Unemployed

May 13, 20147 Comments

Oh yes.

I just had my last day of work and well, it felt odd. Odd because I will miss all the great people I got to work with. Odd because I no longer am required to wear pants everyday. And odd how I feel an enormous weight suddenly lifted from my shoulders.

No more house to maintain/pay for.

No more job to go to.

No more 40 min commute each way.

And in only one month, no more god-forsaken CFA.

Bryan takes his exam in just under one month and I cannot wait to bid a resounding adieu to this mother-effin 3-year chapter of our lives. Anyone who has gotten a masters, passed the MCAT, or made it through Breaking Bad can sympathize with us, here. It sucks. It is all-consuming, insanely frustrating and means tough sacrifices in every other avenue of your life.

But it’s almost over. And the day when he gets that little email in August and finally gets to insert those three blessed letters after his name, I will ~~drink 4 gimlets~~ breathe a HUGE sigh of relief.

And I’m not even the one taking the exam! Until then, I will continue my routine of making him sub-par dinners, showering him with atta-boys and trying to keep the volume down when I watch Scandal.

I may also be able to start actually enjoying this crazy process of planning my wedding. And lemme tell ya, if it weren’t for my mom, sister Megan and our friend Barbara, this wedding would literally be me and Bryan sitting at a picnic table with a couple pigs in a blanket and a 30 bomb of Bud Light.

Maybe drivin around in this? MAMA WANT.

It’s time to start buying matching bridesmaid bathrobes and embroidering sappy messages on hankies for our moms. It’s time to assemble a reception playlist which will include one or all of the following:

My Humps by the Black Eyed Peas
Happy by Pharell
Africa by Toto
Hold On by Wilson Phillips

YAASSSS.

What else will being unemployed bring? Time for organizing my candle collection, perhaps? Hopefully gourmet-ish meals for Bry and I, an impeccably kept home and careful life reflection. More likely though, it will include watching Ellen on the daily, “yoga” in the living room wearing pajamas and starting happy hour at noon.

What would you do if you were me? Lemme know.

Happenings

May 10, 2014May 8, 20141 Comment

(arithmetic edition)

At the end of my work days, I have noticed terrible things trending on my face. Like, ALL my eyemakeup is under my eyes. Mascara AND eyeshadow. Also usually my eyebrows are all brushed down. You know the perma-frown? So usually I beat my head on the steering wheel, repeating “stupid, stupid, stupid.” Is it the warming weather? The lunchtime ~~yogs~~ sweatfests? Whatever the case, girlfriend needs some help. In the form of a mild waterproof mascara and eyeshadow primer. And my coworkers are nice and don’t say a peep to me about my HORRIFIC panda eyes. They’re so polite!

I look for babies on the daily at petfinder.com. And up comes hundreds that all need me. It is pure torture – I want them ALL. And Bry says we can’t get one until the CFA is over so that means only another month or so! Is it weird that I already want it to be our flower girl? Another prerequisite for said pooch is that it has to be okay with actual human babies, just in case I happen to give birth to one. Which SUCKS because most of the chi pups “do well with kids over 13”. POOP. I just want a 4 lb chihuahua with excellent temperament, who will lay sweetly in the crib with my future baby. And I’ll snap pictures of them wearing pearls together. Is that too much to ask?

I have 2 gift cards to Ulta and I am dyyyying. I cannot decide what to get. Here are the possibilities:

Bye Bye Undereye in Light
Urban Decay All Nighter Setting Spray (this would be a boring re-purchase)
Too Faced Lip Injection
Hello Flawless! powder (it’s so perfect)
A bunch of drugstore stuff

Guys, I am selling Cliff. It’s truly the end of an era. I have driven him since HIGH SCHOOL. Don’t laugh. Anyway, my Dad said he wanted him and then decided against it when my little sister bought a new car and abandoned her champagne Camry (no name). So now Cliff is going to be sold and it makes me a little sad. Again, don’t laugh. Also, since I have been sans Cliff these days, I have been driving Bry’s Jeep. I have all the bells and whistles now. A working CD player, defrost and ALL the doors lock and unlock. It is a privileged life I lead. Yesterday I blasted the Garden State Soundtrack like it was 2004 and felt SO cool.

My Bridal Shower

May 8, 201423 Comments

Hey Rumplestilskens!

Such a scary little man, Mr. Stilsken. But whatevs, it’s fun to say!

