Things I Don’t Want

April 3, 20148 Comments

You know, we all spend so much time thinking, talking and lusting about things WE WANT. Which is just sad, really. Not because we shouldn’t be materialistic (there are worse things, me thinks), but because desperation is not a good look on anyone.

So in light of this, I have decided to show you all some things I definitely do not want.

Like, at all.

THIS DRESS

What is up with the whole neoprene trend? I don’t get how is it cool to wear scuba fabric in our daily lives. While doing scuba? Sure. Washing the dishes? Applying for a loan? No.

The garment pictured, combines the lovely neoprene trend with what appears to be an un-snapped body suit (you know the ones, girls) sewn into the silhouette of a skater dress. Annd, what girl wants a butt-stripe? NOT ME.

THESE JEANS

^And these shoes^

I’ll admit it. When skinny jeans first came out, I was a big skeptic. It wasn’t until months later that I finally caved and gave into that ankle-hugging glory. But this jean trend? It didn’t work on women in the 80’s and it doesn’t work now. Plus, if you have even the semblance of a saddle bag, skintight high-waisted pants aren’t really your BFF anyway.

I have nothing against a combat boot when worn with the appropriate pairing. The above platform versions look like a castoff from that movie The Craft.

The new Velvetines from Lime Crime

I want to make it clear that I am NOT hating on Lime Crime. I frigging love their makeup and philosphpy and just, everything. And because I love them so much, sometimes it is nice when they come out with something I don’t like. The above pictured velvetine in Salem is from the new “Clueless Witch” line which has three dark, vampy shades. One of the shades would work for me, but this deep brown, matte lip color? You can guess what I think it looks like.

The Marc Jobs Lolita Palette

Oh, how I wanted this when it came out last August. I died for it. The packaging is bliss, the colors looked amazing. I was SURE the eyeshadows would be velvety soft, super pigmented and blendable. I have swatched the shadows and tried them on at Sephora a good 87263 times, and you know what? I was not impressed. Not at all.

THESE HAIR TRENDS

This looks like her colorist was drunk. Or high. And you are probably too if you find this hair stripe to be a nice looking trend.

I mean. COME ON. Do I need to say anything about this mushroom pictured above? YEAH, didn’t think so.

Oh and lastly…

HAREM SWEATPANTS

On men, especially. I mean, are regular sweatpants not roomy enough? All I can think about when I see these are DIAPERS. You could have diapers on under there.

Or these, on anyone besides Aladdin.

Any new trends you can’t stand or things you don’t want?

5-Minute Face || Natalie

April 1, 2014April 1, 20141 Comment

Check out my guest post on Pretty Wednesday today!

Pretty Wednesday

I am over the top excited that my friend and fellow blogger, Natalie, agreed to show me around the world of makeup a few days ago. She does such an awesome job of combining ‘worth it’ department store makeup with ‘it’s the same damn thing’ drug store products. I have learned so much from her over the last year or so of friendship and am honored she would share her knowledge here.

Hey there! I’m Natalie from The Natalie Diaries.

Any gal, married, single, with 3 kids or one fur baby can always use a quick way to get herself looking fabulous in the morning so Melissa and I thought it would be fun to share a few tips on how to get there with you. Here is my version of what I like to call The 5-Minute Face.

First, I prep my face with moisturizer. I like…

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Rodan + Fields Self-Tanner and Skincare Review

March 31, 2014February 22, 20177 Comments

**For more pictures and an updated review on this product, click here!**

My lovely co-worker and friend, Megan was kind enough to allow me to try a few products from the Rodan + Fields skincare line to try. She has been selling their products for about a year and lemme just tell you, her skin is gorgeous.

Rodan + Fields Essentials Foaming Sunless Tan 4.2oz $24

As a huge fan of any cancer-free tan, I was thrilled to try this one in particular because it is made by actual dermatologists. Which means I knew it wouldn’t be poisonous, cause break-outs or be super orangey.

And I was right.

Step One: I started out by taking a shower and exfoliating my skin with the Tree Hut Body Scrub in Brazilian Nut which smells DIVINE. As any avid tan-in-a-can girl will tell you, exfoliation before tan application is key.

