A Typical June Weekend

OH HI.

IMG_0942

This past weekend was a random one, of sorts.  We had sun, we had rain, I was drunk, I was sober. On Thursday afternoon, Bryan announced that he was climbing Rainier with his pal Josh from Jackson Hole and they were set to leave in the wee small hours of the morning on Friday.

This left me to my own peculiar devices on Friday evening and were they ever. On my lunch break, I went to the Targs as I usually do 5-7 times per week.  I have unsuccessfully been trying to decorate Bry and I’s sorry little apartment since we moved in and well, our bare walls speak for themselves. Whilst Targeting, I picked up 2 things for said walls and the Bandaid Brand Friction Block which I have been looking for. Because couldn’t we all do with a little less friction?

img9

After work, I strolled the aisles of World Market, Pier 1 and Bed, Bath and Beyond, picking things up and setting them down. If somebody watched me shop for home decor, they might think I was a sad clown on her day off.  Although a sad clown probably has lots of days off, cause really, who wants to hire a sad clown? ANY-who… the point is, shopping for home decor is quite confusing and frustrating for a girl like me who can’t make a decision to save her LIFE. Furrowed brows and plenty-o-frowns. RHYMING.

“This mirrored end table is cute but so is this bright turquoise slightly antiqued one look at that black lacquer bookshelf but I came for an end table OMGee these candles smell good.”

I go in with an idea, a purpose and leave feeling totally overwhelmed and oftentimes sweaty.  I will emerge with a cute package of black and white paper napkins or an iPhone case or a lovely reed diffuser, only to return home to my white walls and solitary picture frame.  Also need to take more pictures, because slutty photos from spring break in Vegas are no longer appropriate.

Friday night was spent eating bowls of cereal for dinner, crafting and watching Pretty Little Liars season 3.  Netflix timed the release of the new season perfectly, as Bryan cannot STAND this progrum. I am ADDICTED.  I mean, you’ve got Ezra for man-candy, makeup inspiration from Hannah and plenty of suspense thanks to A. WHO IS A??  After my third bowl of Bunches, a few paper cuts and a coconut oil hair douse – it was lights out for me.

Saturday morning commenced with an elusive event, which had not taken place in weeks: exercise. 30 minutes on the elliptical catching up with those damn Kardashians. And lemmejustsay, Kimmy’s derriere has reached a new level. I mean, I know you were preggers but COME ON. It has a roundness to it that is seriously NOT HUMAN.

Then I hit the showers for a hair washing after a 6 day sabbatical. Bryan doesn’t understand why I brag about such things and I remind him that going 6 days in a row with nothing but a can of dry shampoo and a couple a top knots isn’t the easiest thing in the world.  So I washed & conditioned using my new absolutefavoriteholygrail product:

kp-deeppenetratingreconstructor-small

Then I self-tanned and walked around our apartment naked with the blinds closed listening to Abba super loud and eating handfuls of chocolate chips.

Oh and check out my white nails. #loveorhate?

IMG_0943

After I was tanned and properly made-up, I made a trip over to Snoqualmie to visit sister Rachel and my pal Jaclyn.

IMG_0944

What is going on with my eye?

Of course, Rachel was baking (what she does best) and was cursing the lack of baking sheets at the house Jaclyn was house sitting for. But really, who doesn’t own baking sheets?!

Rach made butterscotch cookies and then we made a family favorite, Oreo balls. I DIE for Oreo balls. We scamped around, chatted about boys and I played with the dog whose name was Shelby but Rachel called him Molly, which was really funny at the time.  Then I did Rach’s makeup for fun and discovered the shocking fact that she does not use under-eye concealer and also has a love for NYX roller ball eye shadows which are all quite lovely. I always learn so much from Rachel.

Shenanigans:

IMG_0953

Donning Rach’s New Sephora Lip Stain

IMG_0954

Jumping Picture FAIL

After that, I headed to really exciting places like Michaels and Hallmark. Quite possibly the most popular stores for women over the age of 80.  I then made a quick stop at Marshalls where I snatched up a creme colored blouse (yes, blouse) that I am now in love with. It was a geriatric shopping trip, minus adult diapers and prunes.  Maybe they should sell these products as a two-fer?

I got home and settled into the couch with Cheez It’s and P.L.L when Bry called and told me he was off the mountain. Yippeee! Ever since this incident, I am always a complete worry-wart when he goes up Rainier.

A couple hours later he was home and we went to Red Robin per tradition. Bry went for the Royal burger and  for me – clucks n fries with ranch. Healthy.

