When Did it End?

September 14, 2023September 14, 2023Leave a comment

Why is this song so perfectly applicable to anything sad? Billie just gets it.

I almost didn’t write this post at the risk of sounding like another millennial mom, droning on about how time is a thief, how we blink and a year drifts by, but today I am putting that aside. I am writing it TF down because another summer has gone, and doggone it – it’s the year of the Barbie movie!

Clara is going to be 5 years old in just 3 months. We started official preschool 3 days a week at a new school and girlfriend SLAYS in her pink Fjallraven and Disney princess lunchbox. We are dealing with a 4-year-old who wants to get dressed, use the bathroom, brush her teeth, and pour LARGE glasses of milk all by her lonesome. Her catch phrases and one-liners literally SEND David and I. Favorites include (while leaning up against something) “How a’doin?”, “Bemember lasterday?” (aka anything that has happened in the past), and the one that gets me err time, “You’re breaking my heart mommy” (when I tell her goodnight and am about to leave the room, it always buys her at least 15 more min).

Eliana is 12 and in 7th. We are going through the delightful saga that is middle school – friends, enemies, boys, makeup, controversial outfit choices, iPhones, all of it. We’re “trying on personalities” as my best friend Kelly lovingly puts it. One day we’re sporty spice, then we’re an Influencer, and then out of nowhere we’re asking to be tucked in at bedtime. Really I cannot blame her one bit – I cringe at the memory of me in JNCO jeans.

Our summer was packed to the brim. E had summer camps and vacations. Clara took a ballet class. We went on a few random trips. Here are the highlights:

One of my best friends, Holly got married in Idaho. My other BFF’s and I were bridesmaids and we had THEE best time!

I love her.

Clara discovered the gas station strawberry shortcake ice cream bars!

She also got SO much better at drawing. Check out her troll doll!

Trip with with Liv and Kelly to Pacific City. We chaperoned a group of 16-year-olds so we EARNED THIS.

JONI JAM 2023. For my mom’s 70th birthday, my sisters and I got tickets to see Brandi Carlisle and Joni Mitchell at the Gorge. It got super cold after the sun went down but it was SO FUN!

We discovered THEE best pizza in Portland (IMO) – Ranch Pizza.

We went to Kennewick for the 4th of July and I (for the first time maybe ever) beat everyone at shanghai rummy.

Clara started taking pre-ballet and tap at a little dance studio near our house and LOVED it. I physically cannot handle how cute she looks in her leotards and unitards.

Face-painting ala Mommy

I gardened for the first time in my life AND planted something.

We drug our $85 pool out of the garage.

The cousins came to visit and we took a little trip to the Oregon coast.

We went to visit our friends Anna and John at their gorgeous lake house.

Clara took her baby for a stroll.

We visited Frog Pond Farm.

Clara had her dance recital!

We attended a birthday party with Rapunzel. Sidenote: I think I missed my true calling as a party princess.

We went to Sun River with my family!

And lastly, but most importantly – Eliana and I FINALLY checked visiting this Christian bookstore/vegetarian foods market off our bucket list. Spoiler alert – we didn’t buy anything.

It’s a whirlwind this life, and most of the time I am DRAINED. I know I could use a little more time to myself but at the end of the day, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

NYC Family Vacation Recap

September 6, 20231 Comment

NYC!! What is it about you??

Like Annie’s “star-to-be”, I am still asking myself this question. Is it the FIVE Ladurée locations? The abundance of rainbow bagels? Or just the knowledge that SJP’s Manolos have clickety-clacked upon the same upper east side sidewalks that you find yourself standing on?

Back in May our little family descended upon the city that never sleeps and packed a week’s worth of fun into a 24 hour chunk. Allow me to deconstruct.

We had a family wedding to attend on Long Island, and rather than send out a solo member, we bravely decided to make it a family affair after realizing we had the Jet Blue points to fund the flights. We made the plans to stay with my cousin, his wife and daughter in Massapequa and purchased red-eye flights into JFK. Then I quickly got into formation – planning, packing, and panicking…about just about every detail imaginable.

The trip came at us fast and before we knew it, we landed in New York and had successfully gotten both girls to sleep on the plane! David and I were not as fortunate and despite the Unisom, neither of us got more than an hour of sleep.

