As I sit here at my kitchen table strewn with lists, RSVP cards, seating charts and yes, even our wedding bands, I can’t help but analyze it all. A week away from “the big day” and what does it all really mean? Never an over-thinker, I am a bit surprised at my brain’s way of processing all that has happened over the past few months.
A big move, unemployment, wedding showers with gifts, friends and family. Mixed feelings about choices we’ve made, from my wedding dress to our honeymoon destination. It all piles up in my brain and I am left overwhelmed, with greasy hair and still in my pajamas at 2 o’clock. I sit questioning myself, for it has been me and me alone who has made these decisions.
It was my sister (and best friend) Rachel who reminded me the other day to snap out of my state of worry. “You’re marrying Bryan,” she said. “‘That’s all that matters.”
And so. It is with great joy and a brand new HELLS-YES attitude with which I forge into the next 9 or so days. So what, if half the people we invited said NO? Who cares if my boobs don’t quite fill out my dress? Who have I ever been to really care what others think?
I love my friends. I love my family. I want them to feel welcomed and loved. In fact, I want love to permeate the evening . A lovely affair, filled with food, wine, dancing and hopefully Toto’s “Africa”. A night where my Dad turns me around the dance floor and my Mom does “the shopping cart” with pride. Where someone jumps in the pool. And someone’s crying (because there is ALWAYS someone crying at these things, you know).
I have done great thus far at keeping my eyes on the prize and NOT getting caught up in stupid details so many brides might lose their sh*t over. But sometimes, I falter. Something creeps in and festers away in my mind until I am left a perpetual ball of nerves. It is people like Rachel, like Holly, like my Mom and Bry’s Mom and my sisters to keep my head outta the gutter and right where it should be. Firmly planted atop my shoulders, looking straight ahead at a life I am fortunate to have and a man who is silly enough to love me.
And that, my friends is what it’s all about.
Well, and candy. It’s also about candy.