Amy and Shannon’s Wedding

September 1, 2015Leave a comment

SO.

I don’t cry at weddings.

Don’t get me wrong, their beautiful and sh*t, but there kinda a dime a dozen. Thousands and thousands of dollars spent to accomplish something that could be completely free. But last weekend, I cried. I mean, it wasn’t like I turned on the waterworks, but yeah, a couple glistening tears graced my cheeks. And I wasn’t even the least bit embarr because EVERYONE was crying.

So much love you guys.

The weekend started out with (count it) my FOURTH road trip in a row. I arrived at my parents house on Friday night, promptly grabbed chinese food with Gare and then popped over to Megan’s to bounce Chloe around the living room #babylove.

The next morning, I ~~slept~~ participated awesomely in deep conversations all the way to Spokane with Megan and Ben. We arrived at Nyne (the venue) at 11 am and rehearsed. Then, Shannon’s parents treated us all to the best lunch anyone could ever ask for:

The Johnsons. Bein’ Johnsons.

We gave Amy and Shannon a couple little gifts to get ready in and we had Amy’s man-robe embroidered!

The rest of the day was spent eating sour watermelons, checking into all our respective hotels and drinking wine out of shot glasses at my aunt and uncle’s hotel room.

The next morning we returned to Nyne and decorated. And decorated. And decorated some more. My Dad, Rachel and I were in charge of this big lighted backdrop that my mom had dreamed up. It took some finagling, but we got it!

Megan, Rachel, Emily, Amy and I then went over to Megan’s hotel room at the Davenport Tower to get ready. Amy and Shan got us the sweetest little gifts ever and we all wore them for the wedding.

I of course did my own makeup and hair and then Rachel threw a braid on the side.

After everyone was lookin’ as good as they possibly could, we headed over to the Davenport to get some pics.

And then – it was time for the ceremony! We all lined up and filed out like good lil bridesmaids do.

Amy and Shannon said their own vows and I was just in awe of how poignant and beautiful they both were, even though Amy’s did mention “peeing the bed”. Baahahaha she’s a Danielson alright!

The reception was awesome and the food was delish. I had 3-4 petit fours and my dress started to get very very tight.

The night ended at the Peacock Room (my fave!), with key lime pie martinis, cougar gold dip and a tour of the hotel led by yours truly. Amy and Shannon even stopped by for a night cap before heading up to their room. It was LITerally, the perfect way to end the night.

I LOVE these ladies

The next day we tore down and I drove back to Kennewick with my Dad in his noisy pick up. Then I took a 15-min nap and made the drive back to Portland. One entire bag of Booty may or may not have been consumed.

I am excited to take a break from all this driving but it was definitely worth the effort :).

Amy’s Bachelorette Party

August 20, 2015August 19, 2015Leave a comment

At the ripe ol’ age of 31 you might think my bachelorette party days are over, but this summer has proven two things:

My bachelorette party days are definitely NOT over (you might say, they have only just begun)
It is ALWAYS funny to ask people if you can try on something they are wearing <- unrelated

Anyweeez – last weekend I drove the 6 hours to Spokane to party it up with the ‘bians for Amy and Shannon’s joint bachelorette. My dear sisters Megan and Rachel arrived with Nan in tow at the Oxford Suites on the Spokane river with enough time to procure the LARGEST pours of sh*tty wine and snap a few pics.

Then, we headed up to the room to decorate and try our hardest not to prematurely stick our faces in the cake.

The gals started to arrive and dranks were drunk. My auntie got Amy this awesome shirt!

Then, we headed out to Nyne (which also happens to be the venue for the wedding).

How GORGEOUS are these two? NOT FAIR

My cuz DJ C-Mad was spinning the hits and Rachel and I just wanted to dance to Drake. Haha. After a bit, we headed over to the other gay bar in Spokane, Irvs.

And thennnnn the DJ at Irvs had Amy and Shannon sit down on the stage while people danced up on em. It was gross. And sweet. And slightly sweaty. After that, they were instructed to stand in the middle of the dance floor and everyone who loved them was told to encircle them. Macklemore’s Same Love started playing as this big ol’ gay group hug just got larger and larger.

Of course I lost it. I just started crying. SUCH a sap you guys I’m sorry! But I couldn’t help it. Amy just means the absolute world to me and the fact that the LGBT community has had to deal with ANY kind of sh*t over the years LITerally makes me wanna vom. Like come on people. But anyways – it was awesome and Rachel got part of it on vid…(sorry the camera gets flipped the wrong way JUST DEAL K?)

