September Favorites + 1 Un-Favorite

October 1, 20135 Comments

Happy October Beautiful People!

I think I shall try to make this a monthly thing, n’est pas?

So, Bry and I are kindof making a large purchase in the near future… Hence, my pennies are presh. I don’t like to waste em on items like chalky eye shadow or lipstick which makes me look like an alien. I do m’research. I hunt for bargains and have googled “(insert makeup brand here) Coupon Code” more times than you can imagine. Here are the standouts from my September beauty regime and, life.

Makeup

Cailyn Tinted Lip Balm in Big Apple

I got this in my September Ipsy, which I am in love with. These little bags evoke squeals of joy when I spot that familiar pink metallic packaging peeking out from behind the wad of junk mail in our mailbox. But this past month, I got absolute poop. No other way to say it. POOP. The only saving grace was this tinted lip balk which I have found myself reaching for on more than one occasion. It’s moisturizing properties are questionable but the color is SO fetch.

The Rocket Volume Mascara.

This mascara is just wonderful. Unlike most I’ve tried, it can stand on it’s own with 2-3 coats. Most of the time, I have to combine three mascaras to get the results that this alone can give me. The only drawback would be the struggle to get it off…see my thoughts at the end of this post on my failed attempt to do so.

NYX Jumbo Eye Pencil in Iced Mocha

I really like this line of jumbo pencils from NYX and have a few different colors (Milk is another great one to have). I find that I use them most as shadow bases or smudged underneath my lower lash line and kinda smoked out. The colors are gorgeous and the shade range is unbeatable.

Wet’n’Wild Mega Last Lipstick in 24 Carrot Gold

Omg. I think I might be slightly obsessed with this color. I have never experimented with orange-toned lip colors and I must say, I am in love. It will look great in Hawaii when I’m not so ghastly white (we leave in about 2 weeks, yay!).

Beauty

BIOTIN.

Aw, girl! Seriously just start taking this. Today. It takes a while to start noticing the effects, but my hair has grown faster than ever before and my nails? WAY stronger and thicker. Plus, it comes with the added bonus of freaking out your fiance when he asks about them and you tell them they are prenatal vitamins (not a total lie since biotin is in prenatals). Muahahhhahaaaha.

Wet’n’Wild Fergie Nail Polish in Velvet Lounge.

For the WSU game, I decided to really get all Coug’ed out with some nail art. I got this color along with a gray and created some intense Fangirl nails. I really like this crimson because it’s not too deep and not too cherry.

The Beauty Blender

#latetotheparty

Yes, it’s worth the hype and the $20 price tag. My above pictured new BB and I will have a long, faithful relationship. Free of latex and full of dewy-faced makeup days.

Hurr Curr

Tresemme Heat-Tamer Spray

As of late, I have actually been blow-drying AND straightening my hair. Gasp! I know this a major no-no when trying to grow Rapunzel-like locks but I am SO sick of looking like a ragamuffin. Since I only wash my hair 1-2 times a week, I think I’m still okay.

Bed Head After Party

From this oddly-shaped bottle, comes one of my all-time favorite finishing products. I have used this stuff since high school and for darn good reason. One pump provides a perfectly “piecey” look, ala Jen Aniston. I run it from the middle to the bottom of my hair, focusing more of the product at the ends.

Fashions

My Michael Kors rose gold watch has been a regular guest on my wrist these days. Annnd now I want everything in rose-gold…

STRIPES. Just in general. Bry pointed out that almost everything I have bought lately has been stiped in some way, shape or form.

Randoms

Sourdough. Bread. With Chunky Skippy peanut butter, or this cheese or really, anything.