Step Two: I used 2.5 pumps per leg and noticed right away that the product was not tinted. Some brands use what’s called “color-guard” to make it easier to see any areas you have missed. The color-guard tint also means that usually it’s best to apply with a tanning mitt.

Since this foam is clear, I just used my bare hands and went to town. The smell was really nice and kind of citrusy, WAY better than most self-tanning products. The label advised “finishing one area completely before moving on to the next” and when I began to work the product into my skin, I knew why. The foam absorbs SUPER quickly into the skin, which means you gotta work quickly. No dilly-dallying. No time to stop and clip your toenails. But I kinda loved it. I loved that it was absorbing so nicely and evenly into my skin, instead of sitting grossly on top, making me feel “wet”. Literally, 5 minutes later, I was all done!

Freshly applied – nevermind my gross, veiny foot

Forearm – before

Step Three: After a thorough hand washing, I walked around our bathroom watching YouTube makeup tutorials and eating handfuls of Fruit Looks naked while the product completely dried. Now THERE’S A SITE! Within minutes, my skin felt completely dry (not like, dry-dry though) and I could get dressed.

*Here are shots from the next morning.

Overall, I really liked the tanning foam. The developed color is not super dark, but I think that’s what I like about it. While I would not use it for that instant, deep dark tan – I love it as an everyday, subtle “glowy” tanned look.

The next products I reviewed came packaged so cutely and conveniently. Here we have the Microdermabrasion Paste, the Night-Renewing Serum and the Lip-Renewing Serum.

Step One: I started out with a (relatively) clean face (makeup wipes only).

Just. Don’t be jealous.

Then I squeezed out the entire packet of paste onto the tips of my fingers and began massaging it into my skin for 30-60 seconds as instructed.

The paste had a wonderful, almost warming effect on my skin and felt amaaaazing as I worked it around. Call me cray, but I could literally feel my skin moving and tightening below the surface of the product. SOMETHING was happening and I luuurved it.

Step Two: A minute later, I rinsed the product off and patted my skin dry. Then I went in with the face serum and literally – just, oh m’lord. The Hallelujah chorus went off in my head. Or maybe my face? Hallelujah! Said my pores. Hallelujah! Exclaimed my fine fines. It was like my skin was finally given a big ol’ drink of water. Actually, not a drink. It was given a Big Gulp.

Guys, this serum is JUST the best. The best, Jerry, the best. My skin was like a friggen’ baby’s bottom.

Step Three: Then I smeared the lip-renewing serum all over my mouth. And I mean everywhere. I went WAY outside the lines and into the corners. It felt like the most luxurious lip gloss ever, like a rich oil. Even after Bryan and I watched an episode of Dexter AND I drank water – the product was still there, sinking into my lips.

So, yeah. I have never experienced such an enlightening night of skincare before in m’life. Perhaps it is because I haven’t tried products that really work. Which is kindof a depressing thought. No, these products are not cheap. But, I am a firm believer that with skincare – you absolutely get what you pay for.

I am so impressed with everything I tried from the Rodan + Fields line and will keep you all in the loop if I try out anything else. If you are interested in purchasing any products from the line, just click any of the links!

‘Til next time – stay lovely!

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100 DAYS

March 27, 2014March 27, 20147 Comments

‘Til our wedding y’all.

100. Days.

100 days until I am a Mrs. A wife (NOT a wifey, PLEASE). And you know what? I’m so freakin excited.

Questions.

Cold feet?

Um HEYYL nah. My feet are actually hot and sweaty. And in dire need of a pedicure.

Nervous about living together?

In case you live on another planet or are brand new to my humble blog (welcome!), The Bry and I have been living together for a while. We moved in together after dating for only 4 months.

Before any uptights JUDGE, extenuating circumstances do apply. We met months prior and were friends before we started officially “dating”. We both just KNEW. Blah Blah Blah. When you’re in your late twenties and two people click like Bry and I happened to…you move in. Sorry Dad! It all worked out! Feel free to get us this gift for our wedding:

Excited for the honeymoon?

