Salutations lollipops!

Thought I’d do a bit of a check-in on this whole growing a baby thing that is apparently happening to me. I am officially around 18 weeks but like, that is almost halfway so I am just rounding up. In fact, I kind of despise counting everything in weeks. 18 weeks is a little over 4 months so why can’t everyone just stick to that? Then when the baby is actually born, it starts all over again. “Little Emma here is 43 weeks old!” I MEAN. staahhhp.

By the way, we are NOT naming her Emma. Nothin’ against the name but it won’t be my kid’s.

And speaking of names, this sh*t is hard. And there are SO many traps to fall into, for example:

1. Picking an old-timey name you love but that has made a HARD comeback. Example: Meg and I used to looove the name Olivia but now everyone and their sister is named Olivia. Same thing with Madeline. The kids book with the 12 little girls in 2 straight lines? Set in Paris? COME ON. Of course I love this name. But again, there are about 83473 Madelines (or Madeleines or Madelyns) and also Madisons.  So when someone yells out “Maddy!” at soft-play about 8 little chubby faces turn to look.
2. Picking an intricate spelling to give the name a fresh spin. Just, no. I am so done with this. Christina becomes Krysteenah. Jessica becomes Jysikah. For the love of God, no more. I know it is tempting but just stick to the norm people.
3. Trying to be TOO creative. So, I get it. You don’t want to name yer little tike Tom or Jim or Sarah. But you are also not Gwenyth or Kim K and know you’re not famous enough to have an Apple or Chicago or Blanket (like poor MJ). But like, you want something kinda cool. It is easy to convince yourself that putting together two weird sounds is all of the sudden a name, but stay strong, because it isn’t.

For me, girl names are easy. I like about 823734 of them. But so far David has vetoed:

• Savannah
• Aurora (Rory for short, like Rory Gilmore!)
• Dorothy (my dear G-Dot’s name, may she rest in peace. however this is still a middle name possibility)
• Noel (which my parents almost named me)

Tell me your thoughts on these good or bad.

Other new and exciting ventures on this blissful journey of being with-child include:

• Acne! These hormones are just completely kicking my ass lately. I am using a spot treatment with benzoyl peroxide but clearly (or should I say not-so-clearly) it isn’t doing much.
• Bone pain! My tailbone especially hurts like a MOTHER but also my back.
• Heartburn! As if I did not have this bad enough before, the heartburn is real and unrelenting.

But wanna know what has sucked the MOST!?

Not bein’ able to booze…Yeah, I said it. It was MUCH easier at the beginning of this ordeal when I felt sick because at that point nothing sounded good. But now that I am back to my old self plus a ponch that could be mistaken for just a large lunch at Chipotle, I miss my vodka sodies man. I miss wine.  I miss it. All. And I have to do this until January. JANUARY. No yule tide libations for me. No spiked cider or hot peppermint schnocholate. It is moderately depressing at the very least. And I know I can have a little, but at this point it is just a tease. One small glass of wine is like eating any less than 10 potato chips. It’s juuust enough to make you want more.

Despite all this, I have managed to do fun things. Such as:

Go to the Oregon Coast and take picture like this:

(it’s a Gare-Bear)

Run

Stand up for an entire Timbers game

So I guess it’s not allllll bad. Just mostly bad.