My Scentsy. Not only do I love me some candles, but I also have a small obsession with my Scentsy. (Insert Cathy comic strip here) This is my favorite “brick” as of late:

UN-FAVORITE

SO. I ran out of my favorite makeup wipes about a month ago. Then, when I was perusing the aisles of Wal-Mart for a Milani blush I have YET to find, I noticed this:

Innocent enough. Looks like the Neutrogena version, right? I picked er up for a mere $3.50 and happily applied this to my eyes each night to remove my Rocket ~~glue~~ mascara. It worked great! So, I continued each consecutive evening. After a week or so, I noticed my eyes became super itchy every night around 5:30. Did I change anything? NO. I kept on using the stuff, since clearly, it was doing it’s job and just itched the bejesus outta my eyes. Then…EUREKA! I stopped using the remover and consequently – my eyes stopped itching! It was a Christmas miracle, or maybe it was me not being an idiot anymore. Not sure which. Anyways, this product did it’s job nicely, but obviously I had some kind of allergic reaction to it, thus making it a resounding FAIL.

What have you been loving, or un-loving this month?

August Empties

August 29, 201311 Comments

Happy Thursday Tootsies!

As the title suggests, prepare yourselves to discover what I have been loving and maybe not-so loving over the past few months. As a “waste not, want not” kind-of gal, I have to truly despise a product to cease and desist it’s use.

Much like Miley Cyrus’ relationship with clothing.

So – in no certain order, I give you the products I have conquered:

1. Tresseme Dry Shampoo

I have already shared my lukewarm feelings for this brand of dry shampoo. However, in a pinch at $3.99 I succumbed and as a result, have dealt with ashy color and the unpleasant texture this leaves behind.

2. L’oreal Collagen Mascara

I have now gone through 2 or 3 tubes of this mascara and lemmejustsay, I am in love. I began to include this product in my “mascara lineup” and have reaped the benefits of the large, bristley, almost goopy wand. When paired with respective separating and lengthening formulas – this mascara teams up to knock your lashes outta the park.

Apologies for the sports analogy.

3. Secret Outlast Deodorant

Apparently I am going there…and this one was just aight. I recently became OBSESSED with this old Secret deodorant I discovered in my Mom’s bathroom drawer. As a result, I checked each and every store for the past 2 months to find it with no avail. Damn limited editions! Then, the other day whilst contemplating jet black vs. carbon black eyeliner at Bartell’s I decided to check the deo section. And there it stood in all it’s radiant glory. I bought two and immediately called Bryan, letting him know, “I found the good deodorant!” He was not as thrilled.

4. Revlon Lip Butter in Cupcake

These lip butters have a serious cult following and for good reason. The formula combines the moisturizing elements of a lip butter with buildable, lovely pigmentation and delivers an effortless look with just the right amount of color. I have the colors creme brulee, red velvet and cupcake (well, I had cupcake) and now I am realizing that these are all foods #innerfatkid.

5. Bath and Body Work Body Spray in Pink Chiffon

I still have a few spritzes left of this spray my sister Megan introduced me to. I love SO many scents from B&BW but Pink Chiffon is truly amazing. It is feminine, fresh and sweet – what could be better?!

6. Nivea Smooth Sensation Body Lotion

I buy this lotion because I like the way Nivea products smell and Bry will use it because the packaging is blue. ‘Nuff said.

7. K-Pak Intense Hydrator

I picked up a travel-size of this during Christmas of last year. I like to combine this product with the K-Pak Deep-Penetrating Re-constructor, which is more of a protein treatment. When combined, they make quite the hydrating/strengthening duo! Out to banish my split ends and conquer the world.

8. Essie Topless and Barefoot

Pet Peeve: The moment your nail polish brush can no longer dip easily into the nail color. Thus is the case with my all-time favorite nude polish. IknowIknow, I could add some nail-polish thinner but I don’t have any…which is a good excuse :)! I will re-purchase this color for it’s wearability (even though Essie polish is not my favorite formula) and because it looks so fab with chunky glitter over the top.

9. Bath and Body Works Pillow Mist

I have had this since college. College. What was once used to remedy stressed out nerves before a big exam was most recently used to spruce up extra sheets for our guest bedroom when friends came to stay. I’m a big kid now.