Last weekend was my first ever wedding shower. And what a shower it was. Sister Meg and my mom hit it outta the mothereffin ball-park. The affair was SO completely perfect and wonderful, that I didn’t want it to end. Seriously. Which is probably why at least 50% of the guests left half way through me opening presents…oops.

Anywho! On to the fun.

I got into the Tri and immediately went to a nail place so they could saw off my dead skin and polish my toes. I walked in and there were like 7,432 people there so I said “how long for a pedicure?” “Five miiih!” said the woman. “You pick color!”

I chose Flip-Flop Fantasy from China Glaze (duh) and settled into the chair. 25 minutes later, someone started my pedi. 5 miiih later my ASS. Oh well. I paid and tipped like a good person and then went home to start the agonizing process of getting myself ready.

1.75 hours later and I had my extensions clipped in, crazy eyelashes on and waaaay too high of wedges strapped to my feet.

Could you just DIE over how well these ‘stensions match my hurr?

Then I went upstairs and GASPED.

IT. WAS. BEEEEEEEEAUTIFUL.

First, we sat down to the most adorable “tea” luncheon ever in existence. I say tea with air quotes because while there were mis-matched teacups adorning the table, no actual tea was served. We Danielsons like to stick purely to our Crystal Lights and alcoholic bevs. Finger sandwiches, caprese bites, my aunt’s famous boyos and delicious mini-quiches were among the delicacies beautifully displayed on delicate tea stands. The cuteness was overwhelmingly faultless.

Knowing it was all for me was tough. I tried to quell any sarcastic or self-deprecating comments which usually escape my mouth when I feel awkward or un-deserving of something. It just felt so funny to have this beautiful party…for me. Like, it’s me. The girl who gets lost going to QFC and has dirty feet. The girl who ATTENDS these parties, not the one who is celebrated.

After eating, we played games. And SHUT UP if you hate games at showers. Games are the best part, especially the poopy diaper game at baby showers, that one’s the best. First we played a trivia game all about marriage, I scored a 3/15 so basically- sh*t, I’m doomed. Next, we played the “guess the celebrity couple game” – where we stared at large pictures of our fave celebs (faces blacked-out) and tried to guess their identities.

There were some REAL throwbacks, like Jessica Simps and Nick Lachey. Man, those were the days amiright!?

After that, Megan read off some questions that she had emailed Bryan and I had to guess his answer. For every wrong answer I had to chew a piece of gum. It started out great and I was NAILING IT. Then the tougher questions came and the wad grew larger and larger. I drooled. I did.

Then we had dessert! My sister Ray-Ray made the cupcakes and per usual, they were completely delectable and perfect. I mean, just feast your eyes.

There were also jelly beans, jordan almonds, petite-fours, coconut macarons, mini berry tarts, dutch mints AND these raspberry swirl sugar-coated things. I had everything, obvs.

Then we opened gifts which is really the only thing I was looking forward to (I KID. I kid) I got the best things ever in the world and everyone is too nice to me and I just felt like getting down and washing everyone’s feet like Jesus. I was that grateful.

After that, sister Amy PTFO and went into her room and locked the door to take a nap and I didn’t see her for 16 hours.

Then my good friend Graham came over and he brought wine and we caught up on tour jetés (he’s a real live dancer. like classically trained and sh*t) and talked about high school.

Then we went to dinner at Bookwalter with Bryan’s parents and I had flatbread. It was amazing food and wine and I LOVE that our parents get along so well. I wish we were all next door neighbors (no, I really do).

And that was that!

Happenings

March 25, 2014April 1, 20147 Comments

Last weekend, my mom and sister came for a visit. I took a half day off work Friday so we could gallivant around the city, try on mini-hats at Joann Fabrics and drink “skinny” margaritas that necessitated Splenda packets. Really, the goal was to knock a few items off the ol’ wedding to-do list and have a little fun while doing so. We scoured the city for a perfect off-the-rack blush toned bridesmaids dress for Megan. Turns out, it doesn’t exist. We pissed off the girl manning the Nordstrom Rack dressing room by bringing additional items into the stall after the initial batch. Literally, I thought she was going to kill me, even though I was SUPER smiley. GOSH. We bought discount fashions at H&M and I made friends with the cashier at Love Culture (a shop for girls 10 years my junior). I was toting my Tory Burch around all proud and sh*t and the cashier girl was like, “My Mom wants one of those Tory Burch purses.” So I guess I’m a Mom now and have NO business shopping at places like Love Culture. Anyway, here is what I got:

