Sound the alarm!

Gird your loins!

Pull up your boot straps!

My 2018 Christmas list is here!

BEHOLD!

I feel like this year is alllll about luxury. Which is funny, because I am about to yield a child who will inevitably humble, embarrass and otherwise de-glamorize me beyond recognition. Maybe that is why I am craving those items in life right now that say, “Hey – I’m comfy AND classy!” Those things that will make me feel kinda chic when life is kicking the absolute sh*t outta me. When I can wink a sparkly eyelid at the mom fresh out of barre class in her Lululemon cropped tank while I awkwardly maneuver the stroller with a crying baby and my postpartum muffin top showing and think, “You’re fine! You got this.”

Bobby Brown Face Base

To kick things off right, of course I want the same moisturizing primer that all the rich gurus like Jeffree Starr and Tati are using. I picture myself dunking a brand new beauty blender into this product and having skin JUST like theirs.

Camo Tee Shirt – Size M

Why it has taken me this long to finally procure a camo tee shirt, I do not know. I used to own THEE best one in high school and my sisters and I would fight over it. It was one from the Army surplus store and had been washed like a million times. It was so thin and SO soft. Hoping this will serve me the same way.

Lush D’Fluff Shaving Soap

I want a big ol’ tub of this stuff for two reasons. One: it smells strawberries and Two: the texture is like none other. It really is fluffy! Gotta hand it to Lush for always keeping things fun.

iRobot Roomba 690 Vacuum 

I have wanted a Roomba for a few years now but the price and the fact that I have a relatively small house has held me back. This year they are going on sale for Black Friday and I have decided that it is time. It’s time to say yes to having consistently clean floors (we have all hardwoods). It’s time I start realizing that shaving off an entire chore is worth $250. It is time to step into the light and get excited about a vacuum cleaner.

Kopari Body Care Set

I have really been enjoying the Kopari Coconut Melt in these chilly months. I use it on my belly, my face and my hair. It is kindof an amazing to have one product you really feel good about slathering everywhere. Since I discovered the Coconut Melt, the brand has expanded into all kinds of new products. I REALLY want to try the Coconut Shower Oil…and this set comes with a little bottle :).

Minnetonka Cally Slippers in Blush Suede – Size 10

Can you believe I DO NOT own a pair of slippers? It is a travesty I know. I had to special order a pair for David (he wears a size 15) and I get so jealous when he has them on for puttering around the house. In keeping with the theme for this year, I definitely need a pair!

Quay “It’s My Way” Sunglasses – Black

I feel like I have asked for a different pair of these sunglasses every year for Christmas. These ones in particular are just SO practical for me. They are GIANT, better quality than all the crappy ones I have from H&M and will be much needed to cover up the bags under my eyes in the coming months (which btw, are Prada).

Asymmetrical Snap-Up Fleece –  in pink and white (or any color) Size L

It just wouldn’t be Christmas without at least one item from good ol’ Abercrombie & Fitch amiright!? I have wanted this fleece for over a year now and right now it is ON SALE. I love the style of the neck, the quilted section and I mean, it’s fleece!                                                    (performance fleece….ooh it’s fine!) <- Anybody?!

Too Faced Twinkle Twinkle Liquid Glitter Eyeshadow – in Honey Please

I feel I owe it to you all AND to myself to compare this stuff to the Stila Magificent Metals glitters. I LOVE those ones and am curious to know how this formula compares!

Koolaburra Sylvia Boots – in Chestnut, Size 9.5

I ask for boots every damn year but I LIVE IN PORTLAND OK? Boots and coats, man. That’s all we get for so long. It’s just practical. And these ones have little fur and knit components. I MEAN. So cute.