I Love it When We’re Crusin’ Together

Runner up post titles: I’m on a Boat! Sail Away With Me. And of course, The Love Boat.

I guess you can figure out the theme here…

Bry and I are going on a cruise in less than 2 weeks!!

We embark on March. 2 and will cruise around the Mexican Riviera via the Carnival Spirit for 9 glorious days.

Maybe it’s the fact that every sentence I’ve started in the past 2 months has begun with, “This is the coldest I’ve ever been…”. Or the fact that I fall on the sidewalks, have ridiculously chapped hands (they bleed and yes, I’ve tried everything) and must don a beanie to take out the trash.  Or maybe, it’s because I have an amazing guy that books cruises out of nowhere and calls me at work to say, “We’re leaving for a cruise of the Mexican Riviera in two weeks. I love you.”

Well HOTDOG I’m excited! I’ll be losing my cruise-virginity so to speak as this will be my first time at sea. As a first timer, I’m desperate for advice and tips so if you’re a crusin pro, please inform away!

When Bryan told me we were going on a cruise my first thought of course, was what I was going to wear. I then began to tally up other small details that will just not do aboard the Carnival Spirit.

Exhibit A: My white trash halo, or grow-out for all you blonde term illiterates out there.

NOT cute.

Exhibit B: The extra “wobbly bits” (as Bridget Jones would say) I’ve happily accumulated this cold, Jackson winter.

Enter new nourishment:

To commemorate the passing of our dear Ms. Houston, I’ve decided it’s time to bring back the 80’s. I have high hopes that the Slim Fast Diet will help shape me into the woman who won’t have to declare, “I wanna dance with somebody!”

So far the Slim Fast Plan is a little tougher than I thought. The shakes are supposed to “keep you satisfied for up to 4 hours”. I want to know who on earth lasts 4 hours on 8 ounces of chocolate milk?!

Maybe if you add in a loaf of french bread :-).

I’ve also made a few purchases of the online kind to re-vamp my tired winter wardrobe. Thanks to Victoria’s Secret and Forever 21, I now have a few cruising essentials.

Oh, and I checked with VS and they assured me I’d look exactly like the models when my swimsuits arrive. Yay!

Formal Night Cruise Wear

Literal and Awesome

To say that I’m excited would be an understatement. I’m so ready to escape the snow, cold and especially the sh*t skiers say. Bring on the sun, bring on the buffet. I’m ready to be on a boat!

Still funny.

When the Cat is Away…

The mouse will buy Sally Hanson Nail strips.

20120211-160531.jpg

They're Sparkly Pink

And will will drink copious amounts of coffee laced with this deliciousness.

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Artificial and Awesome

Bry is out skiing the Ellingwood Coulior today. He woke up at 3 a.m this morning and will return around 7 pm tonight.

Ellingwood Coulior

Bam

Source

So far I’ve:

  • Gone to the gym, and subsequently took over the mayorship of JH Health & Fitness on Foursquare (sorry Rick T.).
  • Showered off m’glitter, had oats and watched Cupcake Wars.
  • Hit up Albertsons for said nail strips.
  • Visited Yippee I-O on the square for fabulous Valentine’s candy to adorn red velvs I plan to make Monday night.
  • Swung by Browse n’ Buy (our only decent thrift store in Jackson) to look for books. I scored a Jodi Picoult, Plain Truth (clearly I’m obsessed) and a Diane Chamerblainm novel  called The Midwive’s Confession. Both for $2. Yee yee!

Now that I’m home it’s gonna be nothing but nail strips, experimental makeup application, Dance Moms on Hulu and some  vodka + Crystal Lights. Whoa, 4:30 – I’d better skeddadle!

Have a great weekend cookies!

Bookworm Update

Time for another book update ya’ll!

Here’s what I’ve been reading:

Skipping Christmas by John Grisham

I stumbled upon this at my parents house during Christmas break and read it super fast. It’s basically exactly what you’d expect. Since I had already seen “Christmas With the Kranks” I knew what I was in for. Although parts of it kindof infuriated me – I thought it was extremely cute and pretty funny.  It was a perfect, feel-good Christmasy read.

Mercy by Jodi Picoult

This Picoult book deals with the interesting and controversial topic (as all of Picoult’s novels do) of euthanasia. The book was sad, yet the characters were very fun to read about. True to form, Picoult challenged my views and brought to life a stirring relationship in which a man loved his wife so much, he was willing to end her life.  I really liked this one and was left wishing it would go on.

