Unicorn Bites

This post is dedicated to Gary R. Danielson. You see, today he turns 60! He is the best father a gal could ask for and I love him so, so, so much. Happy Birthday Gary!

I like unicorns.

Kind of alot. Oh, and thank you to 14Four for making me the sorcerer of Firefox.

Today is the day where I’ll share with you the top-secret recipe I have been plotting. Please bear in mind, this recipe is not for the weak n’weary. This is balls-to-the-wall, bat-sh*t cookie craziness. Before you go assuming that nothing could be worthy of such a valiant culinary effort, know this: people will love you more after you make this recipe. It’s that simple.

Here’s what I suggest: Make these on your next day off. Print off the recipe, grab yourself a cappuccino and head to the grocery store. $30 and 7 hours later you’ll be glad you did. Not only does this recipe take a little time, but also some pre-planning. Living in a place like Jackson Hole, Wyoming means that I’m devoid of certain amenities like a cake supply shop or Target. I was forced to take to the internets to procure such ingredients as edible glitter, which costs$6.78 for 5 grams. BFD – these puppies are worth it. Plus, every gal needs a little edible glitter in her life.

I should also note that this recipe is by no means a creation of my own mind. While I hate to admit it, there are other unicorn fans out there who are darn clever – click here to see this idea in it’s original form. You’ll note the author is quite funny, which furthered my determination to successfully re-create these majestic little gems in my own kitch. I mean, she calls them “unicorn poops” for heaven’s sake. You gotta love her.

I followed her recipe on instructables very closely, but obviously modified it just slightly to fit my needs.


Step One: Make the dough

Here is where you can introduce any basic sugar cookie recipe you like. I used the one from the instructables site, but ended up not loving the taste so I would suggest another sugar cookie dough that you’ve made before.

Step Two: Dye the dough

Now that you have your dough completed, you’ll need to separate it out into 6 equal portions for red, orange, yellow, green, blue and purple. I used a half cup measure for each color and it came out just about perfect for 6 portions. Place the dough into 6 different cups or bowls and using regular food coloring, dye your doughs to your desired shades.

I noticed that I needed way more food coloring for the red and blue shades. Make sure you mix the colors into your doughs thoroughly. Try and enlist a friend to help with this step as your hand will get super tired if doing this sans a hand mixer.  I went for nice, bold shades of each color to achieve maximum unicorn-ness.

Once the doughs are dyed, place them in plastic bags and refrigerate the doughs for at least one hour.

Step Three: Molding the dough

Once the doughs have been refrigerated it’s time to make the cookies! I literally achieved the shape of my cookies using the tried and true, trial and error method. What I found to be the easiest was to grab a small amount of dough (like a walnut sized piece) and roll it in between your palms to create a little snake shape, about 4 inches long. On a floured surface, roll out little snakes like this in each color in rainbow order and stack them next to eachother like this.

Once you have all the colors laid out nicely, roll them all together into one rainbow rope.

Now, take the rope and twist it like your twisting a tootsie roll wrapper.

At this point, I set the rope down onto the cookie sheet and formed it into almost a butt shape, as seen here.

You can really get creative and form your rope into any shape you like. The gal from the instructables site formed hers into more poopy looking shapes. So pick your poison.

Step Four: Baking and Decorating

This Would Be: Disney Princess Glitter Gel 4-Pack, CK Edible Glitter, Betty Crocker Flowers and Betty Crocker Pearl Cupcake Gems

After you have successfully molded all your dough into wonderful cookies, place them on the cookie sheet and bake them per the instructions you followed for your dough. They may take a little longer to bake if you made them a little thicker like I did. Watch them closely because we don’t want our beautiful rainbows to turn brown. After you remove them from the oven, immediately grab your shiny balls and push them into the dough. I used a toothpick to help aid me with this step.

Once the cookies have cooled, it’s time to add our first layer of sparkle. Take the sparkle gel and spread it all over the cookie, I used my finger because I’m classy.

Immediately after spreading the sparkle gel, press on the flower sprikles or any other sprinkles or jimmies you have on hand.

