Sick as a Dog

May 29, 2014June 2, 20149 Comments

Hello friends of mine!

Last weekend, I went home to Kennevick (that’s how I say it, with a V) to knock a couple items off the ol’ wedding to do list, which btw is scarily approaching. It’s like 5 weeks away y’all. SO I went home to dig out a bunch of crap leftover from my sister’s wedding, like extra tea-lights, lanterns and literally 498527 vases. And I put a random pair of Ninja Turtles little boy underwear on McDougal! (sorry so blurry)

When I got in, Megan and I went to Ulta to use coupons for what we thought was 20% off ANY one item in the store. I finally was able to nab the last tube of Bye Bye Undereye in Light and Megan found a $39 Laura Gellar set that had ALL full-size products. Yipee! Standing in the check stand and reading the fine-print I discovered the 20% off only applied to NON-prestige brands. Aka all the drugstore sh*t. AH POOP. I still got the concealer because I had a gift card and it seems this stuff is harder to find than set of real boobies on Real Housewives.

Then I helped my Mom and Barbara (my wedding planner and family friend) rifle through the garage while I had 25 sneezing fits and then resorted to a dusk mask. It got so bad that Nan sent me upstairs to wash all the vases and water pitchers she has been collecting from Goodwill for 95 cents.

We picked up a delicious Round Table pizza for dinner and breadsticks. I tell ya, those breadsticks are crackems. I could devour a box on my own NO PROB. Also, let it be stated that Round Table pizza is the best pizza.

The next day we ran more errands and I struck out at Macy’s and Famous Footwear for my wedding shoes. The alterations lady told me I need about a 1.5 inch heel and because I think kitten heels are super fug, I’m opting for a wedge which apparently is hard to find. An obligatory trip to the hell that is Wal-Mart took place and then I realized I may have judged too soon…

Then we got fro yo and they had toasted coconut and everyone was happy.

And we played rummy that night with Ben, Rachel, Meg and Nan. I overheated in my sweatshirt and did this classy party trick.

On Monday, disaster struck. My Dad is doing all the music for our wedding and needed to get a sneak-peek at the outlet situation at the venue. So we hopped in the car and made the 40 minute journey over. On the way, I went through probs like 20 Kleenex and I mean, they were SOAKED (TMI?). When we got there, I could barely even open my eyes long enough to see where I was going without a string of 3-10 catastrophic sneezes exploding from my already raw nose. Luckily, my Dad found out what he needed to and we went for lunch and candy in downtown Walla Walla. Look at this awesome bandaid I found in the car:

Tuesday I visited my sister Megan’s classroom at Keewaydin Discovery Center and played with the adorable kiddos in her room. She is such an amazing teacher and it is really fun to watch her. Lord knows that girl has some surious patience. Then I hit the road back to Portland and listened to a sappy Nicholas Sparks book on tape which Imustsay, made the drive fly by.

Bry and I had a light dinner and then went to bed for our nighttime reading hour. By 10:30 I knew something was wrong with my tum. Nausea had fully set in. Falling asleep was NOT going to be happening. So I went into the other bedroom and waited for the inevitable. Then I puked. And puked. And puked some more! By the morning, I had logged about 3 hours of sleep and weighed probably 5 pounds less. MISERY you guys.

Yesterday was spent horizontal, with a big ol’ G2 and hours of Scandal. My body was wrecked. I tried to get Bryan to cuddle and hold me for 3 hours but no luck. I know my hair smelled like the vom and despite spraying myself heavily with JoMo, I was a lost cause.

Today is looking brighter and I have some exciting posts coming up to prepare for. Tally ho!

Mini Ulta Haul

May 26, 20144 Comments

Hello sweet friends!

The other day, I ventured out of my mole hole, far and away. Well, like 3 miles. With two Ulta gift cards (one from my pal Jaclyn!) I was going through some maja withdrawals. My addiction to Ulta was fed easily whilst we lived in the Seattle area. My job was mere blocks from one and all the sales people knew me (the girl who goes through a can of dry shampoo every week).

But living here is a different story. The closest Ulta to me is across a bridge and inside of a mall. Lloyd Center to be exact. I remember this mall as a kid because it is situated around a skating rink. Going there now, I felt a pang of sadness as I walked across dated tile and worn fixtures. The mall was indeed, very ODD. A Nordstrom on one end, flanked by darkened nail salons and random, decrepit businesses like “Consumer Opinion Services”.

No matter, I thought as I spied the orange glow from Ulta from a distance. I walked in and instantly noticed this store was unlike any other I have been to. If the lowly staff of three wasn’t enough to throw off my previous expectations, surely the barren, inventory-hungry shelves were. The It Cosmetics section was completely wiped out, save for the odd bright red gloss. The store was out of almost every item I had come in for! And I had driven all this way (cue confused, bewildered face).