10. Neutrogena Make-Up Wipes

Full Discolsure: I rarely wash my face before bed. When I have the time, I like to lather up my mug – but 90% of the time, I am haphazardly dragging a makeup-removing wipe across my face as I watch Jenna Marbles and eat popsicles. I go through so many in fact, that I saddled up for the Costco pack and have just recently gone through them all. My skin has yet to rebel against me and let it be known that I do use eye creme ~~every night~~ sometimes and I exfoliate bi-weekly in the shower. So there.

11. Meyer’s Countertop Spray in Basil

Not a beauty product. However, I feel this is worth a mention if for nothing else than it’s a-mazing scent. I have become completely addicted to the smell of this spray and find myslef wiping down our counters more often just to fill the room with this fresh aroma. So win-win.

Oh! And a couple other rando beauty faves as of late:

Essie’s “Lady Like” and “Raise Awareness”

Sephora Lipstick in “The Red”

Shameless and dweeby selfie courtesy of yours truly.

What have you used up lately?

Megan and Ben’s Wedding

August 22, 20136 Comments

Hello Mates!

In an attempt to tackle what could easily be the most wordy, emotional and just plain long post – I have wisely decided to go down another path. The path less traveled. The path that is sprinkled with photos and witty anecdotes, free of mile-long paragraphs and steep pitches of run-on sentences.

How do I plan to do this?

I am channeling my inner minimalist and hoping the random sampling of photos will somehow resemble a post that is worthy of such a spectacular day. Like unwelcome wedding guests, nerves, anxiousness and worry somehow reared their ugly heads. Luckily sheer joy, love and laughter persevered above all.

It wasn’t a perfect day. Seams were ripped, sweat permeated satin and raindrops fell. I don’t know about the bride, but I wouldn’t have changed a thing.

So, with no further adieu – I give you, my loyal readers…

Megan and Ben’s Wedding – The Top Ten List

1. Decorating!

2. The rehearsal dinner

The Johnson Siblings

Girls and ~~Boys~~ Girls

3. Getting our Nails Did

4. Getting our Hurrs Did

Ol’ Crazy Eyes

POMPADOR

Ouch!

5. Getting Ready

Pluckage

Tiny Chloe

6. The Ceremony

Strutting

Adorbs

Double Fisting

Just look at my face.

7. Seeing Friends and Family at the Reception

Bridesmaid Entrance

8. Cutting a RUG

9. DRINKING and CAKE

Melting my heart.

10. Seeing my big sister the happiest ever

Venue: Terra Blanca Winery
Dress: La Belle Elaine’s
Bridesmaid Dresses: Purple Parasol and David’s Bridal
Food: Twigs
Flowers: Twigs and Petals
Nice Photos by: My Talented Aunt Judy and Andrea Starr Photography
Ring: Dodson’s Jewelers

Summer Beauty Favorites

July 30, 20135 Comments

Hello Beauties!

I love my bathroom. I use the term “my” because mostly it’s me who uses it. We are lucky enough to house 2 bathrooms in our little apartment and Bry has slowly migrated to the other. #seperatebutequal.

Being allowed this luxury has meant filling it up with products and relishing the fact that I can do this. It has meant finding some duds along the way but also discovering potions that have seriously changed my life. A good product will do that for ya, I promise.

In no certain order, here are the standouts from my 2013 summer beauty collection:

The Pacifica Coconut Crushed Pearl Bronzing Body Butter came from a recent Ipsy bag I received. Sidenote: Ipsy is amazing. Best beauty box on the market if you ask me – and for $10 per month? Come on – put her there! It smells like an absolute dream and gives a deliciously subtle shimmer to the skin, along with providing a bit of a tint.

The Origins Vitazing is another product I got thanks to Tiffany D. I have used it more during these summer months, when my skin needs less coverage and more sun protection – and have grown very fond. To be honest – when I first used it, I thought it was giving me spots (zits) but I haven’t had such problems since then. I feel this product gives me a radiance as well as a nice dose of moisture without looking greasy. The SPF is a welcome addition, making this the perfect summer moisturizer in my book.