YASSSS. Because we will spending 10 wonderful nights in Bali, Indonesia!!

Soon we will be getting our hep B and typhoid shots. I will be packing a suitcase chalked full of malaria pills, Benadryl, Ib prof, a few gallons of pure deet and of course 45 tubes of Cortizone. Oh and to prevent Bali Belly <- yes, this is a thing, I will be armed with pepto AND Imodium. Prepare yourselves for me to return to this blog, like totally zen and stretchy from all the yoga we shall do.

How ya feeling about The Big Day?

Tunnel vision. It’s allll about the tunnel vision. Well, and the right meds. But srsly, I’m fine. As long as I focus on what matters most (marrying Bryan), I don’t think anything else can matter. “The cake melted?” WHO CARES? “There’s a stain on my veil?” OH WELL. As long as there’s food, booze, music and all my favorite peeps…I give zero f*cks.

ZERO

Do you guys want kids?

Just check out the pic:

SUCH a mom right now

That’s actually Jackson, my friend Carey’s son (he is so little there!).

Of course, we waiver on kids every time we see one having a meltdown over Cheddar Bunnies at Target, but I think that’s normal. I’d like a fur baby to wet my whistle, but all the tiny breeds don’t usually mix well with little bbs. Which sucks, because what is cuter than a 2 lb chihuahua and a newborn baby? NOTHING. Honestly, I am more hesitant about the actual pregnancy part. It’s a shame I can’t team up with 8 other ladies and squeeze one out in 1 month, instead of 9.

Overall thoughts:

I am PUMPED. American Gladiators style. Get me in that over-priced white frock! Pronounce that sh*t. Let me slow dance with my Dad to Butterfly Kisses!

I am READY.

Happenings

March 25, 2014April 1, 20147 Comments

Last weekend, my mom and sister came for a visit. I took a half day off work Friday so we could gallivant around the city, try on mini-hats at Joann Fabrics and drink “skinny” margaritas that necessitated Splenda packets. Really, the goal was to knock a few items off the ol’ wedding to-do list and have a little fun while doing so. We scoured the city for a perfect off-the-rack blush toned bridesmaids dress for Megan. Turns out, it doesn’t exist. We pissed off the girl manning the Nordstrom Rack dressing room by bringing additional items into the stall after the initial batch. Literally, I thought she was going to kill me, even though I was SUPER smiley. GOSH. We bought discount fashions at H&M and I made friends with the cashier at Love Culture (a shop for girls 10 years my junior). I was toting my Tory Burch around all proud and sh*t and the cashier girl was like, “My Mom wants one of those Tory Burch purses.” So I guess I’m a Mom now and have NO business shopping at places like Love Culture. Anyway, here is what I got:

Every time I go to the MAC counter I inevitably end up swatching the lipsticks. You see, I am relentless in my search for beautiful lipsticks and the Cremesheen formula at MAC has me hooked. So, while Megan was trying on 73093 pairs of shoes at Nordstrom, I decided to make good use of my time by doing the same with lipstick. As I surveyed the rows of pinkish hues, a beautiful bright shade caught my eye – Sunny Seoul. Anyone else have this shade? I tried ‘er on and after showing Nan, she said, “That shade actually looks really pretty on you!” Like WTF Nan!? So all the other lip colors I wear are hideous? So of course, I bought it and I CAN’T STOP wearing it. I do notice it feathers/bleeds a bit so I may have to invest in a coordinating pencil, or that NYX Wonderpencil or something.

Like the patch of self-tan I missed?

On me

Bryan and I are watching the 7th season of Dexter and here are my thoughts thus far… Thank GOD LaGuerta and Angel got divorced, that was one gross couple. Plus, I couldn’t stand the way LaGuerta said Angel like “Ahnhel”. Deb (Jennifer Carpenter) looks more like an alien than ever. The story is going crazy since Deb found out Dexter is a serial killer and I can’t decide if I hate that she knows. Also, the babysitter? She dresses like a common hooker but is supposed to be this good girl? I don’t get it. Also, I am dreading the series finale because I hear it is terrible. And I just realized that I have said nothing nice about this show. Oh well.

