Hello little hummus cups.

And thanks for being here. I realized the other day that I do not say that enough. I absolutely love my teeny tiny corner of the internet and the fact that you or anyone reads this makes it pretty darn special. At least to me. sothanks.

Welp. I am due in just about a month. Let’s talk about some sh*t.

Physical Health –

Overall I’m aight.  I have lower back and persistent tailbone pain and bad heartburn, but other than that things are not too shabby.

Mental Health –

My mental health game is surprisingly fairly strong! My therapist and I have tackled lots of issues together, such as:

• Dealing with the mental side of putting on weight
• Anticipation of losing my identity
• Worry over the changes that will take place in my marriage and relationships
• Anticipation of sleep deprivation
• Medical procedures (such as getting an IV)
• The pain of childbirth
• The physical ramifications of childbirth
• My body after childbirth
• Childbirth

If it is not clear from the list above, I have a fair amount of anxiety surrounding childbirth. Man alive, how many times can I type the word CHILDBIRTH? Cripes. I think my anxieties are normal but the anticipation can be pretty crippling. Ya feel me?

Although I am (selfishly) quite nervous about the parts that involve MY body and psyche, I actually feel pretty okay about the baby-care part. Mostly due to the fact that I have a seasoned pro by my side (David) and a very enthusiastic junior mommy (E). She has already requested that the baby sleep in her room and volunteered to do much of the feeding. Sure thing, kid ;). Homegirl is excited and we cannot wait to see their little relationship unfold.

Here’s what else is going on:

We went on a maternity tour and took a Newborn Essentials class at the hospital.

The maternity tour gave me  a few minor panic attacks, mostly at the mention of blood clots and the hospital’s baby friendly policies. One part of this involves doing skin-to-skin RIGHT after the baby is born. As in, they pull the sucker out, do minimal cleaning, and set it directly ON YOU. You do this for one hour and then they take the baby away for measurements and whatnot. Mostly all of these things freak me out and I would rather have someone else do it. I called my Dad after the class and jokingly asked him if he would be willing. He replied, “Nat I’ve got my shirt off right now.” Baaaaaaaaahahaha.

*I also realize that my feelings about these kinds of things may totally change once I meet her, but this is how I feel right now.

The Newborns class was also pretty darn insightful. It was basically a 3-hr crash course on babies. Here were my favorite take-aways:

• If someone comes to “visit” during those first couple of months, keep a list of chores on the fridge. When the friend/family member asks if there is anything they can do to help, you can say, “Sure, there is a list on the fridge. -OR-
• Make visitors do a chore or bring food over if they want to hold the baby. *Not sure I would actually do this but it gives me a chuckle.
• The phrase “sleeping through the night” for an infant is considered 5 hours.
• Taking the baby for a walk between the hours of 10 am and 1 pm helps them start understanding that there is a difference between daytime and nighttime.
• Tummy time is like, really important.
• So is breastmilk, or breastfeeding.
• Talking to the baby and explaining what you are doing early on, “I’m setting you down to change you,”, “It’s time to eat!”, etc. even as an infant is really good for them and helps them understand what you are doing sooner.

And while I have your attention…I have asked David multiple times if he would start taking hormones so that he can lactate and share the chore of breastfeeding with me…sadly he is not going for it.

I have also been trying to prepare for the busy life of primary caregiver to an infant baby by being as lazy as possible! Also being horizontal is just nice.

I like to binge watch Counting On! Gotta love those Duggar girls. I also folded my first batch of baby laundry!

Or nap in our big chair watching The Affair on HBO and staring at the Christmas tree.

Or walking around in the world’s comfiest pants c/o my homegirl Dana who got me these from Soft Surroundings.

In  my spare time, I also like to look at cute baby items that are out of my price range or completely and utterly unnecessary. Like this item:

Def do not need this but MAN do I want it. For myself 😉

Overall, I am tired and sore, excited, grateful, emotional, scared shitless and happy all at the same time.  I am so thankful for my David and my family, because without them I would be monumentally more worried than I am right now!