Forget everything you think you knew about black liquid liner. This Wet ‘n’ Wild eyeliner has put other high-end liquid eyeliners to absolute shame with it’s crazy black pigmentation and staying power. I much prefer this guy to do my heavy lifting, be it a precise cat eye or dramatic wing. It stays on, is JET black and costs $3. I curse my Mac blacktrack!

I won’t lie on this blog – I have owned this for probably around 3 years. I realize I am probably smearing expired, bacteria-infested pigments all over my mug but really, don’t we all have a couple things in our makeup bags a tad past their prime? This Physician’s Formula Shimmer Strips compact should be awarded for it’s multi-purpose properties. The colors are gorg on their own worn as eyeshadows or as I do – for my highlight (just keep yer brush in the lighter colors). Along of the cheek bones, down the nose and the cupid’s bow and I feel like a woodland fairy.

Mac Creme Cup. A perfect nudish-pink for a multitude of skin tones. I recently welcomed this color into my life and I haven’t looked back. I wear it in the morning, I wear it at night. Sometimes I put a little in my hair if I’ve had a rough week (name that movie!). It’s perfect.

This is a new-to-me line of hair care products and this Enjoy Instant Reconstructor is a winna. Kimberly from C.Joy Salon used this on me after my recent highlight and my hair actually shined. This doesn’t happen to me. Oil shouldn’t be called liquid gold no mo’ – just sayin. The English Pear and Freesia perfume from Jo Malone. I can’t. I literally have to force myself not to douse my entire body in this everyday. I am convinced that all the other scents on my perfume tray are so jealous of this modest little bottle (because inanimate objects might have feelings).

We all know that self-tanners are my bread and buttah. My wallet silently screamed as I forked over the $40 on this maracuja-infused formula from Tarte but, like so many products I’ve discovered that are well worth the higher price tag, it is indeed “brazilliance”. It has an olive undertone so I was able to say goodbye to my usual oompa-loompa tinge. The fade is brilliant and the package includes a mitt for perfect application. It also has cute packaging, making this the absolute best tanning product I’ve discovered so far. Bold claim, I know.

So that’s it! A menagerie of beauty-enhancing goops. Go get you some.

Don’t miss a cupcake, unicorn or vodka drink – follow me on Bloglovin’!

Megan’s Bachelorette

July 26, 2013July 26, 20131 Comment

Aloha Blogerinos! (Name that YouTuber!)

With the traces of my hangover bidding my body a reluctant adieu, I finally feel up to the task of attacking this momentous occasion with my vernacular words and set it free on the internets. So, let’s go.

Friday began with a much needed highlight. I went to C.Joy Salon here in Redmond and told the stylist Kimberly of the saga that is my hair. We agreed on a full highlight – combining some bright blonde with a few low-lights for S’s and G’s.

Here’s the before:

Accidental Ombre

And the after:

My car is the best for selfies

Saturday morn – I got up and slathered instant-tan all over m’self, curled the eyelashes real nice and headed to the Q to pick up mimosa fixins and a box of Top Pots (donuts) to take to the nail place we reserved at 11 am. I dispensed mimosas, pink feather boa donuts and of course my Danielson-charm as we dipped our feet into the swirling blue water and slipped into pedi-heaven.

The spread

The nail place turned out to be perfect – hat tip to Karen for the recommendation! I loved the power ballad instrumentals they played and the Sharper Image chairs…the “upper-back roll” was my jam.

Meg and Jen

“Everyone look at the camera!” Nan looks down. hahahahhha

Amy is participating!

Lil Meg

After that, ’twas off to Purple Cafe in Bellevue where we were seated in our own personal wine cove.

We had a delicious lunch of sandwiches, salads, soup and of course – the signature salted caramels and then scampered off to Bellevue Square for a little shopping.

Paparazzi shot

The Nordstrom Anniversay sale is on and oh law – the money I could spend on limited edition Mac gift sets. Swoon. We had fun trying on lipsticks for the wedding, ogling over Tory Burch purses and hyperventilating over anything at Chanel. Oh, and sadly the Soliel Tan de Chanel is completely sold out like everywhere :(.