Every time I go to the MAC counter I inevitably end up swatching the lipsticks. You see, I am relentless in my search for beautiful lipsticks and the Cremesheen formula at MAC has me hooked. So, while Megan was trying on 73093 pairs of shoes at Nordstrom, I decided to make good use of my time by doing the same with lipstick. As I surveyed the rows of pinkish hues, a beautiful bright shade caught my eye – Sunny Seoul. Anyone else have this shade? I tried ‘er on and after showing Nan, she said, “That shade actually looks really pretty on you!” Like WTF Nan!? So all the other lip colors I wear are hideous? So of course, I bought it and I CAN’T STOP wearing it. I do notice it feathers/bleeds a bit so I may have to invest in a coordinating pencil, or that NYX Wonderpencil or something.

Like the patch of self-tan I missed?

On me

Bryan and I are watching the 7th season of Dexter and here are my thoughts thus far… Thank GOD LaGuerta and Angel got divorced, that was one gross couple. Plus, I couldn’t stand the way LaGuerta said Angel like “Ahnhel”. Deb (Jennifer Carpenter) looks more like an alien than ever. The story is going crazy since Deb found out Dexter is a serial killer and I can’t decide if I hate that she knows. Also, the babysitter? She dresses like a common hooker but is supposed to be this good girl? I don’t get it. Also, I am dreading the series finale because I hear it is terrible. And I just realized that I have said nothing nice about this show. Oh well.

Source

Also, I randomly sprayed this stuff on my skin at Macy’s and am now obsessed and need 40 gallons.

Andthatisall.

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What We Did Last Weekend

March 18, 2014March 18, 20148 Comments

Hellllo my cotton candy Jelly Bellys!

So, last weekend was kindof a doozie.

Friday I found a pair of wedding shoe candidates at DSW and texted my casual friday OOTD to Megan per usual.

After work, I did not feel like cooking. But then again, I never do. So, we decided to try out North Bend Bar & Grill which is not far from us. Anytime we go out for dinner, I turn into a 12 year old girl on the night of 8th Grade Celebration. I get all excited and want to dress up. So I did (well, dressed up for me).

Kate Spade lipstick in Parisian Pink (a gift from Ray-Ray!)

We arrived to patrons donning Looney Tunes lettermans jackets and women in banana clips. My wine came in a water goblet and was massively over-poured. YASSSS. Bry had a burger and I chose the panzenella. Both were great and we will definitely be back, but I will probably wear a North Face fleece.

We got froyo on the way home and I went insane on the toppings. At home, we switched on a movie and I fell asleep halfway through my pistachio with a chunk of Heath on my lip. ‘Ttractive.

Saturday morning was glorious. As is the case with all Saturday mornings. I finished this book and wasn’t thrilled with the ending.

As some of you may know, Bryan is prepping for CFA III. His third and final exam to become a bone-a-fyed Chartered Financial Analyst. This is the big leagues here guys. The CFA is to Finance as Dumbledore is to wizardry. Or as Miley Cyrus is to buttcheeks.

Wait.

An academic, I am not. So while Bryan busted his behind, clocking hours upon hours watching classroom videos and doing practice tests, I put makeup on. Another kind of studying.

I got Bryan to help me move my vanity back into my new freshly painted lady room. I hung up pastel fairy lights and channeled all the YouTubers I love as I buffed 75 different eyeshadows on to my lids. As evidenced here:

Notice the new white walls??!

After a good chunk of studying, Bryan decided that he wanted to make fish tacos for dinner. I said sure as long as I didn’t have to handle the fish. So we went to the Q and filled our basket with raw fish, tequila and Cholula. Then we came home and Bry mixed up margaritas. You guys. Bryan makes the most PERFECT margarita ever. Of all time. Plus infinity.

Then we decided to have a wedding-update convo whilst buzzing in the late afternoon. It went something like this:

Natalie: “If we have any wedding money leftover after everything is paid for, I want to book a videographer.”
Bryan: “I don’t want a video of our wedding! Who cares??”
Natalie: “Don’t you care about having a video of our wedding we can show our kids someday and watch each year on our anniversary?!”
Bryan: “Our kids won’t want to see that.”

Haahahahaaaa.

Then we had dinner and watched another movie and I fell asleep at 8 PM.

In a word, Sunday was odd. In a good way. We started saying, “Sunday? Funday!”. GOD we are such nerds and not in a good way. Things started out innocently enough. Bry began his studying regime while I holed up in bed with coffee and Dexter (the show, not another man named Dexter).