Megan’s Baby Shower

August 13, 2015Leave a comment

First and foremost, I would like to point out that ZERO gross baby shower games were played at Megan’s shower and this was no fault of mine.

Ok. Now that that’s outta the way – let’s talk about this baby shower!

I have to give all the props in the world to Nan and Barbara for doing the bulk of the work for this shindig. You see, the night before the shower I ~~accidentally got drunk~~ was indisposed and therefore wasn’t as much of a help as I should have been the day of the shower. Thank God for G2 and some chips & salsa in the mornin’ amiright!?

Before the shenanigans the night prior, we somehow convinced Meg to let us make a paper mache mold of her belly and OMG you guys, it was hilar. First of all, she had to borrow a pair of Amy’s basketball shorts and that, in itself, was funny. I had the exciting job of smothering Vaseline all over the tum before we went in with the strips of fabric and it truly was a dream, realized for me.

And really, what can I say about the shower? It was blue. There was cake and punch. Megan got baby sh*t and we did NOT play the poopy diaper game.

Had to try the belly on

I just still can’t believe that my sister is going to birth a baby. I mean, I felt him move around in her belly and it is just INSANE. I really can’t handle it.

Tiny UW Sweater!

Blue dranks because little boys

It was also an exciting weekend because I got to see Nan and Gare’s new digs. I am so excited for them to get into the new house and for my Dad to have an actual recording studio. I plan to drop my first album this time next year, so look out for that.

A Very Baby Weekend

May 21, 20151 Comment

I keep tryin’ to think of a funny opener, but all I can do RN is hum Destiny’s Child.

Can you keep up? BABY BOY, make me lose my breath!

Sorry.

Last weekend, my sister Meg and mother Nan came to visit me. Megan is about 23 weeks preg and it was HIGH-TIME she make the trip to Portland to look for baby items in a tax-free environment.

They arrived Friday night and after my jaw dropped to the floor when I saw little Meg’s little belly, I decided it was a good idea to go ahead and have 2 LARGE glasses of vino and 3/4 of a box of Milk Duds. A grilled cheese may have made it in there too, it’s all a blur when I’m around these two.

The next day we woke up and hit NW 23rd because it’s cute and fun. We stopped immediately at Bagel Works where I ordered a plain bagel with plain cream cheese. It was definitely sub-par and not a place I would frequent. Give me a chewy, dense bagel or give me death.

We shopped around the area and I struck up a wonderful conversation at Blush Beauty Bar with a fellow customer who didn’t think she could pull off a bronzed eyeshadow. She had olive skin and gorgeous flicked liner and I was like, “GIRL LISTEN”. The ladies who worked there were kinda laughing but letsbereal, they probs hated me.

Then another gal couldn’t find a Nars lipstick in the shade Kelly, which is OBVIOUSLY from the Audacious line. When the salesperson didn’t know anything about it, I happily interjected and was all, “Excuse me? Yes, that shade is from the Audacious line, which is AMAAAZING and you should definitely get it.”

Sister Natalie, they should call me. Patron Saint of meekups.

Anyways, we got gas and I ran in for a fountain soda because it’s tradish.

Then we went to Washington Square and I wore my Tory Burch flats which was a terrible decision. We found some adorable baby clothes for Lil’ Toby Johnson (as we are referring to him) and I was able to sneak away at H&M and procure a tiny quilted sweatshirt with the words “Hello Little One” embroidered in.

Megan also found an amazing diaper bag at Nordstrom and I kindof want it for a normal purse. Is that weird?

I also coveted the following shoes:

We tried to go to the ~~Glutton~~ Cheesecake Factory for lunch but it was packed to the brim with hungry, sad-looking mall-goers who were willing to wait the hour + for a sh*tty piece of thawed-out Cheesecake.

Being the smart ladies we are, decided to succumb to Chipotle. For obvious reasons. ~~Chips~~.

After that we stopped at the Brideport shopping area where I very nearly purchased this perfume at Anthropologie for $55 because it smells like a fairy princess.

That night, the Nan and my sis crashed early because one is old and one is pregnant. I met some co-workers for karaoke and performed not one but TWO songs. One of them may or may not have been from Frozen…

The next day we got up and decided to go to Nordstrom Rack. I found a few random Alex and Ani bracelets and Nan ended up buying me one. What a gal!

Kinda cool and art-deco-ish?

I always get sad after anyone in my family leaves so Sunday night was spent in the bath, Stanley Hudson style.

All in all, a wonderful, baby-tastic weekend.

Spring Weekends

May 11, 2015Leave a comment

Hey baes.

I thought a weekend post was long overdue as lately the ends to my week have been moderately noteworthy. moderately.

