Goodbye Summer

September 11, 20181 Comment

Summer is officially over and that makes me kind of sad.

It is my favorite season. It is happy. Sunny. Dressing for the day is effortless. Giant sunglasses are always appropriate and eating half a box of popsicles is totally acceptable. So as I tossed in a couple of pumpkin spice wax melts into m’trusyty Yankee Candle warmer the other night, I thought, “I never even said goodbye to summer”. So here it is, folks.

Adieu. Adieu. To you and you and summer.

At the end of this summer, we planned to meet my family in Priest Lake for our annual family vacation. First though, we met up with some friends from the North and spent a few days in Coeur d’Alene. Even though the smoke levels were at an all-time high, we ended up having a great time with their family. We also got to spend some time with sister Amy and my beautiful sister in law Shannon!

One of the days, we decided to brave Silverwood. And lemme just tell ya, theme parks ain’t NO place if you are with child. While the crew was having a blast on roller coasters…(or log rides)

I was off to the side like this: (check out the snaggle!)

As the week progressed, my family ended up deciding to cancel the cabin on Priest Lake due to the piss poor air quality. It was sad but did not kill our spirits. We ended up driving to good ol’ Kennewick for a family shanghai tourney (with cash prizes!) and some time at the FAIR.

Can you believe in all of the years I lived in the Tri, I never once went to the fair. Ok, maaaaybe in like, middle school but it had been some yurrs. I decided to commemorate the momentous occasion by dressing the part. Mostly though, I just wanted an excuse to not shower, eat an elephant ear, wear dirty Adidas slides and American Eagle jean shorts circa 2004.

Oh, I also sported some black liner ala Junior High.

Sister Meg was sick in bed so we got to take Taterbug with us and had THEE best time toting him around the fair.

David ended up winning him the most giant stuffie of all time doing the basketball game.

The two best parts about the fair and Tate’s relationship to it were going on rides and using the bathroom. He is currently in potty training mode and peeing outside is a new, fun option for him. A couple of times he started pulling his pants down to go pee in the middle of the rides and we had to pick him up to pee behind a dumpster. He fit right in!

The rides were also tough for little Tate. E tried her best to get him excited about a little baby roller coaster but he just wasn’t having it. Luckily, Uncle David is a master of distraction and got him to ride the Wiggly Worm with no issues. And he loved it!

The end of our trip was spent with ice cream at McDonalds,

and taking tons of selfies.

We returned to Portland that weekend and had a day to spare so David and I ended up doing a little maternity shopping (more on THAT later) and picnicking in Washington Park.

And while maternity shopping was fine and all, buying baby clothes is infinitely better as evidenced here:

Our picnic that day was so quintessential Portland. We went to the Saturday market and purchased Portland Cider Company cider, Portland Creamery herbs de provence goat cheese, Olympic Provisions sausage and a cheesy and salty pastry from Grano. All I needed to really look the part was a monocle.

Benefit Brow Contour Pro Review

August 30, 2018Leave a comment

Hello my jiggly cheesecakes!

It has been quite a while since good ol’ Influenster sent me anything. I was beginning to think I had totally fallen off their radar and that they had completely forgotten about me and my need for complimentary products. But then I got a survey and fiddle-dee-dee! I received a little box in the mail containing a product just for me, and for FREE. Pretty neat.

Seriously, sign up for Influenster here. It’s totally free AND you can opt out of the emails. Especially if you have decent numbers on social media!

This time it was all about brows. Enter the Benefit Brow Contour Pro!

Obviously Benefit is killing it will their whole line of brow products. The packaging is killer, the products work great and the offer a wide selection of colors.

I received mine in Brown/Light since my hair is (let’s be honest) constantly a different shade of bronde.

This product features four different “products” in one, including two brow shades (one lighter and one darker) a definer and a highlighter. YOU KNOW whoever masterminded this creation was a child of the 80’s because, duh:

Here is the way Benefit recommends the product be applied:

APPLICATION

Other than the fact that I thought the tip of the brow colors were a bit large (I am used to the ABH Brow Whiz) I was very pleased at how easy the colors applied. They deposited color throughout my brows evenly and easily. The definer shade does require a bit of blending as the color was not a dead-on match for my skin. I found that with a small flat brush, it blended out like a dream.

FORMULA

I would say the formula is a bit softer than the ABH Brow Whiz, but not as creamy as a typical liner. I like eyebrow pencils to be a bit firmer, as the idea of a smudgy pencil in my brows makes me cringe. The pigmentation for all four colors is very good.