Then we went to the gym where I halfheartedly ellipticaled through a couple episodes of this new peach of a show:

Then we came home, had sandwiches and Bryan started making margaritas again…

And then we were day drunk 🙂

We blasted gangster rap on the Bose, clinked glasses and basked in the glory of being childless 30-somethings. *Yes, we realize that as soon as we have a child, these days are O-V-E-R. We are trying to take advantage now.

A little while later, we took shots.

I don’t know.

After the haziness faded a bit, I decided it was time to go shopping at the outlet mall. I had two extra 40% coupons for Gap and Banana that were burnin a whole in my pocket. The odds of getting Bryan to agree to a shopping trip with me are about 10,243 to 1 so I was surprised when he said it sounded like fun.

Andiworethisshirt

We both got a few new things and I got a cardigan at Banana for $4.30. No big deal.

After the shopping, I figured we’d make our way home. When Bryan missed the turn for our house I knew our Sunday Funday was not over. He made a few turns and before I knew it, the neon Snoqulamie Casino sign was slowly coming into focus.

Oh law.

Bryan is so cute and I look like Sloth from The Goonies

The place was buzzing. Why. WHY may I ask was a random casino SO packed on a Sunday at 5 o’clock? We entered the casino and I knew I wouldn’t last long…you see, it’s a smoking facility. Bryan went to go see if they had our ol’ standby, video blackjack – while I made my way through the ~~mullets~~ crowd to find the bathroom.

And this is when I found the crown jewel of the Snoqualmie Casino.

THE TOILETS

A fresh piece of plastic just for me!? I wanted to talk to the other women in the bathroom about it. “Did you see the toilet seats!? So cool!!”. But I didn’t. Instead, I went to the bar where I hoped Bryan was feeling the same way I was about having smoke blown in my face by a man wearing a Margaritaville tee shirt 2 sizes too small.

We decided on one drink and one slot machine.

I DON’T understand the appeal of slot machines. It’s like a reverse ATM. There’s not even a cool handle anymore. You just press a button and it takes your money. We lost $10 and I couldn’t take it anymore. END THE MADNESS, I declared.

Kathy ROCKS

We went home and threw our clothes in the washing machine (circa 2005 when we all did this after a night at the bars). And Bryan made us his amazing pizza and we turned on Rush Hour. I promptly fell asleep at 7:30 PM on the couch. Clearly tuckered out from Sunday Funday.

What will next weekend hold?! Cosmic bowling? A trip to Ikea? You just never know with us.

Beauty Scenario Tag

March 14, 20142 Comments

Hello my looooves!

Big internet hugs to Heather, from Coconut & Cotton for tagging me! This one’s gonna be a hoot.

1. You have to get rid of all your foundations and you can only keep one high end and one drugstore, which do you keep?

For the sake of “the tag” let’s just say I currently have all my favorite foundations right now. I would EASILY keep the Makeup Forever HD Foundation in shade 118 and L’Oreal True Match Lumi in Soft Ivory.

2. You go for an interview and the lady interviewing you has lipstick on her teeth. Do you approach the subject or ignore it completely?

IGNORE. All. The. Way. Don’t know about you, but when someone tells me “you have lipstick on your teeth/mascara on your eyelid/etc.” and then I go look in the mirror and it’s like one minuscule speck of misplaced color, I’m like OK, YOU IDIOT. I mean, for God’s sake, TELL ME if there’s like an enormous bat in the cave – but one little lipstick smudge? Keep that sh*t to yo’self.

3. You’re not feeling yourself and need a pick me up. Which lipstick do you put on to make yourself feel beautiful?

Most def MAC Viva Glam Gaga in Shade 1. The blue undertones make my teeth look white and it’s perfect.

4. You go back in time for a day to your teenage years, how would you do your hair and makeup differently?

First, I would have bought my self a right-fine push-up bra and shimmied to all my classes. Then, I would have refrained from the use of butterfly clips and shimmery pastel eyeshadows to match my baby tees. I would slap myself for being besties with the tanning bed and make myself wear actual lipstick. Not Bonne Bell rollerballs.

hahaa so ridic

5. You ask your hairdresser for a shoulder length Pixie Lott hair cut, but they hear wrong and give you a pixi cut. Do you a) Smile, say thank you, leave and call your mom hysterical b) Cry in the chair and things get awkward or c) Complain to the manager and demand a refund.

