Never a bride.

In just a few, err…um cough-thirteen-cough months this statement will no longer be true. I will be the bride. But for now, I can beg for sympathy and attention since I will be bridesmaiding at sister Megan’s upcoming nuptials.

While I have bridesmaided before, this will be my first MOH experience. For you acronym illiterates, I will be the maid of honor. The right-hand-woman, the speech-nailer, the wiper of  tears – the dancing ENFORCER.  I take my duty seriously and aim to be the best I can be, much like the army or marines or whatever.

First things first, we needed to find the bridesmaid attire.  With Megan being fabulously unconventional and fashion-minded we quickly opted out of the typical experience at a run-o-the-mill bridesmaid dress store.   One reason being that we have 3 bridesmaids with 3 very different styles and also the fact that none of us felt like paying $300 for a satin monstrosity in some hideous hue with matching Dyeables brand shoes.  Do people still dye their shoes to match the dress? Oy vey!

However, locating a garment with specific coloring, silhouette and length proved to be quite taxing.  Hours upon hours of internet-browsing, phone calls, angry texts and unavailing appointments were logged and many glasses of wine were consumed.  So, I decided to make the pilgrammage over to the Tri last weekend and put this dress-baby to rest.

I arrived in Kennewick on Friday evening around 5:30 and it was gloriously warm.  Pulling into the driveway at my parents house and stretching my legs after the 3.5 hour drive was made even more amazing by taking in the familiar smell of the spring air. I was fed taco salad, local white wine and a healthy dose of good ol’ fashion Danielson gossip.  My sisters Meg and Rachel J and I made a plan to visit a couple of stores the next day, having seen a few new spring dresses pop up on the internets.

The next morning I made coffee and cuddled with Chloe McDoogal, our ill-tempered chihuahua whom I love more than anything.

 I did my makeup real nice and then took a picture of myself in the main bathroom. #totallynormalforme

Oh, and I got new makeup brushes. I heart them.

First stop: David’s Bridal (no judgements, please).

Megan refers to David’s Bridal as the “Wal-Mart of bridal stores”.  I didn’t believe her until I stepped foot inside and was greeted by, well…The People of Wal-Mart.   We made a bee-line for the rack we came for as I wove my way through the sea of carnies (harsh).  Recently, Vera Wang designed a line for David’s Bridal and the photos online looked quite pretty and not so bridesmaidy.  Here are the dresses I tried on:

It actually turned out to be a fun experience because the gals who worked there were very sweet and helpful.  The crowd thinned out a little and the carnies that remained were all pretty fun. They were fun carnies.  We spent a couple of hours trying on, re-trying on and then needed sustenance.  After a quick lunch at Twigs (love that place) we shopped around Macy’s and came out empty-handed.   We did make it into BBW where I secured an adorned wall flower plug-in for Nan’s new kitchen.

We decided to try the other 2 bridal/bridesmaid stores in Kennewick, namely Amy’s Bridal and The Purple Parasol.  Amy’s Bridal is a very cute little shop and the owner is super nice. Also, it is right next to Bruchi’s which just happens to be delicious. I found 2 bridal gowns that I have torn out of magazine’s and inserted into my wedding binder but alas, no bridesmaid dress caught our eye. So, we did what anyone would do.  Headed across the street to MyFroYo to drown ourselves in tubs of yogurt a’course.  I had strawberry/raspberry + rainbow sprinkles.

Megan was a tad upset about having nothing to show for the fruits of our labor.  We tried to remind her of the cute Vera Wang dresses and decided we would go home and maybe make a list of our favorites. Lists are good. So we drove home but ended up getting a wee bit side tracked with YouTube makeup tutorials, the taco-truck delicacies that fiance Ben brought over and a competitive game of Catch Phrase.

On Sunday, we woke up with new-found focus and sheer determination.  So we hiked up our britches, slapped on the ol’ warpaint and made our way to beautiful downtown Kennewick in pursuit of a dress at the Purple Parasol.  ‘Twas closed 😦

“Oh blah-dee, oh blah-da, life goes on ohhhh brah!…Lala how the life goes on!”

Luckily, the day was saved by a trip to Calloway Gardens with Meg, my Mom and my Aunt to visit one of my all-time favorite peeps, m’G-Dot. Grandma Dorothy for those of you who don’t know this sassy little lady. She can’t remember much these days and enjoys her food mushed up a little, but girlfriend is still fierce and I love her so very much.

I left Kennewick just in time to make it back to Bryan’s parent’s house for a mother’s day dinner.  We had Qu’ed up shrimp, the Canlis Salad and a yummy strawberry-rhubarb crumble ala mode.  Bry’s mom cooked for US on mother’s day…yeah, we owe her big time.

And then a miracle happened! EUREKA! Megan went back to the Purple Parisol on Monday and found the perfect MOH dress.  I texted her my measurements and we are well on our way to bridesmaid perfection.  Btw, apparently I have a large rib cage.

Up next will be her shower and then the moment we’ve all been waiting for…the Bachelorette party.

Oh yeaaahhh!