WEAR

This product lasted very well on me which is sayin’ alot because right now I am actually a bit on the oily side. I found that it did not fade in any funky way, yet removing it with my typical face wash was a breeze.

What products DO YOU love for the brows?!

Halfway Done

August 16, 20182 Comments

Salutations lollipops!

Thought I’d do a bit of a check-in on this whole growing a baby thing that is apparently happening to me. I am officially around 18 weeks but like, that is almost halfway so I am just rounding up. In fact, I kind of despise counting everything in weeks. 18 weeks is a little over 4 months so why can’t everyone just stick to that? Then when the baby is actually born, it starts all over again. “Little Emma here is 43 weeks old!” I MEAN. staahhhp.

By the way, we are NOT naming her Emma. Nothin’ against the name but it won’t be my kid’s.

And speaking of names, this sh*t is hard. And there are SO many traps to fall into, for example:

Picking an old-timey name you love but that has made a HARD comeback. Example: Meg and I used to looove the name Olivia but now everyone and their sister is named Olivia. Same thing with Madeline. The kids book with the 12 little girls in 2 straight lines? Set in Paris? COME ON. Of course I love this name. But again, there are about 83473 Madelines (or Madeleines or Madelyns) and also Madisons. So when someone yells out “Maddy!” at soft-play about 8 little chubby faces turn to look.
Picking an intricate spelling to give the name a fresh spin. Just, no. I am so done with this. Christina becomes Krysteenah. Jessica becomes Jysikah. For the love of God, no more. I know it is tempting but just stick to the norm people.
Trying to be TOO creative. So, I get it. You don’t want to name yer little tike Tom or Jim or Sarah. But you are also not Gwenyth or Kim K and know you’re not famous enough to have an Apple or Chicago or Blanket (like poor MJ). But like, you want something kinda cool. It is easy to convince yourself that putting together two weird sounds is all of the sudden a name, but stay strong, because it isn’t.

For me, girl names are easy. I like about 823734 of them. But so far David has vetoed:

Savannah
Aurora (Rory for short, like Rory Gilmore!)
Dorothy (my dear G-Dot’s name, may she rest in peace. however this is still a middle name possibility)
Noel (which my parents almost named me)

Tell me your thoughts on these good or bad.

Other new and exciting ventures on this blissful journey of being with-child include:

Acne! These hormones are just completely kicking my ass lately. I am using a spot treatment with benzoyl peroxide but clearly (or should I say not-so-clearly) it isn’t doing much.
Bone pain! My tailbone especially hurts like a MOTHER but also my back.
Heartburn! As if I did not have this bad enough before, the heartburn is real and unrelenting.

But wanna know what has sucked the MOST!?

Not bein’ able to booze…Yeah, I said it. It was MUCH easier at the beginning of this ordeal when I felt sick because at that point nothing sounded good. But now that I am back to my old self plus a ponch that could be mistaken for just a large lunch at Chipotle, I miss my vodka sodies man. I miss wine. I miss it. All. And I have to do this until January. JANUARY. No yule tide libations for me. No spiked cider or hot peppermint schnocholate. It is moderately depressing at the very least. And I know I can have a little, but at this point it is just a tease. One small glass of wine is like eating any less than 10 potato chips. It’s juuust enough to make you want more.

Despite all this, I have managed to do fun things. Such as:

Go to the Oregon Coast and take picture like this:

(it’s a Gare-Bear)

Run

Stand up for an entire Timbers game

So I guess it’s not allllll bad. Just mostly bad.

It’s Baby Time

July 13, 2018October 11, 20183 Comments

Say whaaat!?

Yes, my friends. I am with child. EW. That sounds gross. But I also do not care for the word “pregnant” or “prego” or the worst offender, “preggers”. I’d rather just say I am growing a baby or something more matter-of-factual.

And really, I do not expect you to care. When I hit 25, people’s babies starting popping up like spring tulips alllll over my socials and while my official sentiments were always something along the lines of “Congrats! What a cutie!”, inside I was like:

And also. Before you say “well that was quick”, like my sister Megan lovingly pointed out upon us telling her…Yeah! It was really quick. We were trying, but not for that long. I am about 3 months into this thing and as per usual, I plan to tell you allll about it.

But first, a disclaimer. Or rather, several disclaimers.

I will not be over-sharing.

There will be absolutely no TMI anywhere near this blog. If you want that kindof thing, there is a lady on YouTube who filmed herself having her baby IN A CREEK. So go watch that. I did.