Source

Also, I randomly sprayed this stuff on my skin at Macy’s and am now obsessed and need 40 gallons.

Andthatisall.

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Summer Beauty Wishlist

March 21, 201410 Comments

Good day pretty ladies (and gents)!

As spring days become more plentiful and the heater in my car stays comfortably in the off position, I can only think of one thing.

New makeup.

To some, warmer days mean mountain biking. Or Flip flops. Maybe it’s BBQ season. For me, it’s coral blush, self tanner and pastel lipsticks.

Here is what I am currently lusting after, as the seasons change.

Body

St. Tropez Tanning Mousse

This is a cult favorite and I have seen the results look beautiful. I have been hung up on the $40 price tag but I just need to get over it. Because you can’t really put a price on a good, cancer-free tan!

Laura Mercier Honey Bath in Crème Brûlée

I heard Fleur gush about this and immediately I wanted it. I gotta say, the little honey spatula wand thingy is probably 92% to blame. I mean, how luxurious does this stuff sound?

Glam Glow Hydration Mask

I have been wanting to try this line out for some time now. Only, the clearing and Youthmud tingling formulas didn’t really appeal to me. This one, however is HYDRATING which is what momma is all about right now.

Makeup

Mary-Lou Minizer

Did I tell you that I shattered my MAC Soft and Gentle? SAD DAY, it was. Instead of just repurchasing, I kindof want to give this one, by The Balm a try. It looks just gorgeous, plus, who doesn’t love the cute name?

It Cosmetics Bye Bye Undereye concealer.

I have gone into to Ulta twice JUST to smear a little of this product under my eyes. It truly is an amazing product for dark, blue-purplish under eye circles.

Celebration Foundation Illumination

I am intrigued by this product, having never owned a straight-up powder foundation since my Bare Minerals days. This one claims to be anti-ageing, which I am ALL ABOUT.

Hair

Pureology 21 Benefits

My stylist uses this product on me after she does my highlights and I am in love with the results. It kind of reminds me of the It’s a 10 line, but I have never been overly impressed with that stuff. This leaves my hair feeling soft, silky and STRONG. Oh, and it smells nice!

Wen Cleansing Conditioner

Omgee, am I a Wen girl and I didn’t know it? This stuff has a cult following and I haven’t jumped on the bandwagon simply because I know this stuff does not lather. However, when I really think about it, why do I need the lather? Because I have been programmed to think that lather = clean. If I start using this stuff, I’ll be sure to report my findings!

So that’s it!

What do YOU want to get for this summer?

What We Did Last Weekend

March 18, 2014March 18, 20148 Comments

Hellllo my cotton candy Jelly Bellys!

So, last weekend was kindof a doozie.

Friday I found a pair of wedding shoe candidates at DSW and texted my casual friday OOTD to Megan per usual.

After work, I did not feel like cooking. But then again, I never do. So, we decided to try out North Bend Bar & Grill which is not far from us. Anytime we go out for dinner, I turn into a 12 year old girl on the night of 8th Grade Celebration. I get all excited and want to dress up. So I did (well, dressed up for me).

Kate Spade lipstick in Parisian Pink (a gift from Ray-Ray!)

We arrived to patrons donning Looney Tunes lettermans jackets and women in banana clips. My wine came in a water goblet and was massively over-poured. YASSSS. Bry had a burger and I chose the panzenella. Both were great and we will definitely be back, but I will probably wear a North Face fleece.

We got froyo on the way home and I went insane on the toppings. At home, we switched on a movie and I fell asleep halfway through my pistachio with a chunk of Heath on my lip. ‘Ttractive.

Saturday morning was glorious. As is the case with all Saturday mornings. I finished this book and wasn’t thrilled with the ending.

As some of you may know, Bryan is prepping for CFA III. His third and final exam to become a bone-a-fyed Chartered Financial Analyst. This is the big leagues here guys. The CFA is to Finance as Dumbledore is to wizardry. Or as Miley Cyrus is to buttcheeks.