First and foremost, you may remember that Sister Meg is having a baby and recently we found out (as I so maturely put it) “if it had a hoo-haw or a ding-a-ling”. Welp. It’s a ding-a-ling and he will be my little gentleman! I plan to teach him everything a guy should know, including but not limited to:

The right kinds of compliments to give (tall) girls, I.E “you look so cute and tiny!”, “you are svelte”, etc.
NEVER wear overalls, bulky turtleneck sweaters, or Timberland boots (unless you’re a construction worker)
Always smell good, but not too good. Half a spray of YSL L’Homme’ll do ya.

She already purchased the first official outfit and I gotta say, the girl has taste:

Second, Bry and I barbequed. In 80-degree sunshine. In shorts and tanks. The giddiness was real and so of course I wore my signature trashy tank.

nm my scraggly, ragamuffin hair

KC, Bryan’s older bro came to visit for a quick ski trip up (and down) Mt. Hood. They did great and came home ready for some dinner. I decided to do “Coachella eyes” that night, which basically consists of slapping 50 different bronzey eyeshadows on and smoking them out HARD. You like??

We went to Serratto and ordered a trough of food and promptly inhaled all of it. This s’mores dessert concoction was to-die. I MEAN. Just take a gander at that torched marshmallow!

The next day we had an amazing breakie and the men went climbing at Planet Granite which means that KC now is involved in 24,232 different EXTREME sports.

I went on a ~~pathetic excuse for a~~ run and I am happy to report I lived. It was touch and go there for a second though.

We then ventured over to NW 23rd and had a brunch consisting solely of burgers. And wine. And beer. Glorious beer. KC needs to come every weekend :).

I then somehow wandered into Mac and tried on hot coral lipstick because, really – why wouldn’t I? I didn’t get it but the gals at Blush Beauty Bar told me they loved it. I did however buy 2 little bath things from Lush!

That same weekend, my little sister Amy and her beautiful fiance Shannon came to visit with Shannon’s Maid of Honor, Christina in tow. We met for dinner on Thursday night and then Friday night it was ON. I felt so cool you guys. Just normal 31-year-old me, OUT ON THE TOWN. I fully gussied m’self and went over to their hotel to help with Amy’s makeup application and a little pre-funking. We went to a couple of gay bars around Portland and I danced in the middle of the dance floor alone #whatdidyouexpect.

No, i am not grabbing her boob.

Then, a handsome young gay with AMAZING eyebrows came up next to me:

Me: “You’re eyebrows are on fleeek my man!”

Him: “I’m buyin’ you a drink!”

Instant BFFs.

Lastly, I have been in dress/skirt mode and also a floral/peach mode.

Plz ignore the hot pink sports bra

Full post on the Jamberries coming soon!

Auntie!

March 19, 20153 Comments

I am very happy to announce that I will be adding the above to my long list of titles. Sister Natalie. Wife Natalie. Woodland-creature-loving Natalie. And now…

AUNTIE NATALIE

The Megs is Pregs

The first human baby in our family is set to make his or her grand entrance into the world this September and I may or may not pass out from the excitement. Not only is Megan my sister, but she is my best friend and my heart. It is hard to imagine my life without Peg (nickname) and her being pregs is like ME being pregs. So basically, I am co-pregnant with her child.

CHEEERS! (Note: This is at my bachelorette party.)

We are about 14 weeks along and so far, not showing. It’s okay though, because we have been very sick and therefore unable to eat too much. My mom has been a sparkling angel, cooking, saying her wonderful “there-theres” and just being her usual Nancy-self.

Another thing that is fun about being co-pregnant is that it opens up a whole new world of beauty products. Belly butters, nipple creams (teehee) and of course products for the actual BABY! I could srsly smell baby heads ALL DAY.

Another thing I am excited for is Megan’s diaper bag! Nowadays, the big boys make ’em. I.E – Prada, Burberry, Kate Spade, etc. Having a baby is the best because it basically means you get a new purse, amiright!?

What else? Oh yes, all the sweet little baby clothes! I am already planning on purchasing the following items, boy OR girl.

Baby overalls
Baby jeggings
A tiny onesie that looks like a pea-pod (SURELY such a thing exists)

Also, baby Patagonia

Let us also rejoice in the fact that I FINALLY get to throw a baby shower and thus make everyone play the poopy diaper game. People who turn their noses up at this game do NOT know how to have fun. I will also be making everyone play all the other “gross” baby shower games, like the babyfood one and obvs chugging an alcoholic beverage from a baby bottle. Meg is on board, so don’t worry.