I sipped a scalding hot Dunkin Donuts coffee from the airport and we rode the Long Island Rail Road (LIRR) to Massapequa. After getting settled and attending the first of two pre-wedding activities, we rested up for our ONE big day in the city.

But first – a Massapequa rainbow bagel!

You see, between wedding festivities, PTO, and missing school, we decided that we could really only swing one full day in the city. And luckily E’s aunt (a local New Yorker) mapped out an entire day of fun, and was able to join in and act as our guide.

We rode the LIRR into the city once again, and can I just say – I love riding the train. I could dead ass be a commuter with a podcast, comfy sneakers, and little backpack, I can see it now! We borrowed an umbrella stroller for Clara from my cousin and it was easily the BEST decision we made the whole trip. Homegirl loved it, we loved it, just a total win.

We started with the Museum of Natural History. The place is colossal and so iconic, I could easily have spent a whole day wandering around. But a busy toddler who wants to run, yell, and touch everything, affords you 2 hours tops. The highlights for us were the blue whale (ocean) room, the gems, and the dinosaurs.

After that, we walked up to the original Levain Bakery on 74th Street and got 3 different flavors of their massive cookies. They live up to the hype.

The upper west side is so quintessential New York, I loved pushing Clara in the stroller and pretending we were headed home to one of the impressive brownstones.

Then we had lunch at Lenwich and Clara promptly PTFO.

After lunch we headed over to Central Park to stroll through Strawberry Fields.

The walk through Central Park was absolutely gorgeous and the weather was perfect.

Then we hustled to the subway to make our way to St.Pat’s cathedral. But before I get there, can we talk about riding the subway with 2 kids, a backpack and stroller? We quickly found out the stroller wouldn’t fit through the GD turnstiles and David and I were STRUGGLING. Just full upper-lip sweat for me. We must have scanned the subway card like 10 times before a nice older gentleman pointed to a steel door off to the side. A big sign on the door said “DO NOT OPEN”, so I hesitated when I went to open it and looked over at the man again. He nodded at me like, “Just do it already!” so I opened the door and a LOUD-ASS alarm went off. Cue more upper-lip sweat. David plowed through, stroller in tow and we ran through on our merry way. I kept looking over our shoulder for the subway police to come write us a ticket, but it never happened. Over the course of the next 24 hours I witnessed several people utilize this door to carry through strollers, bikes, and other large items . We used the door each time after that with pride, feeling like cool, seasoned New York parents navigating the subway with ease!

Ok, back to St. Patrick’s Cathedral.

It is gorgeous yes, but I feel like the fact that it is a.) in the U.S and b.) in the middle of a bustling city makes it all the more cool.

Then we spotted something that we knew immediately HAD to be added to our afternoon plans.

The American Girl Store!

E and I were in heaven. Running around and squealing like 6 year olds. Clara was impressed but still a little too young to really “get it”. The NY store is really worth a visit if you’re an OG American Girl fan like me, they have a hair salon, doll hospital, and restaurant!

Then we walked over to FAO Schwartz where I discovered they make you pay to play the giant piano from Big. LAME. I opted instead for a picture in the Barbie box.

Then we hopped back on the subway to make our reservation at the Museum of Ice Cream. If you aren’t aware, the Museum of Ice Cream is an Instagram-worthy sensory experience, not a traditional museum. The self-guided tour leads groups through several rooms, all with an ice cream theme where guests are served – you guessed it – ice cream!

After ice cream, it was almost dinner time. We checked into our hotel in Times Square which was small, but nice, clean, and cozy. Then, we headed to dinner at Serendipity!

OBVIOUSLY we got the frozen hot chocolate. But I didn’t see John Cusack (sigh).

Then we headed back to the hotel for some much-needed shut eye. I know this pic is blurry, but it perfectly captures the moment so idc.

The next day we started out bright and early for another few hours of sight-seeing before we had to go back to Long Island. E, David, and E’s Aunt TT went to the “top of the Rock” (Rockafeller Plaza) while Clara and I slept in.

E was dead-set on going to Madame Tussaud’s and I knew I couldn’t leave without getting a picture of Carrie Bradshaw’s apartment. So, we split up. E, David, and Aunt TT went to Madame Tussaud’s while Clara and I braved the rain and the subway to find 66 Perry Street.

Annnd, we found it!

Tears literally welled up in my eyes you guys. Such a millenial.

Then it started to downpour so Clara and I ran into a Dunkin. Her wet hair and happy little donut smile KILL ME.

