Checking In

Today I thought I might provide a check-in of sorts. There is so much happening right now, with spring being well underway, summer plans being made and the possibility of the world opening back up looming. This is where I am at, in Portland Oregon, right now.

So – vaccinations! I find every social interaction as of late must begin with the obligatory vaccine catch-up. “Did you get your first shot?”, “How did you get an appointment?!” “Pfizer, Moderna or J&J?” We talk about the complexities of getting an appointment, the side effects, the new Brazilian and British covid strains. We are beginning to hug our grandparents, see friends inside and officially stop wiping down our groceries (although WE only did this for about a week). Is there a REAL possibility that we will be inside public places with other people, not wearing masks and (horror of horrors) not social distancing??!

Returning to our places of work, to restaurants and stores, to concerts and arenas and Chuck-E-Cheese. It has me feeling some kind of way. On one hand, I am elated to throw it back to 2019. To waltz into a crowded Goodwill, sans-mask, footloose and fancy free. Breathing in the mixture of must, body odor and Jean Nate, unadulterated. I am excited to see the look on my daughter’s faces when they get to interact with their peers again. And the way my husband’s eyes will sparkle when he comes home from playing basketball. I cannot wait to share that morning cup of joe with my coworkers again. All of these things give me happiness to no end.

But also – there’s this: I am an ambivert. Or, as I like to call it an introverted-extrovert. I like a variety in life. But the past year has really thwarted that extroverted side of me. I have settled into my quarantine nest and the routines that go with it. And even though there have definitely been exceptions, I have loved being around my family everyday. I also finally found joggers in tall sizes (Old Navy!). The introvert in me has been thrust into the spotlight. She has gotten used to it. It has become homey and warm.

We have all gotten used to certain things, haven’t we? To the awkward “covid shuffle” around the grocery store, trying to keep a gap between us. To the absence of invitations to parties, game nights and play dates. To air high fives and chest bumps. I have gotten used to the glares in the park we sometimes get when Clara is not wearing a mask. Or the dirty looks from others when she is. I am ready to wave goodbye to these things, but not to others.

I am not ready to drop Clara off at day care again. To miss the sticky hugs I get each morning after her morning waffles, or witnessing the sheer pride she exudes from completed the whole alphabet puzzle. I am not ready to only see my husband between the hours of 7:30 to 10:30 pm on weeknights. I am not ready to say goodbye to my cozy work-from-home spaces, complete with a dog on my lap and no makeup on my face. Most of all, I am not ready to say goodbye to the calm of a more simplified life.

Can we keep all the good, but not the bad? Can we all continue to stay home when we are feeling sick? And wear a mask if we are feeling sick, but need to go out? Can we work from home when we need to, without feeling guilty? Can we tell people no if we’re not feeling it, without making 1,000 excuses? I feel like there is so much we have all learned about ourselves over this past year.

What have you learned? What do you hope our post covid world looks like?

Boyfriend Jeans, Babies and Bargains

Hello there muffins!

I have several topics to cover today, so let’s dive right in shall we!?

Firstly, we have boyfriend jeans. A baggier type of jean which often times features distressed details, this is a look that has been popular for many years. For whatever reason in the past, I shied away from them, thinking they would make me look bigger or more disheveled than I really am (and I’m already pretty disheveled). But then I noticed pictures everywhere of women rocking these type of pants with all kinds of super feminine tops and shoes. And if there’s one thing I can’t resist, it’s a frilly feminine look paired with somethin’ kinda boyish.

So I took the Forever 21 gift card I got for my birthday (thanks again Aunt Sandi!) and procured myself a nice little pair of boyfriend jeans. And guys….I love em!

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And while I was there, I made an impulse purchase…but I mean….feast your eyes! How could I NOT own this?

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Now onto babies!

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E is obsessed with these little Baby Alive suckers. Most of them either pee or poo (no, I’m not kidding) and as a result, we have teeny tiny sopping wet babydoll diapers strewn all over her bathroom, our kitchen table and floors. We basically have a Baby Alive day care. Watching her play with the babies is pretty precious though, especially when she introduces a new one to the group.

In terms of human babies though, you know I have to tell you about Tate.

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I haven’t seen my baby in over a month and I am seriously going through withdrawals. Meg tells me he is never without a train in his hand, he still LOVES books and is basically obsessed with anything Mickey Mouse. Oh Taterbug!!

 David and I took a random little trip to Eugene, Oregon last weekend. He went to the Ducks game while I went shopping and I ended spending the whole 3 hours chunk mostly at the Rack. Can you blame me!? I also ended up going to J.Crew Mercantile (outlet) and Old Navy.

