My Beauty Hacks

October 26, 2015October 26, 20152 Comments

HALLO!

Very often in social conversations, I find myself explaining the seemingly simple little things I do to help me not look homeless. Things like getting my 4 day unwashed hair to stay in that perfectly coiffed, not-too-messy, messy bun. Or getting my tired eyes (one of which, droops) to look alive and Disney princessish. To me, these practices are just that. M’ tried-and-trues. Things I have done since middle school that I no longer even think about, let alone have put down on paper.

But guys – it is time to share. November is upon us! The month where we bow our heads and give thanks for all that we have. For me, it’s Malibu Rum and Wild Berry Skittles. It’s also the following beauty hacks that I hope will give you something to be thankful for.

These eye drops that make the whites of your eyes really white

I first heard about these a few years ago when I watched a tutorial on how to look like Barbie (obvs). The video (maybe Michelle Phan?) recommended using these drops to get super white and bright eyes. Ever since then, I have gone through 2 whole bottles and WHO, may I ask, uses an entire bottle of eye drops that doesn’t wear contacts?

These drops knock out any redness or discoloration on the whites of your eyes and are PERFECT when I feel tired or am hungover. They are a lifesaver in a pinch when you need to look “awake” in a jiff or want that bright-eyed, doll look.

Best method for shaving your legs

This is going to sound weird, but this is how I shave my legs and they always perfect and buttery-soft.

First, exfoliate them with a sugar scrub. I like this one:

When I am feeling extra pampery, I will also use a loofah on them.

Next, I grab my razor – and y’all won’t believe which kind I use.

Yes, I use the cheap-ass candy-pink razors that come in a 12-pack and cost $2.49 at Fred Meyer. The difference is, I use a new one of these almost every time I shave my legs. I discovered long ago that with expensive razors like the Venus and the Intuition, I wouldn’t switch the blade out very often and after a few shaves, they weren’t as close. I crave that close, perfect, precise shave EACH time. So I decided to buy the good ol’ twin-blade razors and use a fresh one each time and you guys – I am NOT looking back. A bit wasteful? Perhaps. But my legs are silky smooth every time and I don’t worry about spending a million dollars on 5-blade razors that basically are rendered useless after a few uses.

Whew.

I use my cheap razor and body wash to shave my legs. I used to think those Skintimate Shave Gels were the tits but I have quickly discovered the absolute best thing for shaving your legs and it is this:

The lotiony effect of the body wash coats my legs and I hardly ever get cuts. Then when I’m done, I am left with a softer and smoother set of stems.

These methods are extensive but I promise they work. If you want a step-by-step tutorial on how to get the best shave everrrr LET ME KNOW!

Putting castor oil on your eyelashes

Okaaaaay. I have been putting castor oil on my eyelashes every night for quite a while now. At first I was like, “WTF have you resorted to Natalie?!” But now I love it. Each night after I take all my makeup off, I take a tiny bit of castor oil on my finger and sweep it on my upper and lower lashes with just enough to coat them. I feel like it is basically a conditioner for eyelashes and it causes me zero irritation. As a result, my eyelashes are longer, fuller and more “feathery”. I feel like they are the best they’ve ever been right now and I owe it all to Castor Oil! Go fig.

This is the kind I use:

Buy the organic, pure version

Getting rid of bruises FAST with Arnica

Duuuuude that sounds like a infomercial. But srsly, Arnica has changed my life. Due to whatever amount of vitamins I am lacking from my self-elected diet of Pirate’s Booty, Milk Duds and the occasional can of soup – I find that I bruise SUPER easy.

A couple of coworkers recommended I try Arnica and it totally works like a charm. I would say it cuts down the “life” of my bruises by half. During the summer especially – this stuff is a godsend.

And that’s it for now! Be prepared for a Part 2 of this blog post because it’s already in the works!

Happenings!

October 14, 2015October 14, 2015Leave a comment

I went to a charity event that my work was a sponsor for and had the rare opportunity to dress up in Portland, Oregon! For once, wearing something nicer than jeans in public felt acceptable! I didn’t take a good picture of how I did my hair for this event, but I used the following tutorial and it worked like a charm!