But being the resourceful shopper that I am, I ended up with a few items I actually NEEDED and will hopefully serve me well. Here they are!

1. Celebration Foundation Illumination

I have been eying this product for some time now. I went in to get the CC cream but they were sold out (surprise surprise) of almost every shade. I also wanted to get the Bye Bye Undereye in Light but again, SOLD OUT. So I decided to grab this powder foundation to use under my eyes to set my concealer as well as a higher-coverage touch up powder. I love my Mac powder, but this is definitely more coverage.

2. Pureology 21 Benefits

My stylist back in Redmond used this product on me and raved about it. It’s a little spendy at $24 but hopefully it is worth it!

3. OPI Nail Polish in Mod About You

As you can see from my nails in these pics, I am long overdue for a polish change. I ALWAYS pick up this color at Ulta and then end up putting it back. It is a cult favorite and for darn good reason. Might it become my new signature nail color!?

4. It’s a 10 Miracle Leave-In (free gift)

I was ecstatic when the lady threw in this LARGE sample of It’s a 10 into my bag. That NEVER happens to me. I’m usually the girl who is 1 penny short of qualifying for the GWP. You can bet I felt like a high-roller, strolling outta there with my free sample like a BOSS.

All for now! Do you have any of these products??

Happenings

May 22, 2014Leave a comment

Firstly and absolutely most importantly – the Seche Vite top coat DOES NOT WORK (for me). I can’t wait until I figure out where Fred Meyer is so I can run vehemently to the beauty section (Fred Meyer has the BEST makeup section!), grab the Out the Door and kiss that bottle all the way to the check stand. I have painted my nails with L’Oreal Pistachio Dream and a Summer Brights Barbie pink and BOTH chipped within 1 day. Out the Door is the best topcoat ever and I don’t know why I have lived without it by my side for this long.

I saw my friend Lacey this week! I visitied her in Lake Oswego and got to meet her littlest bb Charlotte – such a delightful, rollerific little tot she is. I could die at how cute her kids are. And Lake Oswego? UMMMM – why didn’t anyone tell me it’s Stepford down there? The neighborhoods I passed were like mini estates in Connecticut. So basically, I hope Lacey is ready for me to become a frequent ~~stalker~~, err guest.

I did 20 squat jumps at the gym 8 days ago and my thighs still feel like bulging, sore, hotdogs. OK that is SO gross. I even took a pic to commemorate a time where I did anything in the gym besides mindless cardio. And behold! The ugliest picture ever in existence of me:

I look like a balding, 48 year man whom nobody likes

It’s no secret that I love to go shopping and Portland happens to cater perfectly to such a pastime. However, as of late, I have had what Bryan appropriately named “shoppers paralysis”. I cannot seem to make a decision or pull the trigger on anything. I’ll see an attractive item, examine the price tag, nod in approval and then find myself putting it back moments later. Could it be that my lack of employment is causing me to, dare I say it, actually think before I buy? If so, I need to find the anecdote for my ailment. Although, it may have saved me the other day when I almost bought a dress at BCBG for $200 that made me look like young lad of 12.

And that will conclude our ugly-pic fest for the day. I hope I can remain your humble, normal-looking blogger until next time. If not, here is proof:

::breathes huge sigh of relief::

What’s in my Bag

May 20, 2014May 20, 2014Leave a comment

I am such a sucker for these.

Whether it’s in a magazine, on YouTube or a blog – “what’s in my bag?” gets me err’ time. Esp when it’s like Cara Delevingne’s bag. It straight turns me into that chick from Mean Girls:

Anywho – onto the goods!

Currently I am using the Tory Burch Holly shoulder bag in vintage vechetta. Pretty fancy name for a brown purse, it was a gift from The Bry and I lurrve it.

Thank you Cards

Thanks Target Dollar Bins!

I always have thank you cards with me for some reason. I mean, you never know when you will be sitting at your desk and realize “CRAP! I never sent my aunt a thank you for bringing me cupcakes last week when I had a cold!!” You see? They are essential.

2. Wallet

Why YES. That IS a senior picture of The Bry himself!

This would be my black Hobo wallet purchased at Jackson Hole Bootlegger on sale. It was a HUGE splurge at the time and has served me quite well over the past 3 or so years.

3. Mini Makeup Bag

Valentines Gift from Bry’s Mom!

