like Girl on the Train. It was much more slow-moving and the timeline went backwards. At first I kindof hated that it was working backwards but then I grew to like it. I ended up finding it pretty good…not great.

Fall Skincare Routine

Is it really November already?!

So I guess it’s time to start Christmas shopping, writing down which movies will be on the 21 Days of Christmas in my day planner and of course – trying to hold off on putting up the tree for as long as possible. I have already admitted to myself that I can’t wait until after Thanksgiving so it’s just a matter of which weekend in November it’s going to be.

And this year, I get to celebrate my first Chrismakah since David is Jewish! I am SO excited. I already ordered a throw pillow that says “Happy Challah Days!”. #mazeltov

But with the super cold temps, Balsam Fir Yankee Candles and abundance of cozy socks stuffed down at the bottom of the bed – I also must load up on the skin currrr. So let’s talk about THAT.

To start – I have been using (and loving) the Peaches and Clean Cleansing Milk from Soap & Glory. I take a couple pumps on the tips of my fingers and massage into dry skin. This stuff breaks up all the makeup, dirt and oil and then I rinse it off with warm water.

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To tone – I have been alternating between the Mardio Badescu Rosewater & Herbs Facial Spray (a long-time favorite) and the SK-II Facial Essence, which came in a recent Influenster Vox Box.

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To hydrate – I have been using the L’Oreal Revitalift Serum to start. Once that has been absorbed into the skin, I follow up with the night cream. I have been pretty impressed with the Revitalift line and would definitely recommend it, esp for the price point.

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For eyes – Believe it or not, sometimes when I am lazy I will dab on some of this (AMAZING) Treat Jumbo Lip Balm in Confetti Cake. This stuff is made with mostly coconut oil, as well as a few other all-natural organic ingredients. I would really just rub it all over my body if it were big enough! Other than that, I use the Sephora  Total Age Defy for Eyes and Lips which I really like as well.

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For lashes – If you remember my beauty hacks post, I talked about how great castor oil is as a “lash conditioner”. I still use this stuff on my lashes and still absolutely love it.

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For lips – If I am not using the Treat lip balm, I am definitely reaching for this one I discovered in France! The Nuxe Reve De Miel Ultra‑Nourishing Lip Balm is made with honey and other great things and is SUPER moisturizing.

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And lastly for masks – I just posted a couple of my favorites, click here to check them out!

Halloween 2016

Hello goblins and ghouls!

Hope everyone had a wonderful Halloween this year…I know I did. You see, when you’re with someone who likes getting dressed up just as much as you – you dress the F up.

This year, we were invited to an awesome costume party by my pal Kelly a couple weeks ago and we decided to pay homage to our favorite scene from G.O.T this last season – the walk of shame.

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If anyone out there is a fan of the show – you know how crazy this scene was. We decided David would make the perfect “high sparrow” nun-lady, and I could definitely pull off the evil Cersei. You’ll also know that for the scene to be truly authentic, I would have had to be buck naked. And I was eager to take on that challenge. Not by actually being naked but by attaining a nakedy look. I searched everywhere for a nude bodysuit to no avail and realized I would either have to go the American Apparel route or have to take to the internets. A Capezio nude women’s jumpsuit was running upwards of $30 online and truly, I just didn’t want to commit.

So sadly, I tried to create the best representation of the character that I possibly could, evidenced below. David on the other hand, absolutely KILLED the nun lady. I mean…

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And in case anyone is curious, I really was the ugliest human alive that night…

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ITS CALLED DEDICATION

If you’re curious, the wig was a “surfer boy” wig from Spirit Halloween, which I happily hacked away at.

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For Halloween weekend, we decided to do a little light bar-hopping with some friends. And after the season 7 premiere of the Walking Dead, where I did in fact cry 2 buckets of tears, David decided he wanted to be….

NEGAN

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His portrayal is spot-on and quite literally, very disturbing. For any TWD fans out there, this will send chills up your spine.

To compliment David’s Negan, I really wanted to be Rick – but since I already had the zombie dress from last year – I decided to just do that again.

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This year I found a zombie makeup look I really liked and did a slightly glammy zombie girl.

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If anyone is interested in a tutorial on this – just let me know!

Here was the look I was inspired by:

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I wish I had the contact lenses!

So, there you have it. Another Halloween in the books. What were you for Halloween??