You know, we all spend so much time thinking, talking and lusting about things WE WANT. Which is just sad, really. Not because we shouldn’t be materialistic (there are worse things, me thinks), but because desperation is not a good look on anyone.

So in light of this, I have decided to show you all some things I definitely do not want.

Like, at all. 

THIS DRESS

What is up with the whole neoprene trend? I don’t get how is it cool to wear scuba fabric in our daily lives. While doing scuba? Sure. Washing the dishes? Applying for a loan? No.

The garment pictured, combines the lovely neoprene trend with what appears to be an un-snapped body suit (you know the ones, girls) sewn into the silhouette of a skater dress. Annd, what girl wants a butt-stripe? NOT ME.

THESE JEANS

^And these shoes^

I’ll admit it. When skinny jeans first came out, I was a big skeptic. It wasn’t until months later that I finally caved and gave into that ankle-hugging glory. But this jean trend? It didn’t work on women in the 80’s and it doesn’t work now. Plus, if you have even the semblance of a saddle bag, skintight high-waisted pants aren’t really your BFF anyway.

I have nothing against a combat boot when worn with the appropriate pairing. The above platform versions look like a castoff from that movie The Craft.

The new Velvetines from Lime Crime

I want to make it clear that I am NOT hating on Lime Crime. I frigging love their makeup and philosphpy and just, everything. And because I love them so much, sometimes it is nice when they come out with something I don’t like. The above pictured velvetine in Salem is from the new “Clueless Witch” line which has three dark, vampy shades. One of the shades would work for me, but this deep brown, matte lip color? You can guess what I think it looks like.

The Marc Jobs Lolita Palette

Oh, how I wanted this when it came out last August. I died for it. The packaging is bliss, the colors looked amazing. I was SURE the eyeshadows would be velvety soft, super pigmented and blendable. I have swatched the shadows and tried them on at Sephora a good 87263 times, and you know what? I was not impressed. Not at all.

THESE HAIR TRENDS

This looks like her colorist was drunk. Or high. And you are probably too if you find this hair stripe to be a nice looking trend.

I mean. COME ON. Do I need to say anything about this mushroom pictured above? YEAH, didn’t think so.

 Oh and lastly…

HAREM SWEATPANTS

On men, especially. I mean, are regular sweatpants not roomy enough? All I can think about when I see these are DIAPERS. You could have diapers on under there.

Or these, on anyone besides Aladdin.

Any new trends you can’t stand or things you don’t want?