And I’ll tell you what, I found some crap!

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Earrings were $4 and the puff ball keychain with GOLD hardware (been looking for gold forever!) was $5.

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Got this tee for myself and Megan! Old Navy, $14.99.

Then on Saturday night David and I had a little date night to a karaoke bar! I overdrew my lips and put on a black ribbed, sleeveless mock neck top FOR THE WIN.

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Oh! Did anyone get anything good at the T.J Maxx/Marshalls/Home Goods clearance? Those yellow stickers, man. I got a medium Yankee Candle jar candle for 3 bucks :).

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My 2016 (Random) Favorites

I decided another go-round of favorites was necessary for last year. Makeup, skincare, hair stuff, and the like can become so blasé these days!

Of cooourrrse everyone raved about Champagne Pop, Shape Tape and the Kylie Liquid Lipsticks but you wanna know what I want to talk about?

The cutest puppy on Pinterest!

The best boxed cereal!

How many times a peen is flashed on Game of Thrones?

You know….the important stuff. So here. It. IS.

** Please bear in mind that I am not restricting myself to things that debuted in 2016.**              These were simply my favorites in the year 2016, but could have been from 1987 for all I care.

Favorite Television Show 

This was a toughie. Here were the contenders:

  • Game of Thrones
  • Stranger Things
  • Walking Dead
  • Silicon Valley
  • American Horror Story

Winner:

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Favorite Perfume

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ARI by Ariana Grande!  Not the most sophisticated of scents. But boy, give me a sugary sweet perfume with a marshmallow undertone N.E day!

Favorite Baby

Was there a question in anyone’s mind!?!?!

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My sweet, sparkling baby angel Taterbug.

Favorite Candy

This has to go to a candy I’ve loved so much in 5th grade, it was my nickname at Girl Scout’s camp. A candy so delicious, Marshawn Lynch would score touchdowns for.

I’m talking about the one, the only…

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Favorite Excuse 

Made famous by one of my all-time favorite TV characters, Phoebe Bufffay:

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This realllllly rang true for me in 2016. For the first time in my life, I kinda just did what I wanted to. If I didn’t feel like making dinner, or matching my socks – I didn’t. No excuses. If someone invited me to a less than desirable function…cough, weddings, cough…, I just didn’t go. Call me an asshole. Selfish. It felt great.

And on the same token…

Favorite Man

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This guy ♥.

Who helped me in so many ways this past year and hopefully, I him :).

Favorite Purse

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2016 was all about the backpacks for me. Roomy, easy to organize and hands-free, I mainly used m’trusty Patagonia but then I got a couple realllly cute ones for Christmas that have changed the game!

Favorite YouTuber

Of course, I’m always going to watch the Beauty Gurus do their thang. I particularly love

But my newest YouTube obsession has been…BALLERINAS. In another life, I was one. In my current life, I lack the discipline, grace and stamina so I watch them on YouTube. Joy Womack is the first American to go to the Bolshoi Ballet and she is magnificent to watch.

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Favorite Physical Activity

Running is really the only form of exercise that I halfway enjoy. Going to a gym, lifting weights? Just, no. And DO NOT GET ME STARTED ON CROSS-FIT. I am basically the antithesis of cross-fit. But a nice, leisurely jog through the park in the autumn? Ah heyyyll yeah.

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Favorite Trend I’m Glad I Tried

Ok you guys – time to get real. I purchased a bodysuit last year. A bodysuit. And I got it at Forever 21. And when I wear it,  I feel like a girl of 10 again. In Unionbay overalls, three alternating colors of scrunchies on my wrist and of course a SLAMMIN’ bodysuit underneath.

Also, as you might expect, it comes unsnapped like all the time because I’m 9283 feet tall. I own the style featured below, but in a soft ballet pink.

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What were YOUR random favorites last year!?

Highlights, Healthy Ice Cream and Fun with Kiddos

HEY-YO

I hope everyone out there is ready for randomness in mass proportions today!

First things first, this dude:

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You know. Just your average man, at a busy Portland intersection on a pink elliptical 3-wheel bike. Please pay special attention to his casualness. I also have this on video, leave a message below if you want me to post that sh*t.

I have gotten back on the running train you guys! I go at lunch and go anywhere from 2-5 miles. About a 10-minute pace. I’m very proud of myself.