That afternoon, we rode the train back to Long Island for the rehearsal dinner. The next day was the wedding and I must say, we slayed the formal attire.

We had an amazing time at the wedding. Overall, it was such a whirlwind trip but OH, so memorable!

Married

May 22, 20183 Comments

OH hi.

So….yes. We got married! We went on our honeymoon! We are now back to the grind and before I get swept up in another random skin care product or list of summer must-haves, I thought I owed it to you all (and myself, really) to make a little post about the wedding. Separate post covering the honeymoon later.

David and I knew we wanted a really small, laid-back ceremony. If you have been married before, you know why. To me, weddings are ~~bullsh*t~~ errr, I mean a totally unnecessary waste of money. Large weddings with all the pomp and frills are soooo not me, not David, not US. We knew early on that we were either going to the courthouse with our parents as witnesses and a small celebration after, or doing an intimate ceremony somewhere private. Meghan Markle, I am not.

We ended up choosing a beautiful rental home on the Oregon Coast with a stunning view. We had close friends stay with us in the house and family stayed close by. My best friend Bekah married us on the deck and we had dinner, drinks and cake right after. I will include more random details below.

The night before the wedding, everyone came over and hung out. We had pizza and wine. It was perfect.

The next morning I got up and David and I polished up our vows before heading down to the beach with E, Tate and my fam.

Then we went back, I showered and started my makeup. It is after all, the most important thing about anyone’s wedding day ;). David kept emphasizing that he wanted me to “look like me” so I had to hold myself back from going FULL glam like I may or may not have done. I let my freckles show through, I kept the eyes and lips really natural and I kept everything soft.

Of course I did wear falsies because there was no way that WASN’T happening. These are the Velour Silk Lashes in “Trust Me Try It”. They were SO soft and fluffy and absolutely gorgeous. I got the sparkly flower crown from Ross. I KNOW. Wiiiiig.

Then I put my dress on and without really planning it, did a “first look” with David on the beach. **I LOATHE “first looks” or anything cheesy or remotely resembling sappy wedding traditions like these.** David had already seen me in the dress, so really it was more of a “hi, i am marrying you in a little bit” moment. Which I loved.

E and I ended up getting Tate dressed which was another highlight of my day because she is just so loving and sweet with him. Meg had picked him out the SWEETEST little ring-bearer outfit and everyone about died when they saw him. Sidenote – isn’t my sister gorgeous? Both my sisters are so darn pretty.

And then we got married. David’s vows to me were amazing and mine were definitely sub-par comparatively. We cried because this marriage and our relationship is so freaking meaningful to us. We’ve gone through so much together so it got emosh REAL fast.

Tate’s face here killlls me

Tate and E held hands the whole time

Clobber-hugging Bekah

Afterwards

Desserts by Kelly wedding cake!

Perfect day. ♥

Dress: Anthropologie
Location: Tillamook, OR
Cake: Desserts by Kelly in Richland, WA (the best!)
Flowers: Fake
Makeup & Hair: Yers Truly
Matching Velour Scrunchies: Claire’s
People: The best there is
Husbando: My darling David

Happenings

August 21, 2014Leave a comment

A couple weekends ago, Bryan and I drove over to Seattle to visit friends and watch the Seahawks training camp with our pals the Lipes. Saturday night we had a scrumptious dinner with the Grims and celebrated their little girl’s 2nd birthday. Elmo cupcakes all around!

On Sunday we drove out to Everett and were bussed in (via schoolbus, SUCH a throwback) to the Seahawks training facility. We spread out our trusty Seahawks towel on the grass, devoured a pulled-pork sammie at 10 am, and watched m’boy Lynchie sag his shorts into man-pries. Them Hawks looked real sharp out there, doing football things and running around. It def got me excited for fall!

Mel and Me!

Hustle Like Russell

When we got back to Portland that night, we discovered that “Bite of Portland” was going on right by our apartment, which took care of dinner plans! I have to say I was pretty disappointed in it overall. $5 to get in, with a smattering of food booths/trucks which were NOT cheap and scant $6 wine pours. We ended up having some good stuff but it was a bit spendy for walking around in goose poop. Spokane’s Pig Out in the Park beats Portland by a landslide.