2. I will be speaking my truth.

98% of being with child, having the thing and being it’s mom genuinely freaks me out and not in a good way. I have decently high generalized anxiety and I plan to talk about it. I am overwhelmingly excited and happy to share love with this person, but if you are expecting a glowing, healthy-eating mother-to-be, wearing floral crowns and getting maternity pictures taken at sunset than BYE.

3. I mean no offense.

I am well versed in the mommy-shaming that goes on everywhere, all the time. I am aware that MY opinions on the subjects I may or may not decide to write about may evoke certain feelings or thoughts in others. Please know that I mean no harm, no offense, am always happy to learn and am just doing my best here guys.

So now, onto the things.

As previously stated, I have about 6 more months until this thing makes it’s grand entrance in to the world. The logistics so far have been fine. We have seen and heard a heartbeat, talked about vitamins and I had a blood draw (where I nearly passed out). I am seeing a midwife and she is wonderful. This worked out well, because my therapist recommended I use both a midwife and a doula to try and help with anxiety. Which leads me to….

MY MENTAL STATE

After I took the two initial tests to confirm the state I thought I might be in, I was SHOCKED. See pictures for proof:

Due to my age, my sister’s difficulty in conceiving and just my dumb luck I just thought it would take me a while to conceive. Not the case. Since then, I have continued to exist in almost an out-of-body state. This whole thing has not come easy or natural to me. The app I downloaded to compare the baby to a piece of fruit each week had to be deleted. I just couldn’t look. The book my doctor gave me to read? Still sitting on the kitchen table where it will never be touched. I divert my eyes when I spot pregnant women on the street or see a “hospital bag must-haves!” post on Pinterest. I feel paralyzed. I don’t wanna know. My anxiety has flared up harder than a tiki torch. But luckily, I have David to lean on. I truly do not know where I would be without him. I also have my family, friends, MEIRA, medication, and weekly sessions with my therapist.

My rock.

THINGS THAT HAVE SUCKED

Nausea. I started wearing Sea Bands from the get-go and whether or not it is a placebo effect…I just don’t care. I started feeling a teensy bit better when I wore them so suck it. I now have three pairs of them in both black and gray. Plus by wearing them I am always only a pair of spandex away from sweatin’ to the oldies!

My sense of smell. The lady 2 blocks away wearing one too many sprays of Shalimar…I can smell you. The 22-year-old bike courier with taco pits who just stepped off the elevator…I can smell you. Co-worker who had an onion bagel for breakfast – yesterday….I can smell you. I should really go down to the Portland Police and offer my services to sniff out drugs because… I CAN SMELL YOU.

Impatience. As of late, I do not have time for anyone or anything. Lady on the train blocking everyone from an aisle with several available seats with her giant Ikea bag filled with cat food – I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR YOU. Computer monitor at work that keeps flashing “cannot detect display port”, I do not have time for you! Even my own mother, telling me a story about her next door neighbor’s daughters graduation party where they rented an entire taco truck! Mom, love you. I don’t have time for you.

Acne. Not only is my forehead decorated with lovely bumps, but my skin type has also completely changed. My skin is noticeably more oily and don’t get me started on my hair. I used to be able to go 4 days between hair washings and now I am lucky to make it to every other day. I can srsly empty a can of dry shampoo in my hair and it makes no difference.

Bone Pain. My bones they are a shiftin’. Man that grosses me out. My tail bone as well as hip bones are just in a constant state of ouch. I feel like my body is being rearranged and I have no say in the matter.

I could go on and on guys. Food aversions, drippy nose, FATIGUE! You name it, I’ve got it going on. The other night, David and I planned to actually GO OUT FOR DINNER together, a rarity given all the aforementioned inflictions. I got ALL READY and then a big ol’ wave of nausea just swept over me and we had to abandon ship. I had to take off freshly applied makeup! FRESHLY. applied. Of course I first snapped a photo.

So that’s where we are. Complaining, being impatient and eating a pack of Strawberry Sour Punch Straws a day. Let’s do this thing.

Shows I Need the Next Season Of

June 22, 20182 Comments

Hi friends.

I have been a little under the weather the past couple weeks. And while feeling sick is no trip to Disneyland, my TV-watching game has been nothin but strong. So if you’re looking for a new show to become addicted to, LOOK NO FURTHER.