Rachel trying Candy Yum-Yum

Angel and Creme-Cup

Ray-Ray and I left the mall a little early to head back to my house to prep for the party. I picked up my bestie Holls (that is the balls) and squeezed the bejesus out of her little body. We hung up my paper chains, made peeny linguine and hung up a poster of the Bieber. So basically…

Cutouts courtesy of Miss Coleman

Rachel’s Famous Oreo Balls

Cotton candy cookies

Be jealous.

We all slipped in to our LBD’s, heels and mini-tiaras and that was that. It was sweltering and because we have NO A.C everybody’s faces were melting into the carpet.

My LBD from Targs

So, we carried the food, dranks and other bits on to the patio and resumed our phallic conversations in the comfort of my apartment’s courtyard.

Holly showcasing her straw

The drinks were flowin and the shenanigans, growin. We moved inside to open presents where Meg received negligee of all kinds.

She also got a surprise from our other favorite YouTuber, Az4Angela! I ordered Megan candles from her online store and Ang was kind enough to send Megan a lil’ something. Thanks Angela!

After the formality of opening gifts, we moved on to more indecent activities like blasting rap and 1D while dancing PG-13. A conga line may have formed, I don’t know.

We played a rousing game of pecker toss, which is much harder than it looks and I may have accidentally played Party in the USA like on repeat.

Wrong on sooo many levels

Tossin’

Frisbee method

Not sure about this method

Holly and I then decided it the appropriate time to introduce the evening’s signature cocktail – chocolate cake shots.

Draaanks

Since the party has ended, the chocolate cake shots have been subject to public conjecture as to whether or not they were to blame for the craziness that ensued through out the evening. Jury’s still out.

Cake topper from Etsy

We piled into a couple of cars (the driver’s sober) and were whisked into Kirkland with the goal of filling out our trusty bachelorette check-list cards before the night ended.

Holly started us off with vodka-redbulls and Meg got right to work by asking a group of older gentlemen if any of their names were Ben Johnson. Aww girl.

Upon arrival at the bars, I pulled out my phone to send a location update and realized drunk logic made me grab Amy’s work phone since they were both white iPhone 4s. #FAIL. Also, Rachel forgot her phone and Meg had 2% battery left. Everything was SO organized.

The night was a veritable circus of all things bachelorette – we took shots of Fireball (delish), danced with Kirkland gays (hey-o!) and managed to get down to the tunes all the youngins are listening to. All while accumulating marital advice on paper napkins and nearly convincing a man to give us his underwear (Amers was in charge of that one).

Megan made friends with a couple a Russian men and I thought it cute to come bombing into the middle of their conversation, sloppily proclaiming “BORSCHT!!” (the one and only word I know in Russian), laughing like a hyena and trying to be funny.

We managed to stuff ourselves into a cab around 2 am and for me, things got all kinds-o-hazy. Rach set out for Jack in the Box while I (apparently) helped get all the air beds inflated and bedding distributed.

I am told that everyone else had a smashing time upon Rachel’s return, feasting on burgers, fries and gulping water while watching late-night television.

I, on the other-hand took a different route:

So did Amy

Hahahahaaaaaaaaaaahhahahhahaa

Bryan made his return from camping around 11 am the next morning and got to experience the text convo between Rachel and I. So hilar – I can’t remember when I have laughed so hard.

The rest of the day was spent nursing my hangover with Chipotle, popsicles and Lincoln on Redbox. Planning and executing an entire day of activities at multiple locations was fun but completely exhausting – therefore I am using that as my excuse for my decision to PTFO.

Yes, indeed.

A Typical June Weekend

June 21, 20132 Comments

OH HI.

This past weekend was a random one, of sorts. We had sun, we had rain, I was drunk, I was sober. On Thursday afternoon, Bryan announced that he was climbing Rainier with his pal Josh from Jackson Hole and they were set to leave in the wee small hours of the morning on Friday.