Contents include NYX Butter Gloss in eclair, Mac Fleur d’Coral lipstick, chapstick from Whistler that was $6, Rimmel blush and Covergirl blush brush, Yaby concealer, Jo Malone samples in Peony & Blush Suede and a mini Origins mascara. Whew!

4. Various Meds

For my ailments.

5. BBW Hand Lotion in Warm Vanilla Sugar

How can you not love this scent? I like it all year long. The formula is actually decently thick and moisturizing too.

6. Glasses and glasses cloth

SNOOZE.

7. Various Coupons

99.9% of the coupons I clip never actually get used. When I do remember to use a coupon, I feel SO triumphant. Like, I could have $200 of useless crap in my cart from Target, but if I used a $1 off coupon on ANYTHING I am SUCH the bargainista!

8. Weekly Planner

Let’s be honest. Since there are no kids, job, or house to run (haha, like I ever did that anyway) my planner now contains such momentous events as “last day to use 20% Ulta coupon” or “Dance Moms Marathon”. You know, the IMPORTANT things in life.

Enthralling, I know! What is a staple in YOUR bag??

Hello Portland

May 16, 20142 Comments

Hello Newman.

Well hi and a ho there!

I am officially blogging at ya live from Portland, Oregon. How mighty good it feels to be done with moving. All the annoying cardboard boxes are broken down and awaiting a she-she recycling bin here in what seems to be the “green” mecca. Summer clothes are hanging in the closets awaiting weekend trips to Canon Beach and of course, local pizza has been ordered. Are we Portlandians or what?

The new place!

It all started last Saturday, when two movers showed up at our house and managed to fit all our worldly possessions into one moving truck. I drove the Jeep down early with the important, ULTRA fragile stuff (read: my makeup, perfumes and the 2 crystal wine glasses we own). I arrived to gray skies and a townhouse that had not been cleaned. SONOFA.

Whatevs. We shoved the 5 boxes or so on top of the rubble (and I do mean rubble, the place was recently renovated) and headed out for much-needed drinks and food. Substantially woozy an well-fed, we blew up the air mattress we brought along for the evening. Our movers weren’t coming until the morning so we had to “rough it” the first night. And rough it, we did.

We went for a little walk around our surroundings and I looked like a regular doofus in m’white tenni-runners. The idiot that is me forgot to pack an extra pair of normal shoes in my overnight bag. Such a tourist.

That night, I woke up no less than 38 times, as did Bryan. Our air mattress, while somewhat comfy, is definitely NOT the king bed we are used to. The next day when the movers arrived to unload the truck – my crazy mind decided it was the perfect time for a mild panic attack. So I peaced and left the boys doing what they do best.

After my walk and brush with hurricane Farrah (my panic attacks warrant the names of catastrophic weather patterns) I was back and BETTAH THAN EVA. Bryan and I spent the day leisurely unpacking, having newspaper fights and stopping for beers on our front stoop petting our neighbors dogs.

I’M KIDDING.

Really, we were hot, smelly and already mad we moved here. I tuckered myself out after our lunch of Jimmy John’s and promptly PTI’FO.

That night, per tradish we ordered pizza for dinner and selected a place called Hot Lips Pizza. Later, it was decided that we liked it. Win! We ate delicious chocolate cookies that my boss sent me off with and went to bed with happy tum-tums.

Monday morning Bry had to go to work, which meant housewife Natalie got to show her true colors. And per Bryan, “she worked it”. I spent the day and I do mean THE DAY getting the place organized. We’re talkin 7:30-5 here folks. Of SOLID work.

Since our new place isn’t as, *ahem* spacious as our 2,600 square-foot house we moved from (imagine), I had to economize a bit. Which means that things like winter clothes, that fancy stock pot, or my 10,000 cookbooks are and will remain in a box. There simply isn’t the closet space for all of our clothes, winter coats, ski pants and all my tap shoes (kidding).Luckily, we have a spare office space off the garage we can use to store any extraneous items.

What else did I do, you ask?

Re-folded and categorized each piece of clothing into neat and tidy piles, put away
Moved furniture up and down the stairs by MYSELF
Arranged the guest room (it is to die)
Completed 4 hip thrusts
Organized all beauty products according to function
Organized all makeup into my vanity
Arranged candle collection in drawers
Sang Baby Beluga by Raffi X 8

By the time Bry got home from work that night, I was FINISHED. And he was astounded. I really wowed him, esp with the guest bedroom. I wish I had taken before and afters. It’s like HGTV quality. The second bedroom might just be the crown jewel of our new digs, probably because I hung up all my girly stuff Bryan hates! tee hee

And because Bry got a fancy new phone and I was feeling all proud of my work, I did a little room tour! (apologies that the camera is the wrong direction, I’m still a novice).

