Wedding Dress Shopping

Hey there! Hi there! Ho there!

I think it’s high time I posted about wedding dresses again, yes? I have much to say about the subject because I actually went shopping for this garment. And now that it’s over – I have MUCH more to say. So, let’s dish.

Thought No. 1

Wear underwear. Not a thong.

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Yes Ma’am

The night before I ran to Target for essentials like cotton candy air fresheners and Glade products. It was then that I also realized I would be basically neked in front of a complete stranger the following day. So I did what any Girl Scout would do (yes, I was a Girl Scout). I PREPARED m’self. Grabbed me some full-bottomed underwear and my own strapless bra. No, I didn’t already own one SO SHUT UP. And MAN am I glad I did. Homegirls were ALL up in my dressing room. As they neatly packed away each ‘no’ back into the plastic garment bag, I shivered in my skivvies and wished they would HURRY THE F UP.

I digress.

Thought No. 2

Keep an open mind.

While I stuck to my guns with the silhouette, I surprised myself with things like beading, material and embellishments. I went in thinking romantic, sweet and kind of ethereal. I came out favoring glam, sophisticated and well, princessey. With a twist of ballerina. Can you blame me?

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I die.

It is really important to trust your instincts. After all, we have been dressing ourselves for a while. However, shows like What Not to Wear also prove that we can’t always trust what we see in the mirror. Canadian tuxedos are also proof.

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I have learned that my body is not conducive to anything super fitted through the hips and bust. Mostly because I lack both. Therefore, it was easy to rule out SO many types of dresses (trumpet, fit n flare, mermaid, what have you).

Thought No. 3

Throw your Mom a bone.

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Nancy Palin

If your Mom has her little heart set on a flowing chiffon Greek goddess style gown – just try one on. It will do her heart good.

Thought No. 4

Don’t go to salons where every dress is out of your price range.

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Luckily, my research steered me from wasting my time at a salon where dresses start at 5K. The Cinderella inside of me would love to wave a magic credit card and don a designer gown on my big day. However, we all make choices. I choose a trip to New Zealand. Or Croatia. Or a tufted sofa from Restoration Hardware. Thus, I mentally bid adieu to Vera, Monique,  Miss Pettibone and Jen Packham. Adieu. Adieu. To you and you and you.

Thought No. 4

You can’t always have your cake and eat it, too.

When it comes to actual cake, this is completely bogus. However, whilst shopping, I quickly realized that my wedding look “vision board” (so to speak) was not cohesive in the slightest. My ideas of groomsmen in khaki and a birdcage veil received a negative reception once I transitioned from sweet little Pinterest dresses into the more dramatic stuff. While I wish I could have it all, khaki and bling simply do not marry well.

THIS:

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DOES NOT GO WITH THIS:

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you get it

Thought No. 5

It’s YOUR dress.

WORK IT Mama June

After I had found 4 strong contenders, I found myself staring into the faces of my mom, sister and future mother-in-law for some kind of strong decision. Which one should I get? Which one had the “it” factor? Which flattered my body?

And I’m not gonna lie, white aint forgiving. Mentally critiquing every aspect of my body and trying to stifle self-deprecating rhetoric was tough. No matter how many times my loved ones assured me how dazzling I looked, the innate fear of looking like a linebacker in a white dress was enough to cause self-doubt.

It’s true, it is MY dress. I will wear it. It shall hang in my closet where (hopefully) someday my kids will admire it…

Either that or  I’ll decide to pawn it for bingo money. #neversaynever.

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