You can kinda see my hair better here:

The event had an Arabian Nights theme (basically if I had Princess Jasmine pants I WOULD have worn them) and there was a hookah bar!

And alas, I had to give little Henry back to his mom and dad. It was a bittersweet day because I was sad not to see his little tiny wagging body at the door everyday, but happy to see him reunited with his humans. The last day I had him, I took him for a nice long walk and wore a heck of an outfit:

I found these hilarious illustrations on Instagram the other day from @ohdeer. Just SO perfectly applicable and user-friendly.

And my personal favorite…

Here are some recent Tates:

And lastly, my eyelash game has been on point! As have my car selfies apparently…

And also. I’ve been havin alot of days on the couch lookin’ like Kermit the Frog:

And walking down to get the mail like dis:

Big Patagonia coat, jammy shorts and veiny feet in ballet flats

And lastly….anyone else love Phoebe Snow? My LORD do I love her voice! Nan and I share a real love for Poetry Man.

Lately

July 17, 2015Leave a comment

Been thinkin’ bout you baby…just sitting away, watching the days go by!! <— anybody??

Oh heyyyyy guys!

My makeup has been super wishy-washy lately. Some days I’m totally on fleek and then the next I look like a sweaty 19-year-old at prom with too much blush and mis-shapen eyebrows. As such, I’d like to showcase some of my better days.

I call this, the “Who me? I’m wearing hardly ANY makeup…just a little mascara…” HAAHAHAhashashahahaaaa

TRANSFER FILTER FOR THE WIN

Channeling Cindy Crawford, Marilyn and Taylor Momsen…

And here’s some more randomness for your reading pleasure.

Mississippi Street Fair #trufflefries

Yeeeeeeppppp

PREACH

Balcony Picnics! Class.

I have literally been looking for this errrrrywhere. The highlight is srsly LIFE CHANGING.

Ok that’s it bye.

Kayaks, Sore Throats and Jersey Girls

June 3, 2015Leave a comment

yyyello!

MAC St.Germain and Oversized Pearls for the WIN

How are all you BBs doing this week?

I’ve been singing in the car waaaay too hard lately. I accidentally took the following selfie when I was trying to capture a funny man in teensy biker shorts the other day:

Mid Power-Ballad

Also, I had quite the weekend! My bestie Holly and her fiance Matt came into town, I developed a horrendous sore throat and lastly, I found it ridiculously easy (dare I say, scarily) to speak in a New Jersey accent.

It allll started on Friday night where we met up with the Dweedles (Dee and Dumb that is, hehe, jk) at Bamboo Sushi in NW 23rd. It was hilar that Holly suggested this place because we have taken many of our outta town friends there.

Holly ordered saki which to me is ball sweat, but whatevs. The sushi is always solid and then you have the Salt & Straw option next door!

The next day I picked up Holly, wet hair and all, from her hotel and we ventured out to the reason for their visit (other than me, amazing me), a kayak demo put on by Next Adventure in Sellwood park.

Closed-mouth smile!

The day was absolutely GORG and I loved the fact that there was nothing I even remotely wanted to buy! I also learned that SUP stands for Stand Up Paddleboard, go fig, right!? Anyweeez, Matt hooked us up with awesome NRS t-shirts and other swag (such a celeb rn) and then we headed to my friend Aliese’s house for her daughter’s bday!

It was a princess theme so obvi I died.

Mini Elsa omgaosiedas9q23j9!*(&@

More SWAG

The princess costumes of today are sooo legit compared to the ones they had when I was a kid. My mom made the most killer Rainbow Brite costume everrrr but my sister Megan got to wear it. I was always stuck being Mickey in Fantasia, which was basically a hole cut out of a royal blue plastic table cloth #klassy.

Later that night we all met up for pizza and beer (or wine if you’re me and hate beer) at Lucky Labrador in NW.

I literally inhaled 3 pieces and 2 glasses of wine and felt just GRAND.

