Runner up post titles: I’m on a Boat! Sail Away With Me. And of course, The Love Boat.

I guess you can figure out the theme here…

Bry and I are going on a cruise in less than 2 weeks!!

We embark on March. 2 and will cruise around the Mexican Riviera via the Carnival Spirit for 9 glorious days.

Maybe it’s the fact that every sentence I’ve started in the past 2 months has begun with, “This is the coldest I’ve ever been…”. Or the fact that I fall on the sidewalks, have ridiculously chapped hands (they bleed and yes, I’ve tried everything) and must don a beanie to take out the trash.  Or maybe, it’s because I have an amazing guy that books cruises out of nowhere and calls me at work to say, “We’re leaving for a cruise of the Mexican Riviera in two weeks. I love you.”

Well HOTDOG I’m excited! I’ll be losing my cruise-virginity so to speak as this will be my first time at sea. As a first timer, I’m desperate for advice and tips so if you’re a crusin pro, please inform away!

When Bryan told me we were going on a cruise my first thought of course, was what I was going to wear. I then began to tally up other small details that will just not do aboard the Carnival Spirit.

Exhibit A: My white trash halo, or grow-out for all you blonde term illiterates out there.

Exhibit B: The extra “wobbly bits” (as Bridget Jones would say) I’ve happily accumulated this cold, Jackson winter.

Enter new nourishment:

To commemorate the passing of our dear Ms. Houston, I’ve decided it’s time to bring back the 80’s. I have high hopes that the Slim Fast Diet will help shape me into the woman who won’t have to declare, “I wanna dance with somebody!”

So far the Slim Fast Plan is a little tougher than I thought. The shakes are supposed to “keep you satisfied for up to 4 hours”. I want to know who on earth lasts 4 hours on 8 ounces of chocolate milk?!

Maybe if you add in a loaf of french bread :-).

I’ve also made a few purchases of the online kind to re-vamp my tired winter wardrobe. Thanks to Victoria’s Secret and Forever 21, I now have a few cruising essentials.

Oh, and I checked with VS and they assured me I’d look exactly like the models when my swimsuits arrive. Yay!

To say that I’m excited would be an understatement. I’m so ready to escape the snow, cold and especially the sh*t skiers say. Bring on the sun, bring on the buffet. I’m ready to be on a boat!

Still funny.