Peaky Blinders

Or should I say, “Peaky F*ckin Blinders”? I’ll admit the very first episode of this show moved a wee bit slow for my taste but I PROMISE it picks up very quickly. It is set in England in the 1920’s (the costumes! i die!) and follows a gang known as the Peaky Blinders. It is definitely dark, dramatic, and bloody. The cast is chain smoking, swearing, and downing whiskey in every single scene and after watching you may feel like beating someone up. The show just sucked me in and David and I barreled through them in a matter of a couple months.

Ozark

Ok this show makes my anxiety flare up like tiki torch but idc because it is THAT good. Jason Bateman is definitely NOT in a typical role for him, but he plays the part perfectly. Money laundering never felt so possible! There has only been one season of this show (they are making a season two) and it is doable over a long weekend.

The O.A

This is truly a WEIRD one but I promise it is well worth the watch. The story line is just incredible and although it is completely bizarre, both David and I were just GLUED. There is only one season as well (season two is on the way) so it is not too much of a time commitment.

The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel

Now for a comedy! I knew I would fall madly in love with this show as soon as I found out that it was created by Amy Sherman-Palladino (the creator of Gilmore Girls). I was HOOKED within the first 30 seconds mostly because of the amazing sets (I WANT her apartment!), costumes and the main character. The episode where she goes through her bedtime routine had me quaking. This show is clever, hilarious, and just all around amazing.

Wild Wild Country

Ok, so their wont be a season two of this but like…where have I been? All of this sh*t went down in OREGON and I had never heard of it before!! If you haven’t heard of the Rajneesh or this documentary, GIVE IT A WATCH. Again, the first episode is a little slow but then it picks up speed rapidly. What had me interested was a comment David’s grandmother made when she heard they were making a documentary about it. She said, “I remember Portland back then, you couldn’t find a red dress anywhere in the whole city!” HELLO I’M INTRIGUED NOW.

13 Reasons Why

Season two leaves us on kind of another cliff hanger and I for one need certain people to be BROUGHT TO JUSTICE. If you haven’t had the chance to watch this show, I think it brings up lots of good questions. I also think it would be wise to watch it if you have kids or are around kids frequently. Being someone who suffers from mental health issues, I think this show can do a lot of good. I know it has been criticized for glamorizing suicide and in a way I can see that. I do not think teenagers or children should watch this show, especially alone. But taken in the right way, this show does a great job of showing the pressures kids face and how isolated they can feel.

Dr. Foster

This one’s a thriller! The main character suspects her husband of cheating on her in the first episode and it just unravels from there. I love BBC shows or anything set in another country and this one was no exception. I burned through the episodes so quick and I heard a rumor that season three is a possibility!

Wentworth

I have talked about this show before but I have to mention it again. I like it as much as Orange is the New Black. There, I said it. I love the characters, the accents, the villains, everything! It is the lady-prison I live for. And I am dying for the next season to land in my Netflix so I can have a binge of epic proportions.

Girlfriends Guide to Divorce

OK. So this show ain’t winning any Emmy’s but I still love it. The story lines are funny, the acting is pretty good and the outfits are gorgeous. It is a feel-good, girly show and it provides mindless hours of entertainment. I also like that it is set in L.A. I love shows set in L.A. Just don’t want to live there.

Grace & Frankie

Pretty sure I’ve already praised this show multiple times but believe me, it is worth it. Need I say more about the actresses? The story line is clever and the writing is hilarious. I freakin’ love this show.

Give me your recommendations! I need more shows 🙂

Honeymoon in Palm Springs

June 14, 20181 Comment

Hello peach rings!

The second installment of our marriage + honeymoon is coming atcha. Hope that’s cool.

David’s lovely grandmother Rosalie gave us a week stay in Palm Springs at a condo which she won at an auction. This gift pretty much determined our honeymoon destination because, free. Then we used miles to purchase the airfare and a rental car turned out to be $120 for the whole week. So basically Palm Springs paid US to be there.

Here were the highlights:

Before leaving Portland I had my nails done and got the chrome/pearly powder placed OVER a peachy colored shellac. It. Was. SO PRETTY. The guy doing my nails kept saying how good it looked, which never happens to me.

Upon arrival in PS, we were starving and immediately sought sustenance before going to Trader Joes for groceries. Because everyone knows that going to Trader Joes hungry usually results in Joe Joes, at LEAST one jar of cookie butter and far too many blocks of cheese.

David had two strong drinks and was immediately on vacation.