Matching shirts, don’t currr

Then we went to this little bar down the road that served about 40234890723 different kinds of bottled beers in little chalice cups. Very hipster. And Portland. We sat outside and that was when Holly and I decided it was high time we practice our Jersey girl accents. So we did.

We made a rule that you couldn’t talk in a regular accent, it HAD to be Jersey. So everyone was just spittin’ out imaginary stories of “the shore”, deadbeat boyfriends, and classy joints. My stomach hasn’t hurt so hard from lauging before IN MY LIFE.

Holly as a 18th century british man

It was then, that the dull sore throat I had been complaining about the last 4-ish days decided to rear her ugly head. We moved to Blue Moon, a bar down the road where I regretfully ordered a hot toddy to try and soothe my throat. It LITrally tasted like vom, but somehow I choked down 87% of it and then wisely moved to vodka+sevens. MY LIFE.

Then I dared Holly and Matt to switch shirts and they freaking did .

The next day I slept in until 11 am and my body was like, “Awesome job Natalie! But I’m still tired.” So I slept more. And more. 5 pm and I was still in my jammies. My throat felt sooo bad, so I went to Zoom Care to make sure I didn’t have strep and thankfully I don’t.

So that’s where we’re at guys. Hit me up for all the Jersey flaves.

“Things” I Love

May 19, 20153 Comments

What up tootsie pops!?

Allow me to point out that I have no mascara on (read: hairless cat) my hair could NOT have been worse. AND homegirl in the background is shooting me just absolute daggers.

Y’all know I can rattle off the makeup/beauty/haircare favorites with the rest of ’em, but what I often fail to mention are the other things I love. And with summer peaking it’s head around the corner, being all “What’s up Nat?!!” I can’t help but just burst out with love for everything. The sky. The trees. The Portlandian riding her bike in suffocatingly tight bell bottoms with a raccoon helmet. I just love it. ALL. So here it goes.

Slushy margaritas

When was the last time you partook in a SLUSHY marg? Sure, I’ve downed my fair share of the classic on-the-rocks version, but can I get an amen for the icy texture of a good ol’ blended one? PREACH.

No Makeup Days

Contrary to what people might think, I actually don’t mind how I look without (as my Dad so lovingly refers to it) “warpaint”. And why is everyone suddenly making a big deal out of the power of “no-makeup” days? Why are we all overthinking this?! Just wear makeup when you want, or don’t. Sheesh!

I do however, make a big deal outta people who bite directly into a string cheese. Because that is just weird.

Chips from Chipotle

They’re heavily salted, limed and dispensed from a bag just for me. Sidenote: I love thefatjewish on IG. #dadbod

Relaxi Taxis Outside on our Dirty Balcony

And yes, I am wearing cut-offs. DUH. I looove when it is so stinking nice outside that you can’t NOT do this. The balcony is def not ready for summer, but I LITerally give zero f*#%s.

Quotes that are True

The amount of those quote home decor signs at Marshalls, TJ Maxx and Target is overwhelming. “Always Kiss Me Goodnight”. “Life is better at the Beach”. And my personal favorite, “Sexy Women Have Messy Kitchens”.

To these I say: “Don’t always kiss me goodnight. I don’t feel good”. “Life may be better at the beach, but it also may be better at Chili’s”. And lastly, “Ugly women also have messy kitchens”.

HOWEVER. All that being said, I did find this quote (on a random notebook) to be quite true.

Go Mare

When I Absolutely KILL IT at Dinner

This doesn’t happen often, and when it does, it is worth being blogged about. Gotta love Ina for providing me with the world’s yummiest panzanella recipe.

And later that day…

Whatevs. Booty is organic.

What do YOU love?

My Thoughts on Jamberry

May 14, 20152 Comments

Hello my little toast points!

Me rn

I was introduced to Jamberry a couple of weeks ago. Of course I had heard the name before, but I never really paid any attention to it. I knew they were nail stickers that supposedly lasted much longer than nail polish. Yada yada yada.

You see, I luurve painting my nails but for whatever reason most polishes chip within ONE GD day on me. So when a couple’a gals from my work told me they were placing an order for these little pups, I decided to jump on the bandwagon. I selected the following pattern, appropriately named “Memory Lane” (they look like a grandma’s couch, afterall) and I absolutely love the floral design.