The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls

Whoa – this book rocks. I almost want to leave it at that and just tell you to go out and read it now, but I won’t ;).  This book details the life of a young girl raised by two parents who are very odd, to say the least. The family moved around the United States, doing the “skedaddle” every time there was a problem with the law or CPS. Although the family lived in poverty, filth and starvation, the three kids aspire to make something of themselves. This book is beyond inspiring.

Cooking for Mr.Right by Susan Volland

What a fun read this was! After I read the back jacket of this book, I realized I must read it. It’s basically the “My Best Friend’s Wedding” story line although swap Julia Roberts for a Seattle chef and Cameron Diaz for a goody-goody school teacher. Also, since it took place in Seattle I loved it even more!

Right now I’m reading My Sister’s Keeper, which is another Jodi Picoult novel. Of course, I’ll fill you in on the deets once I’m finished.

Happy reading!!

Unicorn Bites

This post is dedicated to Gary R. Danielson. You see, today he turns 60! He is the best father a gal could ask for and I love him so, so, so much. Happy Birthday Gary!

I like unicorns.

Kind of alot. Oh, and thank you to 14Four for making me the sorcerer of Firefox.

Today is the day where I’ll share with you the top-secret recipe I have been plotting. Please bear in mind, this recipe is not for the weak n’weary. This is balls-to-the-wall, bat-sh*t cookie craziness. Before you go assuming that nothing could be worthy of such a valiant culinary effort, know this: people will love you more after you make this recipe. It’s that simple.

Here’s what I suggest: Make these on your next day off. Print off the recipe, grab yourself a cappuccino and head to the grocery store. $30 and 7 hours later you’ll be glad you did. Not only does this recipe take a little time, but also some pre-planning. Living in a place like Jackson Hole, Wyoming means that I’m devoid of certain amenities like a cake supply shop or Target. I was forced to take to the internets to procure such ingredients as edible glitter, which costs$6.78 for 5 grams. BFD – these puppies are worth it. Plus, every gal needs a little edible glitter in her life.

I should also note that this recipe is by no means a creation of my own mind. While I hate to admit it, there are other unicorn fans out there who are darn clever – click here to see this idea in it’s original form. You’ll note the author is quite funny, which furthered my determination to successfully re-create these majestic little gems in my own kitch. I mean, she calls them “unicorn poops” for heaven’s sake. You gotta love her.

I followed her recipe on instructables very closely, but obviously modified it just slightly to fit my needs.

  UNICORN BITES

Step One: Make the dough

Here is where you can introduce any basic sugar cookie recipe you like. I used the one from the instructables site, but ended up not loving the taste so I would suggest another sugar cookie dough that you’ve made before.

Step Two: Dye the dough

Now that you have your dough completed, you’ll need to separate it out into 6 equal portions for red, orange, yellow, green, blue and purple. I used a half cup measure for each color and it came out just about perfect for 6 portions. Place the dough into 6 different cups or bowls and using regular food coloring, dye your doughs to your desired shades.

I noticed that I needed way more food coloring for the red and blue shades. Make sure you mix the colors into your doughs thoroughly. Try and enlist a friend to help with this step as your hand will get super tired if doing this sans a hand mixer.  I went for nice, bold shades of each color to achieve maximum unicorn-ness.

Once the doughs are dyed, place them in plastic bags and refrigerate the doughs for at least one hour.

Step Three: Molding the dough

Once the doughs have been refrigerated it’s time to make the cookies! I literally achieved the shape of my cookies using the tried and true, trial and error method. What I found to be the easiest was to grab a small amount of dough (like a walnut sized piece) and roll it in between your palms to create a little snake shape, about 4 inches long. On a floured surface, roll out little snakes like this in each color in rainbow order and stack them next to eachother like this.

Once you have all the colors laid out nicely, roll them all together into one rainbow rope.

Now, take the rope and twist it like your twisting a tootsie roll wrapper.

At this point, I set the rope down onto the cookie sheet and formed it into almost a butt shape, as seen here.

You can really get creative and form your rope into any shape you like. The gal from the instructables site formed hers into more poopy looking shapes. So pick your poison.

Step Four: Baking and Decorating

This Would Be: Disney Princess Glitter Gel 4-Pack, CK Edible Glitter, Betty Crocker Flowers and Betty Crocker Pearl Cupcake Gems

After you have successfully molded all your dough into wonderful cookies, place them on the cookie sheet and bake them per the instructions you followed for your dough. They may take a little longer to bake if you made them a little thicker like I did. Watch them closely because we don’t want our beautiful rainbows to turn brown. After you remove them from the oven, immediately grab your shiny balls and push them into the dough. I used a toothpick to help aid me with this step.