This left me to my own peculiar devices on Friday evening and were they ever. On my lunch break, I went to the Targs as I usually do 5-7 times per week. I have unsuccessfully been trying to decorate Bry and I’s sorry little apartment since we moved in and well, our bare walls speak for themselves. Whilst Targeting, I picked up 2 things for said walls and the Bandaid Brand Friction Block which I have been looking for. Because couldn’t we all do with a little less friction?

After work, I strolled the aisles of World Market, Pier 1 and Bed, Bath and Beyond, picking things up and setting them down. If somebody watched me shop for home decor, they might think I was a sad clown on her day off. Although a sad clown probably has lots of days off, cause really, who wants to hire a sad clown? ANY-who… the point is, shopping for home decor is quite confusing and frustrating for a girl like me who can’t make a decision to save her LIFE. Furrowed brows and plenty-o-frowns. RHYMING.

“This mirrored end table is cute but so is this bright turquoise slightly antiqued one look at that black lacquer bookshelf but I came for an end table OMGee these candles smell good.”

I go in with an idea, a purpose and leave feeling totally overwhelmed and oftentimes sweaty. I will emerge with a cute package of black and white paper napkins or an iPhone case or a lovely reed diffuser, only to return home to my white walls and solitary picture frame. Also need to take more pictures, because slutty photos from spring break in Vegas are no longer appropriate.

Friday night was spent eating bowls of cereal for dinner, crafting and watching Pretty Little Liars season 3. Netflix timed the release of the new season perfectly, as Bryan cannot STAND this progrum. I am ADDICTED. I mean, you’ve got Ezra for man-candy, makeup inspiration from Hannah and plenty of suspense thanks to A. WHO IS A?? After my third bowl of Bunches, a few paper cuts and a coconut oil hair douse – it was lights out for me.

Saturday morning commenced with an elusive event, which had not taken place in weeks: exercise. 30 minutes on the elliptical catching up with those damn Kardashians. And lemmejustsay, Kimmy’s derriere has reached a new level. I mean, I know you were preggers but COME ON. It has a roundness to it that is seriously NOT HUMAN.

Then I hit the showers for a hair washing after a 6 day sabbatical. Bryan doesn’t understand why I brag about such things and I remind him that going 6 days in a row with nothing but a can of dry shampoo and a couple a top knots isn’t the easiest thing in the world. So I washed & conditioned using my new absolutefavoriteholygrail product:

Then I self-tanned and walked around our apartment naked with the blinds closed listening to Abba super loud and eating handfuls of chocolate chips.

Oh and check out my white nails. #loveorhate?

After I was tanned and properly made-up, I made a trip over to Snoqualmie to visit sister Rachel and my pal Jaclyn.

What is going on with my eye?

Of course, Rachel was baking (what she does best) and was cursing the lack of baking sheets at the house Jaclyn was house sitting for. But really, who doesn’t own baking sheets?!

Rach made butterscotch cookies and then we made a family favorite, Oreo balls. I DIE for Oreo balls. We scamped around, chatted about boys and I played with the dog whose name was Shelby but Rachel called him Molly, which was really funny at the time. Then I did Rach’s makeup for fun and discovered the shocking fact that she does not use under-eye concealer and also has a love for NYX roller ball eye shadows which are all quite lovely. I always learn so much from Rachel.

Shenanigans:

Donning Rach’s New Sephora Lip Stain

Jumping Picture FAIL

After that, I headed to really exciting places like Michaels and Hallmark. Quite possibly the most popular stores for women over the age of 80. I then made a quick stop at Marshalls where I snatched up a creme colored blouse (yes, blouse) that I am now in love with. It was a geriatric shopping trip, minus adult diapers and prunes. Maybe they should sell these products as a two-fer?

I got home and settled into the couch with Cheez It’s and P.L.L when Bry called and told me he was off the mountain. Yippeee! Ever since this incident, I am always a complete worry-wart when he goes up Rainier.

A couple hours later he was home and we went to Red Robin per tradition. Bry went for the Royal burger and for me – clucks n fries with ranch. Healthy.

