That’s right!

Last weekend, we paid a little visit to the city we will soon call home.

And yeah, I WISH it was where Bry and I were going to retire, as the song on Portlandia playfully suggests. But no.

In fact, we ventured down to the state of Oregon last weekend so that Bryan and I could get a sneak peak of this brand new-to-us city and he could see his new digs at work.

We arrived in Portland around 8 am on Good Friday and quickly grabbed a coffee before Bryan had an 8:30 am meeting. Without even thinking about it, we sought out a Starbucks. SO funny you guys. I love me some local coffee shops but if you’re like us, Starbucks kinda feels like home. Anytime Bry and I are in a strange city, we always end up at Starbucks. To pee. To send a quick email. Maybe a chonga bagel, I don’t know.

After Bry gulped down a misto, he headed into the office while I (barely awake at this point) ho-hummed around the city, waiting for things to open. I stumbled upon an urban T.J Maxx and was elated when I discovered they were open at 8:30 in the mornin! The inside was pristine and all the staffers said hi to me. Like when do the people at T.J Maxx EVER say hi to you?

When I got back to the car, I realized we were totally out of gas so I pulled into a 76 and leaned over to the passenger seat to grab my credit card. When I turned back around there was a middle aged man standing right in front of my window.

OH YEAH. They pump your gas for you in Oregon. I rolled down my window and tried to share an “oops-Washingtonian over here” moment with the guy – but realized I wasn’t gettin’ an inch. So he and his deadpan proceeded to fill ‘er up without an iota of humor.

Well SAAAAHHH-RREY.

After that, I checked into our hotel and changed for a quick work out. Yes, I am working out regularly. These thighs aren’t going to gap themselves.

After working out and a quick shower, it was time for lunch with Bryan and his boss. We went to a really cool restaurant called Grüner where I acted like a regular asshat and spilled an entire glass of wine on my lap.

After lunch, I had 2 blissful hours of shopping sans Bryan. Surprisingly, I didn’t get anything exciting. I think it was the tax-free pressure (does this happen to anyone else?). After Bryan got off work, we walked over to the townhouse we are thinking of renting (pictured on the water, below):

The operative word here, is WALK. And oh, how excited we are!

Our current his and hers commutes, upwards of 40 minutes each way, are gettin’ darn annoying. We are relishing the fact that it looks like we will be renting this townhouse and it is WALKING DISTANCE to the city.

You heard me right. I will be walking distance to Nordstrom Rack and the cool, urban T.J Maxx. Heart palpitations FO’ REAL.

After we saw the townhouse, we unknowingly started our own little “pub crawl”. We kicked it off at our hotel, The Heathman, sharing a cheese plate, wine and a cocktail. We then headed to Red Star Tavern and had bacon-wrapped jalapeno poppers. I literally felt them jiggle down my gullet and rest softly on my thighs, they were that fattening.

 

After that, we decided to check out this restaurant and rooftop bar we heard about called Departure. It was kickin and I felt like I was redeeming myself from lunch because clearly, this is where the cool kids were hanging out.

We had an awesome dinner at Portland City Grill – appetizers, crab cakes, molten lava cake THE WORKS. We then shuffled back to the hotel in the brisk cold and fell asleep with our food babies.

The next morning we decided that we should probably go ahead and eat another large meal. So, we walked over to Mother’s Bistro (which is like, so adorbs) and had a belgian waffle and crunchy french toast <- brioche coated in batter and dipped in crushed corn flakes. It was stupid good and filling. We waddled (haha, waddled) back to the car and 3 hours later, were back home!

And if that wasn’t enough gluttony for one trip, we definitely made pizza that night for dinner.

So much for my thigh gap.