Once the cookies have cooled, it’s time to add our first layer of sparkle. Take the sparkle gel and spread it all over the cookie, I used my finger because I’m classy.

Immediately after spreading the sparkle gel, press on the flower sprikles or any other sprinkles or jimmies you have on hand.

After the sprinkles are adhered, it’s Tinkerbell time! Take the edible glitter, pinch a tiny amount and sprinkle delicately across the surface of each cookie. Dot a little on your cheekbones while you’re at it.

And now, the majesty is completed. Spread the joy, share the sparkle, shine the light of the unicorn on someone’s day!

Shredding the Gnar

And lovin every minute of it!

Bryan Crushing Pow

As of late, I have basically been shredding the gnar and taking names. You heard me! On Sunday I successfully skied from 8:45 am to 3:00 pm. Almost bell to bell.

The kicker?

I didn’t fall ONCE. This is a big deal for me. We’re talking about Jackson Hole Mountain Resort here people! JHMR has over 3600 vertical feet of skiing, which is the most skiing on natural snow and the most snow of any major resort in the lower 48.

Allow me to back-up. Saturday night, Bryan treated me to my favorite restaurant in JH, Trio. In preparation for our little date night, I followed my pointedly neurotic habitual getting ready routine.

Music ON. Biebs blastin. I did my hair by utilizing  the wrap-your-hair-around-the-curling iron method, to achieve perfect “I didn’t even try” tousled waves. While sipping a vodka + soda, I then moved on to makeup application. I applied my new-to-me Makeup Forever HD foundation with all the accoutrements, including my Smashbox primer and high def micro powder. After smearing my face with various other over-priced cosmetics I nodded in satisfaction as I moved onto wardrobe.

After getting dressed, we were off! We made a proper reservation but got to the restaurant a bit early and opted to sit at the bar. We ordered CT’s, watched the pizza chef manipulate his dough into gorgeous artisan ‘za and snapped a photo.

We ordered 2 appetizers and then split this little beauty:

From the website:

Pan Seared Hawaiian Ono

sage infused gnocchi, crispy prosciutto and brussels sprouts salad, capers, lemon and brown butter

The next morning I surprisingly awoke around 8 am. Maybe it was the promise of a great ski day? More likely though, it was the smell of coffee and egg in the hole  for breakie. We quickly ate and got ready to hit the slopes.

Ski Braid

When we arrived at the Village we were greeted by no line for the Teewinot lift. Perfect for some warm-up laps.

View from the Bottom of the Gondola

We moved on to AV and Casper after that and I felt great! Considering I learned to ski last year and have been out less than 5 times this year, I was pretty proud of myself.

I should probably mention that by NO MEANS am I to the level of 90% of the skiers out there or 99.9% of the locals. I am simply, a somewhat un-coordinated, ex volleyball player from Washington state who considers 20 mintues on the elliptical a viable workout and loves candy. Take me or leave me.

Exemplifying 100% Perfect Form

After a few more runs on Apres Vous, Bry and I traversed over to the Casper lift, skied down and ducked into Casper lodge for the most earth shattering drink I’ve ever had (well, since gimlets).

Concocting

Allow me to introduce my new little friend…

Hot Shnocolate

This would be 1 part coffee, 1 part hot chocolate and 1 part peppermint shnappes. And a little whip. Holla.

After I was warm and toasty inside and out, it was time for more epic runs.

We ended the day by basking in the small pocket of sunshine that opened up and knocking back some well-deserved PBRs.

What’s better than the feeling of actually being excited for the next snow day?

Not much.

Shining, Shimmering Splendid

Tell me princess, now when did you last let your heart decide?

Princess Jasmine is so beautiful, right? Personally, my favorite Disney Princess is Ariel but it’s close. I thought I’d title this post using the most thought-provoking and relevant song lyrics of our generation. And why? My life is filled with sparkle.

I am sparkling! And not like Abba.

I have committed to begin running again. For those of you who knew me during my crazed wanna-be-marathoner phase, don’t worry, history will not be repeating itself. I’ve come to the conclusion that, well, I’ve been a lazy mo-fo. I tell myself that 30 minutes on the elliptical is “working out”, but when I step off the machine still perfectly dry and without shortness of breathe, I wonder “Am I superwoman? Or just not pushing myself?”. Shamelessly, I’m going to go with the latter. So it’s time to get in shape, girl.