Sunday was spent with Bryan recuperating from ascending a jillion vertical feet in SKI BOOTS. Katie and Josh stopped by to exchange some gear and Josh’s feet were GNARLES. I almost took a picture. Needless to say, I don’t know HOW these boys shove their feet into ski boots with the edges literally slashing through their skin in 80 degree heat with a headache and nothing in their stomachs but a vanilla flavored Hammer Gel. Like, what?

I ran a few errands while Bry unloaded the Jeep and nursed his sore muscles by staying inside and sipping on Rainier beer because it was just so appropriate.

While running errands, I noticed this new establishment:

I feel like my cousin Mike would appreciate this.

Then we celebrated Father’s Day by meeting up with mom and pop Nash and brother KC at Via Tribunali in Fremont. I love it there. The pizza is amazing and the ambiance is even better. A perfect cap to my weekend!

Meaty

Beauty Product Misses

June 13, 20134 Comments

For any gal who has fallen victim to a product slathered in catchy marketing and boasting “miracle” results only to discover it’s complete and utter uselessness, I say this: I am you.

I am the girl who spends hours, yes hours watching, reading and researching products that lay claim to serious results with no avail. While I like to think that the majority of the items I choose to buy have been methodically selected, sometimes this is far from the truth. I, like so many women, am easily wooed by product displays, limited editions, or my weakest spot – cute packaging. Stick a piece of poo in a pink box with a cute font and I’m smitten. You get the drift :).

Recent evidence of ~~genius~~ cute marketing:

Instantly Instagramed Post-Purchase

The purpose of this post is to hopefully save some of you (the millions who are reading) from repeating my beauty section mistakes.

Got2Be Beach Trippin

Basically, I feel this entire brand is garbage. The name is bad enough. Textbook example of how cute packaging and unrealistic promises can break our hopeful hearts. Or maybe it’s only me. I really should just splurge for the Bumble & Bumble Surf Spray, but can’t yet justify the $25 cost for what seems like a little salt-water.

Tresemme Dry Shampoo

My never-ending hair growth saga has constituted the purchase of many hair products to aid in my quest for boob-length locks. Dry shampoo is a necessity as frequent hair washing is a major no-no in the hair growth department. For this beauty miss, I simply cheaped-out on my all time favorite dry shampoo, Batiste , for this $3 version. It comes out like a jet (TWSS), the formula is too wet (again, TWSS) and it leaves a dreaded white residue on your hair (this is out of control).

Macadamia Natural Hair Oil

I was surprised by my distaste for this hair oil. Lots of beauty gurus love this line. The smell was nice at first, but I grew tired of it overtime and I felt it actually made my hair more dry! The horror! For a MUCH better alternative, albeit, substantially more expensive is Moroccan Oil. Or, Nectar of the Gods as I call it.

Ulta Brand Tanning Products

Self tanning products have become all the rage suddenly. I guess people are finally getting hip to how bad the sun is for your skin, derrr. As a child of a skin-cancer survivor many times over, I quit my tanning bed regime long ago.

As a result, I have become a connoisseur of drugstore self-tanning products. Neutrogena, Hawaiian Tropic, Jergens. They all aight. L’Oreal Sublime Bronze is one of my favorites, save for the trail of glitter it leaves behind. Strippers prolly buy this stuff by the buckets. I have yet to dive in to pricier options like St.Tropez, Fake Bake or the one I covet over all else by Tarte.

The Ulta self-tanner performed as well as you’d expect it to, which was completely disappointing. Hardly any color and it faded terribly, read: lizard skin.

Maybelline The Falsies Mascara

Finding the right mascara is kind of like shopping for jeans. What looks great on one person gives the other saggy-butt. You understand. Mascaras can be lengthening, volumizing, separating, moisturizing, the list goes on and on. For most, a combination works best. I have tried the Falsies multiple times, due to it’s wide popularity and good price. Each time, I was left with stiff, jagged spider eyes which isn’t exactly what I was going for. However, I have seen this product perform beautifully on others so I suppose the vote’s still out.

So that’s it, I hope I helped. Save your pennies for sensible things like a magic set or a quesadilla maker. Splurge on a vacation to Dollywood but please, don’t buy these products.