I am also going to have balloons there at the door which everyone will have to shove up their shirt so Megan doesn’t feel fat, too. See! I am going to throw the best baby shower everrrrr.

So basically, I’m excited. I’m reallllly excited. I’m going to be an aunt!!!!

Christmas 2014 Re-Cap

January 6, 2015January 6, 20151 Comment

yyyyello!

Miss me? I’m sure ya did!

Shoulder Padzz

I’d love to tell you that my absence was due to a brief volunteering stint in Africa, or that I was cleaning up our entire house with eco-friendly products. Heck, I’d settle for a debilitating injury. But the truth is…I’ve been lazy. The shameful kind. The just-one-more-episode-of-Gilmore Girls kind . The mmm-this-pirate’s booty-is-GOOD kind.

You get it.

But I’m back and I’m here to stay. It’s a New Year afterall and hopefully an eventful one for me and the huz-cat. We’ve got some trips lined up (one to FRANCE) and a new-found affinity for hummus so LET’S GO!

Our 2014 Christmas was great. We kicked it off by leaving the afternoon of the 23rd after we were both off work. Oh yeah, I got a JOB. It’s amazing isn’t it? Go me. Anyweez, we got home and after a million kisses from McDoogal and some dinner, we hit the hay in preparation for yours truly’s birthday! I’m officially “in my thirties” now and I find it both disgusting and liberating at the same time. Go fig.

My birthday kicked off with a trip to IHOP, because, duh. I have NEVER been to IHOP and, well, I suddenly had the urge to order a stack of 500-calorie pancakes. So we went. Check out the array of syrups! Buddy the Elf would have been in heaven.

After breakfast and a little walk, Nan and I decided to get our nails done. It was there, at the nail salon, where we discovered a new show that had us both on the edge of our seats (literally). Blacklist. Anyone a fan? The 20-something sweet boy who was doing my nails said it was his favorite and he kept telling me what was about to happen. I was thinking “SHUT UP!” but his enthusiasm was just too presh.

Of course we attended the 6 o’clock mass that night where my Dad played a little clarinet and sax. Father Richard was en pointe this year and the homily was actually uplifting – WIN! After church we all went over to Megan and Ben’s for my birthday party.

We had crab, crab cakes (Ben made them and they were so good!), manicotti and one of Rachel’s famous cakes. She did a funfetti cake for me with MACARONS on top!! Does this girl know me, or DOES SHE KNOW ME?

The next morning was Christmas! And true to Danielson form, things were a bit wonky. Sister Amy and her fiancé weren’t able to drive over until later that day and Sister Megan had her new family to celebrate with. That left Bry and I to fend for ourselves. So we did what anyone would do in our situation – we went to see the Hobbit! IN 3-D! It was SO amazing to watch in 3-D but the movie itself? Mehhh.

After the movie we came home and helped my mom with a few last minute touches on the ol’ Christmas ham and then Amy and Shannon arrived! They brought with them one of their many fur babies, Ellie. Or as I like to call her, Elle Belle.

Guys, I seriously fell in love with this dog in a matter of minutes. She is the sweetest, liveliest little baby ever and I want her. My grandparents came over at that point and it was positively ADORBS to watch them interact with little Ellie. My heart melted into a gigantic pool of love.

We had dinner then opened presents and it was a magical evening. Except I got a Downton Abbey puzzle for Nan and discovered she already had one..asjnasdoinwnNL!98324joa. whatevs. I LOVE Christmas.

Oh, Gare

The next day Bry ventured back to Seattle to spend a little QT with his bro before he left on a trip to Thailand. I stayed back in Kennewick to spend some time with m’girls and yes, Ellie absolutely had something to do with it. We went to lunch, shopped (BBW was a MADHOUSE) and played cards – it was a good day.

On Saturday, Meg, Nan and I drove over to Seattle so they could see my Aunt & Uncle and I could do a little Christmas with the Nash clan. Did I mention how much I love love LOVE being a part of this family!? We opened more gifts, drank champs and got ready to head out for dinner.

Maxamilien is a Nash tradish and one I am proud to help uphold. It wasn’t the same without Bryan’s brother KC, but we had no problem putting down some steak with truffle fries and a bottle of wine!

The next morning we begrudgingly said goodbye to our fair state and drove back to Portland. Our NYE was very uneventful, with a couple glasses of champs and lights-out at 9 BUT New Years Day was a blast!

We went skiing at Mt. Hood Meadows and I actually did decent for my first time back. Yes, I felt like my legs were filled with boiling acid, but all in all, it wasn’t too shabby.

Here’s to 2015!!