I started off with a bang this morning, completing four slllloooowwww miles on the TM. It felt great and I have this blogger to thank for inspiring me to get off the couch, stop watching “Dance Moms” and start working on m’ fitness.

In other news, I have been pining over the ingredients for making a top-secret cookie recipe which I will reveal in due time. I finally bit the bullet and ordered a jar of majesty.

You can eat  it. I might faint.

Lastly, I stumbled upon this little beauty when I was perusing Amazon with my gal pals the other night over midnight margaritas. Oh law, that’s smashing.

Swoon.

Well, I’m off to wash off my “glitter”. Over and out!

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year Cookies!

Ok, so I know I’m very with this post. Most people are already on to posting about a new diet, 2012 vacation plans or still trying to return the hideous Christmas watch from Sears only to learn it is now worth $1.99. Hello re-gift!

I got back to Jackson about a week ago after spending nearly two weeks in the fabulous state of Washington, namely the Tri Cities. Looking back on the time I spent at home, I realize how different it is from most other people’s “home for the holidays” stories. Why is this? It’s simple. Our family is close. We don’t drop everything, plan cheesy Christmas-time pajama parties, sit around eating gourmet meals and especially, hug…Instead, we go about our lives. And I love to come along for the ride. So this Christmas, while the Danielsons of course enjoyed our normal Christmasy festivities, I also partook in lots of other day-to-day fun times which I love doing.

  1. Fighting the crowds at Columbia Center Mall. Who, I ask allows their pre-adolescent children to stroll the mall at a glacial pace for hours, stuffing Cinnabons in their makeup-laden faces and “macking” their pimply boyfriend during the holidays? We encountered dozens of such cases at CCM and when all you want to do is collect your $10 birthday gift at Victoria’s Secret, this can be quite the annoyance.

Success

  1. Going to the eye doctor. Tried on some specs, made it rain.

Making a Comeback

3. Going for walks. We took Chloe the ill-tempered Chihuahua for a much-needed walk along the levy. God bless Dad and Amy for later trimming her nails.

4. Shopping at Ranch and Home. This is a must-do if you’re ever in Kennewick.

Humongous Safe

5. Reading, relaxing and coffee. I was able to pound out this little beaut in a little under 4 days.

6. Turning 28. Ew. At least my crown was fabulous.

Decor

7. Going to Christmas Eve Mass. We thought it was the kiddie version, with the little Mary and Joseph skit but it turns out it wasn’t. Fail. At least we got to hear my Dad play!

8. Consuming wine. Kestrel Platinum is my fave – not sure why…?

Oh, a cute bottle. Duh!

9. Opening presents on Christmas Morning Night. We ended up opening presents on Christmas night. Sister Amy wasn’t getting back from her job in Spokane until about 5 pm so we waited until after dinner to finally open presents.

Nan and Nat

Amy in Flannel

McDougal on Christmas Watch

I also got to spend a little time in Seattle! My Mom and I went over for 2 nights and we able to hang out with the Policars (cousins) who are just about my favorite people ever. I also got to spend time with Bryan and his family which was so much fun and very, very Christmasy. One night, we sat around the fire place, chatting and sipping Grand Marnier while I opened my birthday presents…majesty!

Speaking of presents, I got some amazing things. Bryan really outdid himself with this necklace and earring set from Pearls by Shari. Ever since I moved to Jackson, I’ve had my eye on this necklace. It is always in the shop’s window and for me, it just represents my life in Jackson. It is beautiful, unique and just so…me! Corny, yes. But I effing love it.

J'adore.

Another great day was getting to see one of my dearest friends, Lacey and her new baby Winston. We  hadn’t seen each other in SO long and it was due-time for a visit. Winston is of course, the sweetest little boy ever. He is a mama’s boy and I can see why. Lacey is a wonderful mother and friend. If you’re reading – I love you Lacey and Winston!

I was very sad to leave Washington, my family and friends. I feel so at home when I’m in Washington and while coming back to Wyoming isn’t the same, it was so great to see Bryan, Holly and be back at work.

NYE was totally cray-cray.

Sparkly Tank-Top Holla!

I kid. We actually went to bed around 11 and tried to stay awake by watching the Lion King. We stayed up long enough to mutter, “Happy New Year” to one another and quickly drifted off. I think all the Christmas boozin’ got us outta the NYE mood. Oh well, there’s always 2013!