Sunday was spent with Bryan recuperating from ascending a jillion vertical feet in SKI BOOTS. Katie and Josh stopped by to exchange some gear and Josh’s feet were GNARLES. I almost took a picture. Needless to say, I don’t know HOW these boys shove their feet into ski boots with the edges literally slashing through their skin in 80 degree heat with a headache and nothing in their stomachs but a vanilla flavored Hammer Gel. Like, what?

I ran a few errands while Bry unloaded the Jeep and nursed his sore muscles by staying inside and sipping on Rainier beer because it was just so appropriate.

While running errands, I noticed this new establishment:

IMG_0961

I feel like my cousin Mike would appreciate this.

 Then we celebrated Father’s Day by meeting up with mom and pop Nash and brother KC at Via Tribunali in Fremont.  I love it there. The pizza is amazing and the ambiance is even better. A perfect cap to my weekend!

IMG_0967

Meaty

IMG_0968

IMG_0965

Beauty Product Misses

For any gal who has fallen victim to a product slathered in catchy marketing and boasting “miracle” results only to discover it’s complete and utter uselessness, I say this: I am you.

I am the girl who spends hours, yes hours watching, reading and researching products that lay claim to serious results with no avail.  While I like to think that the majority of the items I choose to buy have been methodically selected, sometimes this is far from the truth.  I, like so many women, am easily wooed by product displays, limited editions, or my weakest spot – cute packaging.  Stick a piece of poo in a pink box with a cute font and I’m smitten.  You get the drift :).

Recent evidence of genius cute marketing:

photo

Instantly Instagramed Post-Purchase

The purpose of this post is to hopefully save some of you (the millions who are reading) from repeating my beauty section mistakes.

Got2Be Beach Trippin

beach_trippin_spray_180x270_us

Basically, I feel this entire brand is garbage. The name is bad enough. Textbook example of how cute packaging and unrealistic promises can break our hopeful hearts.  Or maybe it’s only me. I really should just splurge for the Bumble & Bumble Surf Spray, but can’t yet justify the $25 cost for what seems like a little salt-water.

Tresemme Dry Shampoo

1338-333076-fresh_strt_fresh_strt_smoothing_dry_shmpoo_300x400

My never-ending hair growth saga has constituted the purchase of many hair products to aid in my quest for boob-length locks.  Dry shampoo is a necessity as frequent hair washing is a major no-no in the hair growth department.  For this beauty miss, I simply cheaped-out on my all time favorite dry shampoo, Batiste , for this $3 version. It comes out like a jet (TWSS), the formula is too wet (again, TWSS) and it leaves a dreaded white residue on your hair (this is out of control).

Macadamia Natural Hair Oil

oil-group_310_363

I was surprised by my distaste for this hair oil.  Lots of beauty gurus love this line.  The smell was nice at first, but I grew tired of it overtime and I felt it actually made my hair more dry! The horror! For a MUCH better alternative, albeit, substantially more expensive is Moroccan Oil.  Or, Nectar of the Gods as I call it.

Ulta Brand Tanning Products

2143593

Self tanning products have become all the rage suddenly. I guess people are finally getting hip to how bad the sun is for your skin, derrr. As a child of a skin-cancer survivor many times over, I quit my tanning bed regime long ago.

As a result, I have become a connoisseur of drugstore self-tanning products. Neutrogena, Hawaiian Tropic, Jergens. They all aight.  L’Oreal Sublime Bronze is one of my favorites, save for the trail of glitter it leaves behind. Strippers prolly buy this stuff by the buckets.  I have yet to dive in to pricier options like St.Tropez, Fake Bake or the one I covet over all else by Tarte.

The Ulta self-tanner performed as well as you’d expect it to, which was completely disappointing.  Hardly any color and it faded terribly, read: lizard skin.

Maybelline The Falsies Mascara

volum-express-falsies-washable_model-shot_132321

Finding the right mascara is kind of like shopping for jeans. What looks great on one person gives the other saggy-butt. You understand.  Mascaras can be lengthening, volumizing, separating, moisturizing, the list goes on and on. For most, a combination works best. I have tried the Falsies multiple times, due to it’s wide popularity and good price. Each time, I was left with stiff, jagged spider eyes which isn’t exactly what I was going for. However, I have seen this product perform beautifully on others so I suppose the vote’s still out.

So that’s it, I hope I helped. Save your pennies for sensible things like a magic set or a quesadilla maker. Splurge on a vacation to Dollywood but please, don’t buy these products.