After the sprinkles are adhered, it’s Tinkerbell time! Take the edible glitter, pinch a tiny amount and sprinkle delicately across the surface of each cookie. Dot a little on your cheekbones while you’re at it.

And now, the majesty is completed. Spread the joy, share the sparkle, shine the light of the unicorn on someone’s day!

Pumpkin Dumpster and a Partidge in a Pear Tree

Happy Holidays All!!!!

Let’s start this off appropriately.

"Merry Christmas, merry christmas and happy holidays!"

I LOVE that Christmas song by N’Sync, it has remained a fave since high school!

Yes, that is a genuYne Christmas tree sweater. Not to be confused with a Looney Tunes lettermans jacket…which will eternally remain on my Christmas list.

So who else is PUMPED about the Biebs coming out with a Christmas Album? Ah hells yes.

I am SO pumped.

The Danielson celebrated Thanksgiving in Issaquah with the rest of  my awesome, crazy family and I was sad to miss it. AND they get to spend Black Friday shopping in Seattle which is even more sad. Here in Jackson it’s slim pickins, unless your in the market for a new saddle…or backcountry ski setup (don’t worry Bryan already has his).

Since my fam is in Seattle, they instructed me to send them ideas for gifts. Especially since homegirl’s birthday is on CHRISTMAS EFFING EVE. Over the years, I have tried to whip my family into shape: demanding no birthday presents be wrapped in Chistmas wrapping paper. Ensuring there is NO fancy dessert or ahem, tirimasu. Ensuring there IS a Desserts by Kelly cake, preferably red velvet. Commanding attention and adoration at all times.

As I sat down to compile my short reasonably sized list, I enlisted the help of the internets. I found many sites that will help you neatly organize your list, provide links and price points to items AND customize your list by changing the theme. I chose the “candy” theme for obvious reasons. I’ve provided a link to the work-in-progress Christmas list here in case anyone is feeling generous this year ;).

My wishlist

Yesterday was Thanksgiving, duh. B and I celebrated privately, much like Michael Scott celebrates Groundhogs Day. Twas magical. Kicked off by working out solo in the bank gym while watching the inevitable decline of Kimmy K and her scrunched-up face soon-to-be EX the Hump-Dog. I love E!

We then ventured out on the Elk Refuge for a nice, 4 mile walk. It was a beautiful day!

Then we stopped to get vodka mixers. When we got home, it was nothing but pure Thanksgiving goodness. We ate Chex Mix, watched Home Alone and Elf and drank wine and cocktails.

We decided on making the following T-Giving faves:

  • Turkey – Just the breast. Less jibbly bits, innards and overall jarnickles.
  • Stuffiing – Outta the bird ok? I’ll take my stuffing, hold the sickening turkey tummy lining thank you.
  • Mashed Potatoes – LADEN with salt.
  • Green Salad – Just to mix things up a bit.
  • Rolls – Carbs, meet my bagel.

(For those of you who don’t know what a bagel is, make a circle with your thumb and middle finger and press it directly into your tummy, using your belly button as the bagel hole. Mine resembles a plain bagel right now. During the summer when I’m really tan, it’s more of a pumpernickel).

We also enjoyed a favorite Danielson family recipe known quite simply as, Pumpkin Dumpster. Not sure how this dessert procured it’s splendid little name, nor do I care. Here’s how to re-create the majesty:

  • 1 large can pumpkin
  • 1 13oz can evap milk
  • 3 eggs
  • 2 tsp cinnamon
  • 1 box yellow cake mix
  • 1/2 tsp ginger
  • 1/2 tsp salt
  • 1 cup sugar
  • 1/2 tsp cloves
  • 1/2 tsp nutmeg

Blend the above ingrediants except the cake mix and pour into a 9 x 13 pan. Cover with 1 box yellow cake mix (dry) Top with chopped puts (optional). Pour 1 1/2 cubes melted margarine over the top. Bake 50 mins at 350.

Pumpkin Dumpster Whirring Away

Today it is puking outside and tomorrow is opening day at the Village (or Teton Village). Highlights for tonight include tightening up my bindings so my skis don’t go shooting off every which way like they did on the pass. Also leftovers, which I have to admit I’m excited for.

Ok, I’m off to paint my nails gold!