I would just commit murder, plain and simple. Or arson. My Ernie-shaped face could NOT handle a pixi. In reality, I would pick A. Then I would get extensions.

mfapi-184.106.135.188-MIX9ebd7449cc323f83d2da5fe5bb32350a--

Hahahhaaaa (Me as NeNe)

mfapi-184.106.135.188-MIX826cf12481c617bc657831762cbaf3bd--

Just, yes.

6. Your friend surprises you with a 4 day city break and you have 1 hour to pack. Which ‘do it all’ palette do you pack in your makeup bag?

What a great friend I have! I don’t own a palette with everything, but I would probably grab my Too Faced compact which contains a blush and two eye shadow colors. Kinda like the one in this set:

One of the shadows can also double as a highlighter, then all I really need is mascara and concealer. And eyeliner. And lipstick. Crap.

7. Your house has been robbed, don’t worry everyone is safe, but your beauty stash has been raided. What’s the product you really hope is safe?

Blimey! My Naked 3 palette, my Nars eyeliner and my MAC Viva Glam Gaga 1 (because it was limited edish).

8. Your friend borrows your makeup and returns it in awful condition. Do you a) Just pretend you haven’t noticed b) Ask them to repurchase it or c) Secretly do the same to something of theirs?

I don’t have any friends as makeup obsessed as me. My sister is though. And since we are sisters I would definitely call her out. So I guess B or C. Hahaa. She is DEFINITELY the more careful one, so it would probably me that would ruin it.

Happenings

March 12, 20142 Comments

Random stories from my life:

Recently, I have gone into the city TWICE for dinners with Bryan. I always feel so grown-up and jet-setting, when I drive into the city for dinner. I like to think that it’s no big deal. I imagine myself a spontaneous, totally together woman who weaves in and out of traffic, tossing my perfectly coiffed hair and listening to french hip-hop. Sadly, that’s not the case with me. I am only willing to brave such journeys at the promise of champagne, a good meal and ALWAYS the ballet. Last time, it was Place Pigalle. A french restaurant tucked away in Pike Place Market which has become a favorite of Bryan and I’s.We shared some delicious food, drank our bubbles and even ordered dessert, a rare but welcome occurrence.

New tights!

Champagne and creme brulee!

Another weekend, we met our friends Lacey and Danny for cocktails at Lot. 3 in Bellevue. We arrived at 4:30 and the hostess was like, “we can seat you but the table needs to be available by 7:30 for a reservation”. In all my years in food service, I have not encountered such a request. But whatevs, we sat down and thought for sure 3 hours would be enough time. But, as drinks with these two go, we were basically planted there. They did make us get up and move to the bar at 7:30 which I did with only a modicum of contempt. Obvs it didn’t stop our party and canijustsay, I love a couple who knows how to GET DOWN. An unexpected round of tequila shots? Hear, hear! These guys always bless us with such great conversation, its easy to lose track of time.

PB&J + Bacon Slider = perfection

My parents bought me a cute little vanity for Christmas. I opened the enormous box on my birthday and squealed with delight. But then. It was broken, so we sent ‘er back. A million years later, the replacement arrived. No directions. No screws. No vanity stool as pictured. The mirror needed to be attached somehow to the table and we did not own power tools. POOP. My mom was in cahoots with the owner so she asked him to please send us directions, screws and the stool. 82198 days later, the stool arrived and then there was the matter of procuring a power drill. MY LIFE. The predicament ended happily, with Bryan successfully screwing the mirror to the base with our newly-purched Ryobi drill. We were both sweating and kindof mad at no one in particular but we did it. And behold! HEADQUARTERS:

So happy and so scraggly

Also, we painted the walls of the bedroom pictured above. More appropriately known as “the ladies quarters”, this room is where I have been doing my makeup. The AWFUL blue color HAD to go, it was so unsettling! So, one weekend I got all motivated and went to Home Depot, picked out a color and that was that. 3 days later I had a perfectly “cottage white” room. YES, it took me 3 days. Multiple coats and ceiling touch-ups were needed. I’m such a homeowner right now!

e1ddaac3-0456-409e-8e75-2711a0d82f5c_300

BEHR Cottage White

And here is how it looks on the walls:

Definitely NOT our house 😦

Upcoming excitements include:

spray painting an old nightstand
mom and megan coming in two weeks to do wedding things!
the bag of original goldfish crackers in my desk

That is all.