So here we are. Living in a brand new city. Getting lost all time and using our phones to navigate us two blocks to the Nordstrom. Realizing we live in a really cool area by the river where everyone has cute dogs and nice legs. Where we are surrounded by bars, restaurants and plenty of weird Portland-folk who have proven to be the BEST people-watching of probably my entire life.

What’s next? It’s anyone’s guess!

Til next time.

Unemployed

May 13, 20147 Comments

Oh yes.

I just had my last day of work and well, it felt odd. Odd because I will miss all the great people I got to work with. Odd because I no longer am required to wear pants everyday. And odd how I feel an enormous weight suddenly lifted from my shoulders.

No more house to maintain/pay for.

No more job to go to.

No more 40 min commute each way.

And in only one month, no more god-forsaken CFA.

Bryan takes his exam in just under one month and I cannot wait to bid a resounding adieu to this mother-effin 3-year chapter of our lives. Anyone who has gotten a masters, passed the MCAT, or made it through Breaking Bad can sympathize with us, here. It sucks. It is all-consuming, insanely frustrating and means tough sacrifices in every other avenue of your life.

But it’s almost over. And the day when he gets that little email in August and finally gets to insert those three blessed letters after his name, I will ~~drink 4 gimlets~~ breathe a HUGE sigh of relief.

And I’m not even the one taking the exam! Until then, I will continue my routine of making him sub-par dinners, showering him with atta-boys and trying to keep the volume down when I watch Scandal.

I may also be able to start actually enjoying this crazy process of planning my wedding. And lemme tell ya, if it weren’t for my mom, sister Megan and our friend Barbara, this wedding would literally be me and Bryan sitting at a picnic table with a couple pigs in a blanket and a 30 bomb of Bud Light.

Maybe drivin around in this? MAMA WANT.

It’s time to start buying matching bridesmaid bathrobes and embroidering sappy messages on hankies for our moms. It’s time to assemble a reception playlist which will include one or all of the following:

My Humps by the Black Eyed Peas
Happy by Pharell
Africa by Toto
Hold On by Wilson Phillips

YAASSSS.

What else will being unemployed bring? Time for organizing my candle collection, perhaps? Hopefully gourmet-ish meals for Bry and I, an impeccably kept home and careful life reflection. More likely though, it will include watching Ellen on the daily, “yoga” in the living room wearing pajamas and starting happy hour at noon.

What would you do if you were me? Lemme know.

Happenings

May 10, 2014May 8, 20141 Comment

(arithmetic edition)

At the end of my work days, I have noticed terrible things trending on my face. Like, ALL my eyemakeup is under my eyes. Mascara AND eyeshadow. Also usually my eyebrows are all brushed down. You know the perma-frown? So usually I beat my head on the steering wheel, repeating “stupid, stupid, stupid.” Is it the warming weather? The lunchtime ~~yogs~~ sweatfests? Whatever the case, girlfriend needs some help. In the form of a mild waterproof mascara and eyeshadow primer. And my coworkers are nice and don’t say a peep to me about my HORRIFIC panda eyes. They’re so polite!

I look for babies on the daily at petfinder.com. And up comes hundreds that all need me. It is pure torture – I want them ALL. And Bry says we can’t get one until the CFA is over so that means only another month or so! Is it weird that I already want it to be our flower girl? Another prerequisite for said pooch is that it has to be okay with actual human babies, just in case I happen to give birth to one. Which SUCKS because most of the chi pups “do well with kids over 13”. POOP. I just want a 4 lb chihuahua with excellent temperament, who will lay sweetly in the crib with my future baby. And I’ll snap pictures of them wearing pearls together. Is that too much to ask?

I have 2 gift cards to Ulta and I am dyyyying. I cannot decide what to get. Here are the possibilities:

Bye Bye Undereye in Light
Urban Decay All Nighter Setting Spray (this would be a boring re-purchase)
Too Faced Lip Injection
Hello Flawless! powder (it’s so perfect)
A bunch of drugstore stuff

Guys, I am selling Cliff. It’s truly the end of an era. I have driven him since HIGH SCHOOL. Don’t laugh. Anyway, my Dad said he wanted him and then decided against it when my little sister bought a new car and abandoned her champagne Camry (no name). So now Cliff is going to be sold and it makes me a little sad. Again, don’t laugh. Also, since I have been sans Cliff these days, I have been driving Bry’s Jeep. I have all the bells and whistles now. A working CD player, defrost and ALL the doors lock and unlock. It is a privileged life I lead. Yesterday I blasted the Garden State Soundtrack like it was 2004 and felt SO cool.