Clearly over the tiny pours

My dinner: hummus and pita

Bry’s lamb gyro

Street taco to share

Mid-week we also ventured into the out-of-doors for a mini adventure! We drove to Mt. Hood National Park and decided to do the 4 mile-ish Mirror Lake Loop and boy, was it purty!

The next weekend we ventured east, to my ol’ stomping grounds of wonderful Spokane, Washington. One of my besties, Holly was turning 30 on Saturday so we decided to make a little weekend of it and stay at The Davenport Friday night. We arrived late and immediately had drinks in The Peacock Room and then headed over to Steelhead for dinner.

As we walked to dinner down the all too familiar streets of my past, I felt strange pangs of nostalgia. These were the streets I traipsed along what felt like SO long ago – single, with chunky highlights wearing clearance tops from Hollister. Where I went on dates, met girlfriends for drinks and spent my piddley paychecks at River Park Square. Here I was now, 7 years the wiser with a hus-cat on my arm and budding wrinkles on my face. WEIRD.

We plopped down at Steelhead next to two gals in their early 20’s. Bedecked in 5-inch heels and picking at their salads with hopeful eyes and painted lips, they chatted nervously about this guy and that. Which bar they should “start at” and where they hoped to end up (of COURSE I was eavesdropping). I wanted to take these young women by the shoulders, look deeply into their kohl-rimmed eyes and tell them that none of it matters. To go out and have fun and be 23 and not worry about men, or looking as close to a hooker without actually being a hooker as possible. To NOT WORRY about playing “games” and just enjoy life. But alas, I dug into my pizza and fry combo with a smile on my face. An “I’m glad I figured out a little something” kind of a smile.

Most comfortable bed EVER

The next day was Holly’s 30th and we celebrated out in Greenbluff where her fam owns some property. It was right out of a Dixie Chicks music video, sprawling orchards with apricots and peaches, laced with sunflowers and hummingbirds. And a’course like any country song, we had plenty of beer :). Holly’s dad roasted a pig and everyone brought sides and fixins (how great is the word fixins, btw?). We set up a huge tent to keep out of the sun and everyone set up their respective “campsites”. We drank strawberry lemonade-vodkas, had delicious birthday cake and obvs s’mores at the end of the night.

The highlight had to easily be the epic game of Chubby Bunny that Holly and Matt (her fiancé) played around the campfire. No joke, I have never laughed harder. Why is that game SO FUNNY!?

The next day we all packed up and hit the road. I had three marshmallow remnants stuck in my hair, soooo YEAH.

Lastly! I am well on the way to changing my name, which is kindof a major b**** if you ask me. I understand that there are automated websites that do everything for you nowadays, but they also cost money. I waited at Social Security for nearly an hour the other day and today I plan to do the same at the DMV. Lets change this tradition to boys taking the girls’ last names, mmmkay?

Honeymoon Haul + Wedding Bits

June 24, 20144 Comments

As some of you may or may not know, Bryan and I are going to Bali for our honeymoon. We leave on a red eye basically 24 hours after we say “I DO” and could not be more excited.

Source

We figured since we’re putting ourselves through that crazy red-eye, Hep A shots (which were a little B, btw), typhoid vaccinations, and the possibility of Bali Belly, we deserved a few odds and ends to make our stay a little more comfortable and yes, stylish.

Bry hit the mother-load at the Rack, procuring himself swim trunks, a few tee shirts and maybe the odd tank top. My trousseau shall be filled with travel-friendly (read: comfortable) and fun (read: cheap) vacation-wear. In addition was the SAS at Victoria’s Secret and a pair of falsies spotted at Sephora that I just HAD to try.

Here are the goods!

From Target:

I chose this bikini for two reasons. One, the top is push-up and two, the bottoms ARE NOT string-tie. Why doesn’t target have a 30 years + swim section?

I am usually not a fan of maxi skirts (ON ME) because I always end up feeling like they are a bit too short and I don’t think it is appropriate to “sag” your maxi skirt. This one however, I am excited to wear with, wait for it…CROP TOPS. Yes, m’friends. I shall don a crop top and bare my upper tum-tum to the world!

I decided to grab this little white pocket crop-top to pair not only with the tulip skirt but also with a pair of shorts to wear possibly over a swim suit. We shall see how I feel about it.

From T.J Maxx

There is the classiest T.J Maxx downtown Portland. You wouldn’t think it, but every time I go, I am treated to perfectly arranged clothing racks, sparkling dressing rooms and a well-stocked candle section. A + downtown T.J. A+.