After shopping, we took 3 hour naps because that is what you do when you go on a honeymoon in your mid to late thirties. Then we went to Tommy Bahama for dinner because I like their coconut shrimp. Here we are with with some champs.

Another night we went to the Thursday Market in downtown Palm Springs. It was pretty fun to stroll along and people watch. Then we happened upon theee most charming macaron stand appointed by two strapping gays living their best cookie life. I tried to be friends with them but the macaron madness was real and apparently they were not in the market for a new sisterrr…darn. We did purchase three cookies, one of which was sparkly!

Then we went to a restaurant/lounge called Melvyn’s which is supposedly famous and listened to a man sing and pretend to play the piano. He also pretended to play the uke. It was painfully obvious that he wasn’t playing for real and so after one drink we asked our server about it to which she replied, “No comment”. We paid our bill and promptly PTFO. Are you kidding me!?

Saturday night we scored tickets to The Winehouse Experience at The Purple Room, which was a far cry from the fake and dismal performance at Melvyn’s. The 9-man band consisted of guitar, piano, sax, brass, drums and 2 male BACK-UP DANCERS. The headliner paying tribute to the lategreat Miss Winehouse was AMAZING and the show was spectacular.

Each day looked pretty much the same for us. Wake up, breakfast, get ready, go out, come home, take nap, get in pool, clean up, go to dinner. The pool portion was probably my favorite…

One morning we decided to visit Pioneer Town, which was about an hour’s drive. Allegedly, Pioneer Town was founded by investors like Roy Rodgers and Gene Autry and was the set for dozens of old western movies.

We arrived around 10 am on a weekday and the place was quite literally, a ghost town…

So, we did what anyone would do. Walked around and took selfies until the restaurant opened at 11:00 am.

Oh and did a little yoga…

Then we went to Pappy and Harriets for lunch!

Other fun outings included: shopping (duh), enjoying cold drinks pretty much everywhere and mostly RELAXING!

New earrings

Paparazzi pic at Jamba Juice

All in all, Palm Springs was wonderful. We thoroughly enjoyed our week of blissful relaxation and will definitely go back someday.

Married

May 22, 20183 Comments

OH hi.

So….yes. We got married! We went on our honeymoon! We are now back to the grind and before I get swept up in another random skin care product or list of summer must-haves, I thought I owed it to you all (and myself, really) to make a little post about the wedding. Separate post covering the honeymoon later.

David and I knew we wanted a really small, laid-back ceremony. If you have been married before, you know why. To me, weddings are ~~bullsh*t~~ errr, I mean a totally unnecessary waste of money. Large weddings with all the pomp and frills are soooo not me, not David, not US. We knew early on that we were either going to the courthouse with our parents as witnesses and a small celebration after, or doing an intimate ceremony somewhere private. Meghan Markle, I am not.

We ended up choosing a beautiful rental home on the Oregon Coast with a stunning view. We had close friends stay with us in the house and family stayed close by. My best friend Bekah married us on the deck and we had dinner, drinks and cake right after. I will include more random details below.

The night before the wedding, everyone came over and hung out. We had pizza and wine. It was perfect.

The next morning I got up and David and I polished up our vows before heading down to the beach with E, Tate and my fam.

Then we went back, I showered and started my makeup. It is after all, the most important thing about anyone’s wedding day ;). David kept emphasizing that he wanted me to “look like me” so I had to hold myself back from going FULL glam like I may or may not have done. I let my freckles show through, I kept the eyes and lips really natural and I kept everything soft.

Of course I did wear falsies because there was no way that WASN’T happening. These are the Velour Silk Lashes in “Trust Me Try It”. They were SO soft and fluffy and absolutely gorgeous. I got the sparkly flower crown from Ross. I KNOW. Wiiiiig.

Then I put my dress on and without really planning it, did a “first look” with David on the beach. **I LOATHE “first looks” or anything cheesy or remotely resembling sappy wedding traditions like these.** David had already seen me in the dress, so really it was more of a “hi, i am marrying you in a little bit” moment. Which I loved.

E and I ended up getting Tate dressed which was another highlight of my day because she is just so loving and sweet with him. Meg had picked him out the SWEETEST little ring-bearer outfit and everyone about died when they saw him. Sidenote – isn’t my sister gorgeous? Both my sisters are so darn pretty.

And then we got married. David’s vows to me were amazing and mine were definitely sub-par comparatively. We cried because this marriage and our relationship is so freaking meaningful to us. We’ve gone through so much together so it got emosh REAL fast.