Wait.

An academic, I am not. So while Bryan busted his behind, clocking hours upon hours watching classroom videos and doing practice tests, I put makeup on. Another kind of studying.

I got Bryan to help me move my vanity back into my new freshly painted lady room. I hung up pastel fairy lights and channeled all the YouTubers I love as I buffed 75 different eyeshadows on to my lids. As evidenced here:

Notice the new white walls??!

After a good chunk of studying, Bryan decided that he wanted to make fish tacos for dinner. I said sure as long as I didn’t have to handle the fish. So we went to the Q and filled our basket with raw fish, tequila and Cholula. Then we came home and Bry mixed up margaritas. You guys. Bryan makes the most PERFECT margarita ever. Of all time. Plus infinity.

Then we decided to have a wedding-update convo whilst buzzing in the late afternoon. It went something like this:

Natalie: “If we have any wedding money leftover after everything is paid for, I want to book a videographer.”
Bryan: “I don’t want a video of our wedding! Who cares??”
Natalie: “Don’t you care about having a video of our wedding we can show our kids someday and watch each year on our anniversary?!”
Bryan: “Our kids won’t want to see that.”

Haahahahaaaa.

Then we had dinner and watched another movie and I fell asleep at 8 PM.

In a word, Sunday was odd. In a good way. We started saying, “Sunday? Funday!”. GOD we are such nerds and not in a good way. Things started out innocently enough. Bry began his studying regime while I holed up in bed with coffee and Dexter (the show, not another man named Dexter).

Then we went to the gym where I halfheartedly ellipticaled through a couple episodes of this new peach of a show:

Then we came home, had sandwiches and Bryan started making margaritas again…

And then we were day drunk 🙂

We blasted gangster rap on the Bose, clinked glasses and basked in the glory of being childless 30-somethings. *Yes, we realize that as soon as we have a child, these days are O-V-E-R. We are trying to take advantage now.

A little while later, we took shots.

I don’t know.

After the haziness faded a bit, I decided it was time to go shopping at the outlet mall. I had two extra 40% coupons for Gap and Banana that were burnin a whole in my pocket. The odds of getting Bryan to agree to a shopping trip with me are about 10,243 to 1 so I was surprised when he said it sounded like fun.

Andiworethisshirt

We both got a few new things and I got a cardigan at Banana for $4.30. No big deal.

After the shopping, I figured we’d make our way home. When Bryan missed the turn for our house I knew our Sunday Funday was not over. He made a few turns and before I knew it, the neon Snoqulamie Casino sign was slowly coming into focus.

Oh law.

Bryan is so cute and I look like Sloth from The Goonies

The place was buzzing. Why. WHY may I ask was a random casino SO packed on a Sunday at 5 o’clock? We entered the casino and I knew I wouldn’t last long…you see, it’s a smoking facility. Bryan went to go see if they had our ol’ standby, video blackjack – while I made my way through the ~~mullets~~ crowd to find the bathroom.

And this is when I found the crown jewel of the Snoqualmie Casino.

THE TOILETS

A fresh piece of plastic just for me!? I wanted to talk to the other women in the bathroom about it. “Did you see the toilet seats!? So cool!!”. But I didn’t. Instead, I went to the bar where I hoped Bryan was feeling the same way I was about having smoke blown in my face by a man wearing a Margaritaville tee shirt 2 sizes too small.

We decided on one drink and one slot machine.

I DON’T understand the appeal of slot machines. It’s like a reverse ATM. There’s not even a cool handle anymore. You just press a button and it takes your money. We lost $10 and I couldn’t take it anymore. END THE MADNESS, I declared.

Kathy ROCKS

We went home and threw our clothes in the washing machine (circa 2005 when we all did this after a night at the bars). And Bryan made us his amazing pizza and we turned on Rush Hour. I promptly fell asleep at 7:30 PM on the couch. Clearly tuckered out from Sunday Funday.

What will next weekend hold?! Cosmic bowling? A trip to Ikea? You just never know with us.