It took me a solid two weeks to muster up the strength to actually commit the two hours I knew it would take to figure these out. But I did. And after a few YouTube videos, hooking up my hair dryer and maaaybe a couple of curse words, they’re on.

The process – I watched the official Jamberry application vid and was got the basic jest. Btw, totally NOT FAIR that these rando women are probs like rolling in the dough from making nail stickers. Makes me want to invent sh*t, HARD.

So. You peel em off, heat em up, stick em on. I happened upon a couple Jamberry superfan-produced vids and learned a couple insider tips and tricks. One lady instructed you to wrap your nail in a plastic baggie immediately after application and hold it in front of the blow dryer for a few seconds. Okee.

What I found to be the most challenging part of these little suckers is the placement and the edging. To be fair, I did NOT do this super meticulously and easily could have spent another hour being super precise, but that just aint me. Once they were on, I trimmed the top and then filed it down to end perfectly aligned with my natural nail. I found this to be difficult and very time consuming.

Other than that, there really isn’t much to it.

The result – They look pretty dec. However, the tops are not completely perfect and I have little flaps (haha) on a few of my nails. So. We will see how long these last. For a first-timer, I am not expecting to get the full 3-week wear out of ’em but hopefully I can last a week?

My opinion – these are fun to do every once in a while OR if you want a fun accent (or party nail, as I call it). I think it would ROCK on my ring fingers. It is pretty time consuming but perhaps I will get faster the more I do it. I still like painting my nails for therapeutic reasons, but I think these Jamberry nails are also kinda fun.

Have YOU tried Jamberry?

Allergens, Milk Duds and a Trip to France

March 11, 20158 Comments

HEE HEE, HAW HAW.

The three aforementioned items could not be more dissimilar. But in my little world, they are inextricably linked. I could have also added Recent Exercise as another topic item, but 4 things seemed a bit much, no?

Let’s start with the state of my allergies! A topic I’m sure so many of you are absolutely thrilled to hear about. WELL. Every summer I die of allergies, which y’all have been privy to on more than one occasion (like here & here). Since Spring has Sprung like 89123 days early this year, I decided to book an allergy appt straight away!

I was poked (hee hee) 40 times with various extracts from trees, weeds, insects, you name it – and had OFF THE CHARTS allergic results to…drumroll please….

GRASS. I am allergic to grass. The doc told that it’s basically the most common thing to be allergic to. Which makes me so disappointed in myself. I was hoping it would be something really unique and specific, like Russian Thistle! But no, it’s just grass – and it’s EVERYWHERE. I am on a BRAND new medication called Grastek to treat my severe allergy, so holla at me if you share the same distaste for Grass!

And then there are Milk Duds. I could eat Milk Duds all day, everyday. After years of dormancy on the candy shelf, they have quickly become a favorite, winning out over popular favorites including (but never limited to) Junior Mints, Jujyfruits and Snowcaps. I realize that the combination of sugary chocolate and caramel are likely wreaking havoc on my pearly-whites, but thankfully I have been limiting myself. I also find them completely irresistible when frozen! Who am I?? Elsa?!

And lastly…FRANCE. In less than 2 weeks I will traveling to Chamonix, France with none other than Bryan-Arthur.

I do not know if France is ready for another dose of my high-school French (of which I am way too confident in) and demands for ice in my soda. We shall see. One thing is sure, I will buying Bioderma for the masses and possibly a couple liters of Caudalie Beauty Elixir if the budget allows. I hear it just flows from rivers there!

And then there’s the delicate matter of skiing. Which thanks to Bryan’s encouragement and a few positively WONDERFUL ski days, I am completely ready for! A couple of meltdowns are likely, but so it the possibility of fondue and wine…and LOTS OF IT.

I wish I could become the photographer I know I’ll never be, and capture our trip to perfection. But you guys know what you’re in for. Expect my usual slightly blurry, dancing-in-the-hotel-with-wine-in-my-hand repertoire, mmm-kay. Anything else just wouldn’t be me ;).

Adieu beautés!