Boring navy tank. I SWEAR this brand from T.J Maxx makes the softest tees and tank tops. They are always under $7.99 and I mean, you just CANNOT beat that.

Shorts like these were all over the store. And being the true Maxxinista that I am, I had to partake. Dare I say, they look a bit like pajamas but I feel like Bali will welcome this look. Plus, they have a stretchy waist band. YES please!

They had a TON of makeup brushes this time around. Some off-brands that I had never heard of, but also ones by Borghese and Models Own. I decided to grab this little blending brush because it was $2.99 and it looked decent.

Sephora & Victoria’s Secret

I spotted these at Sephora a few weeks ago and was all, “yeah right”, they cannot be real mink. Well, jury’s still out. I haven’t the slightest idea of what they are truly made of, but really, I don’t care. Just look at that crazy lash action. I think these might be a wedding-day contender, and at $10, they didn’t break the bank.

I spent a mere $13 on ALL of these goodies (gotta love that SAS). A VS Heavenly (my FAVE VS scent) body wash, Lip Plumper in Baby Pink, purse-sized Heavenly Body Mist and a nail polish in String Bikini. Don’t mind if I do!

And that’s it for my haul – check back soon for a re-cap of our awesome weekend!

My Bridal Shower

May 8, 201423 Comments

Hey Rumplestilskens!

Such a scary little man, Mr. Stilsken. But whatevs, it’s fun to say!

Last weekend was my first ever wedding shower. And what a shower it was. Sister Meg and my mom hit it outta the mothereffin ball-park. The affair was SO completely perfect and wonderful, that I didn’t want it to end. Seriously. Which is probably why at least 50% of the guests left half way through me opening presents…oops.

Anywho! On to the fun.

I got into the Tri and immediately went to a nail place so they could saw off my dead skin and polish my toes. I walked in and there were like 7,432 people there so I said “how long for a pedicure?” “Five miiih!” said the woman. “You pick color!”

I chose Flip-Flop Fantasy from China Glaze (duh) and settled into the chair. 25 minutes later, someone started my pedi. 5 miiih later my ASS. Oh well. I paid and tipped like a good person and then went home to start the agonizing process of getting myself ready.

1.75 hours later and I had my extensions clipped in, crazy eyelashes on and waaaay too high of wedges strapped to my feet.

Could you just DIE over how well these ‘stensions match my hurr?

Then I went upstairs and GASPED.

IT. WAS. BEEEEEEEEAUTIFUL.

First, we sat down to the most adorable “tea” luncheon ever in existence. I say tea with air quotes because while there were mis-matched teacups adorning the table, no actual tea was served. We Danielsons like to stick purely to our Crystal Lights and alcoholic bevs. Finger sandwiches, caprese bites, my aunt’s famous boyos and delicious mini-quiches were among the delicacies beautifully displayed on delicate tea stands. The cuteness was overwhelmingly faultless.

Knowing it was all for me was tough. I tried to quell any sarcastic or self-deprecating comments which usually escape my mouth when I feel awkward or un-deserving of something. It just felt so funny to have this beautiful party…for me. Like, it’s me. The girl who gets lost going to QFC and has dirty feet. The girl who ATTENDS these parties, not the one who is celebrated.

After eating, we played games. And SHUT UP if you hate games at showers. Games are the best part, especially the poopy diaper game at baby showers, that one’s the best. First we played a trivia game all about marriage, I scored a 3/15 so basically- sh*t, I’m doomed. Next, we played the “guess the celebrity couple game” – where we stared at large pictures of our fave celebs (faces blacked-out) and tried to guess their identities.

There were some REAL throwbacks, like Jessica Simps and Nick Lachey. Man, those were the days amiright!?

After that, Megan read off some questions that she had emailed Bryan and I had to guess his answer. For every wrong answer I had to chew a piece of gum. It started out great and I was NAILING IT. Then the tougher questions came and the wad grew larger and larger. I drooled. I did.

Then we had dessert! My sister Ray-Ray made the cupcakes and per usual, they were completely delectable and perfect. I mean, just feast your eyes.

There were also jelly beans, jordan almonds, petite-fours, coconut macarons, mini berry tarts, dutch mints AND these raspberry swirl sugar-coated things. I had everything, obvs.

