Last Friday, despite the projected 108 degree temps in Keneweez, I decided to drive home.

I made myself an iced coffee and left work around 2:45 on Friday and promptly hit the road. I stopped at a gas station before Hood River, filled my gas tank, grabbed a Red Bull and a small bag of pretzels and I was back on the road. Then I got THE CALL. It was David letting me know that a bunch of oil train trucks derailed outside Hood River and traffic was being routed over to the Washington side of the river. “NO BIG,” I thought, as I kept my foot on the gas. I figured traffic might be a bit slow going over the bridge, but was fine as my book on CD was slaying and I had an emergency tube of Spree in the glove compartment.

NOT THE CASE.

I was in the car for over 10 HOURS you guys. 10, grueling, tiresome, pee-inducing hours.

But Natalie, why didn’t you turn around?!

Did George Washington turn around when the Deleware River got a little rocky?

Did Ghandi stop fasting when he realized a plate of hummus and pita sounded AMAZING?!!

I DON’T THINK SO.

Did you end up peeing your pants from the coffee and Red Bull?

Very nearly. After I got over the bridge, I pulled over at the first rest stop and the women’s line was about 15 people deep. Definitely a reasonable length for someone who had to pee at a normal rate, but NOT ME. So I did what any normal person would do in my situation. I walked ran behind the bathrooms, down a little path by some trees and peed in the straight up bushes. Yes, my butt cheeks could easily have been spotted. And no, I did not care.

Then I hopped back in my car and bid the miserable-looking women in the bathroom line adieu as I squirted some cake-scented anti-bacterial gel on my hands.

I got home around 11 pm that night. Nan lovingly stayed up on the couch and awaited my arrival. She sympathized with me as I shoveled in leftover pasta salad and told her how I almost peed in an old Starbucks cup in my car. Oh Jesu, what an ordeal.

The next day Nan and I had a good chat in her ginormous bathroom.

Meg texted us that Tate had a little fever and our plans of getting out the kiddie pool quickly changed to sitting around trying to make him happy. But we did try on the adorable Hanna Andsersson swim trunks that David bought for him!

That night, Nan and I headed back home for some wine and bbq.

My mom’s BFF Barbara came over and so did my Auntie Mary. After a few glasses, I whipped out my phone and showed them Snapchat and basically was a sorcerer. They were all laughing so hard and saying the absolute funniest things everr.

Then Megan let me give Tate a bath in my mom’s big bath tub and it was the sweetest thing everrrrr.

The next day I woke up, showered and we played with Tate in his perfect little nursery and ran a couple errands.

I hit the road a few hours later and was able to make it back to Portland within a few hours. I will NEVER take normal travel times for granted EVER AGAIN.

Last weekend, my favorite sissy Rachel came to visit me!

She doesn’t look that thrilled to be in the picture but I promise, she was ecstatic.

We actually had a pretty chill weekend. Her cat Mosi licked all the foundation off my makeup brushes, we conversated with Megan and Tate, and sampled Four Loko anti-freeze. Here are some more of the highlights:

Haha highlights… maybe it was the long work trip I had on Friday or maybe it was the frozen marg I had at lunch on Saturday or maybe it was the mopey weather but I partied HARD when we got home…

Cue the nap party!

And then I woke up and decided to do Rachel’s makeup. I put 4239983472 different products on her.

AND THEN. Rachel brudded m’hurr

And we FaceTimed Annie, who is quite possibly, my favorite human. At the time, I was buffing Rache’s foundation in with the Beauty Blender  (which Annie thinks is really fun to watch). She even joined in with her own make-shift Beauty Blender…

#itsanegg

But MAN OH MAN. How gorgeous is this girl?

We met up with some palz at Sellwood Public House #skittlesinfusedvodka and were seated next two a table of douche canoes (as evidenced here).

Then we came home and the party continued!

Such a great weekend with RJ – she is truly a gem.

In other news, Tate remains theeee sweetest angel baby of all time.

He was dreaming of his Auntie Nataweeee

He now crawls everywhere, uses his walker to crash into anything and everything and is pulling himself up. My heart cannot take it.

In other news, I FELL OFF A SKI LIFT.

This happened a few weeks ago and I DO NOT care to talk about it. What I will say is that I was probably 5 feet off the ground and right before I hit the ground I yelled, “WHOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAA!” kindof over-dramatically but like, I thought I was falling to my death. I was with David and Andy and they were both good sports about it. David tried to save my life but was forced to make a game-time decision as we rose higher and higher on the lift.

I also had to awkwardly get back in line in front of everyone who saw the whole thing and my goggles were askew but I didn’t want to stop and fix them because I was trying to hurry and i had upper-lip sweat.

Taken on that fateful day

And lastly, I got to see my bestie Holly at the Clackamas Whitewater Festival!! We camped, ate snausages and peed outside. We also left with some pretty awesome NRS swag (Thanks Mopes!).

Here we are with Meira who is very nearly, the best dog of all time.

And lastly, allllll the dresses are out at alllll the stores. Target is just absolutely killing me with their stuff and I feel like they have so much to choose from this year. Unfortunately for me, a new pair of specs and a looming root canal are keeping my pennies in my pocket, but like, how cute is this little number? Note: I did not buy this #selfrestraint.

My sister Megan’s biggest pet peeve is that I don’t remove my socks when trying on clothes.

AND that’s my life.