Then we opened gifts which is really the only thing I was looking forward to (I KID. I kid) I got the best things ever in the world and everyone is too nice to me and I just felt like getting down and washing everyone’s feet like Jesus. I was that grateful.

After that, sister Amy PTFO and went into her room and locked the door to take a nap and I didn’t see her for 16 hours.

Then my good friend Graham came over and he brought wine and we caught up on tour jetés (he’s a real live dancer. like classically trained and sh*t) and talked about high school.

Then we went to dinner at Bookwalter with Bryan’s parents and I had flatbread. It was amazing food and wine and I LOVE that our parents get along so well. I wish we were all next door neighbors (no, I really do).

And that was that!

A Seasoned Bride

October 23, 2013October 28, 20134 Comments

I will be 30 years old when I get married.

*gulp*

“Oh my god. Is this bad, is this bad?”

“You got a f***in dart in your neck.”

Lemme start by saying that I don’t think 30 is actually old. It should be 30 years YOUNG. If you don’t believe me, just watch 13 Going on 30 and feast your eyes on Jenn Garner, as she styles her hair with pencils. However, since I have friends my age who are celebrating 7-year (yes, SEVEN YEAR) anniversaries I think you all can understand my feelings.

Before you judge me, my budding crow’s feet and high-waisted pants, let’s make one thing clear. I realize the consequences of the timing. It’s true, I’ll be married at 30 and subsequently a 30-something mother and no, I suppose it’s not idyllic. However, I’m acknowledging these things and trying to embrace them. Sometimes, life aint pretty:

Says it all.

I know that our photog will have to use her filters and blurs all over our mugs. And that I will not be able to party until 2 am. I know I will have to work out like crazy and can’t rely on a young, rapid metabolism to get me in shape. Gone are the days of being 22 and entire loaves of bread dipped in Gold’n’Soft. Say la vie.

Since 99.9% of my friends are happily wed, I will be among the stragglers. The people who come to the party , like, 3 hours late. Already drunk, donning a stretched out halter top from Old Navy and smudged mascara.

Or a stretched out wife-beater and sparkly bolero.

To be completely honest with y’all, there were times I thought it would never happen. I feared I wasn’t worthy, deserving or ready. I pictured myself a living Cathy comic, minus the cats.

Being a 30-year-old bride means slight adjustments that I wish I didn’t have to undergo. But it also means a wealth of really awesome stuff too.

We no longer po’. College loans are paid off, credit card debt is non-existent. I’m not tied down to grocery-store generics, jeans from JcPenney’s or having to wait for the semi-annuals at B&BW (even though I still do).
My tastes have progressed. Gone are visions of a hot-pink affair, with rhinestones, zebra print and tiaras. I’ll pass along those ideas to the folks at My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding.
Thanks to a pretty awesome life so far, I still basically feel like a kid. Evidence: I would willingly see Disney on Ice…or really anything on ice.

The most valuable? I feel that I finally know what I want in the love department and otherwise. I’ve been single, I’ve been in a relationship. I’ve ignored red flags, made killa mistakes and stayed in bad situations too long… rough pumpkins. I sowed them wild oats and made a quilt (wrong kind of sewing…).

While the pros of marrying young are plentiful, so are the pros of marrying a bit later in life. I’m 100% all in. Would 24-year old Natalie have been so sure? That would be a loud and resounding HELL NAH.

Just a baby.

It was scary to reinvent myself again and please excuse my use of the word, too much Lifetime . I’d like to think that bravery played a part in all this, because 3 or so years ago, I hit ctrl+alt+delete on a life I knew and moved to Wyoming to re-boot m’sytems. Enter Bryan.

Around Bryan, I can be 100% me. Pure, unadulterated Natalie (pulp-free of course). I can sing Legally Blonde the Musical in the car really loud including hand motions in his FACE. He fetches me pink glazed rainbow sprinkles donuts from Top Pot (maybe this is not a good thing). He teaches me how to talk with a southern drawl and we hold lengthy conversations whilst using our Lew-siana accents, discussing imaginary situations “down on the bayou”.

I have found my “mullet” of a spouse – Bryan is business in front, party in the back and after a decade or so of searching, I have found my leading man.

Looking especially heroic atop a mothaf*ckin mountain

So, we may be sporting a few fine lines, astigmatism and softer mid-sections, but it’s nothing a little Oil of Olay and the right medications can’t fix.