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A couple weeks ago, my sis Rachel, David and I went to the Sports Page in none other than historic downtown Kennewick. Rach and I decided to wear our hoods up because #thethuglife and I also decided to see if the pants statue outside would “fit” me. Can I also ask anyone reading from Kennewick WHY there is a pants statue outside the Sports Page? I mean, I love it…but why!?

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Megan and I have discovered a brand of ice cream you can get in the natural section called Halo Top. You can eat the whole damn thing for less than 300 calories. Also, they have a birthday cake flavor so basically YASS.

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Living part time with David’s daughter is seriously THEE best time. I now have a legitimate excuse to do the following activities without  judgement:

  • Sing “The Perfect Nanny” from Mary Poppins on repeat…I have found the Jane to my Michael.
  • Same goes for anything by Julie Andrews, Frozen and best of all, Tay-Tay.
  • Play Barbies for 3  hours.
  • Watch Sophia the First, Madeline or Mister Rodgers.

There is also quite a bit of hair styling (her, styling me that is), stuffed animal identifying and fairy spotting. It is all quite precious and wonderful :).

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This happened while playing Barbies the other day. Watch that hand, Ken!

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One of her many hairstyles. Totes Boho.

Lastly, I finally got my hair highlighted! You can tell from the above pic how bad it was…

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Freshly highlighted!

P.S Our office dog Tyson, lays like this on the regular for 2-3 minutes at a time. Nobody is petting him. Nothin.

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New Bikes, Purple Eyeshadow & 2 Mile Runs

Happy September minions

Photo Jun 11, 4 39 50 PM

Lots of new and hilarious things have been happening in our neck of the woods!

Here are the highlights.

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 I have been running at lunch and sending David selfies before and after. As you can see from the above images, I aim to be as cute and sexy as possible.

Similarly, we have gone on a couple of awesome dates! One was to a Peruvian restaurant and then to a bar that served $18 cocktails! I always force selfies in these situations because:

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We also went to David’s step mom’s company picnic on Mount Hood and rode the ski lift/alpine slide. We are savage.

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AND THEN there’s my new bike. Yes, I traded in my heavy, half-broken pink cruiser purchased in 2008 with a “Your One-Piece is Hot” sticker, for a shiny new blue bike from REI. Big hugs to David for paying for the bulk of it.

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We went to several smaller, locally owned bike shops like good Portlandians but after my “I want the cheapest bike you have” spiel was met with disapproving looks, we smartly headed to REI and nabbed this bad boy for $320. It has a bell, so that’s cool.

I obviously had to get a helmet because I am a half-inch away from crashing into rear-view mirrors on this hawk ON THE DAILY.

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obvs this was taken outside the liquor store

I plan to either a.) Cover it in My Melody stickers or b.) Bling this MFer out.

After this picture was taken, we went on a date to a little Italian restaurant and had wine and caprese salad and  then rode our bikes home. Am I Portland or AM I PORTLAND?

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look at this adorable man

In other news, I am totally head over heels in love with David’s dog Meira. She is a 10-year-old Australian Shepard, but looks like a puppy. I have never been around a trained dog, and lemme tell you – it is SO amazing. When you say “Sit Meira!” she does it. Mind boggling.

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Here is Meira watching Wentworth with me

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Patiently waiting for her favorite person ever (David) outside B.K

Also, I’ve been wearing some fun eyeshadow colors lately! Like, when was the last time you busted out your purples and greens? I did a peacock inspired look the other night and then about a week later I did some fierce golden/orange hues. GO ME.

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yes im squeezing my boobs together

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And lastly, my Max rides have been kinda poopy lately, as evidenced here. #chivalryisdead

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DIY Queen

This blog title makes me want Dairy Queen…m&m blizzard to be exact. But. Anyway.

I am in fact, the antithesis of a DIY-er. If anything, I am a DB-er (don’t bother-er) or I just go to Ikea and make David put things together. Most cosmetic endeavors, other than actually applying cosmetics are just not in my wheel-house. Sure, I’ll hang up a picture frame I super-glued back together or make the odd bunting for a bachelorette party (as evidenced below), but when it comes to really making an effort, I tend not to really give AF.

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BUT THEN. Then I saw this video on Facebook.

“Totally brill!” I thought, as I recalled the millions of little prints I have purchased over the years but never framed.

So, I went to Fred Meyer in pursuit of super glue, magnets and paint sticks. I already had the jute string at home. Here’s how it went down…

The paint sticks had a little indentation, which bugged me but I just figured they were good enough. The magnets I found were more decorative than the ones they used in the video and were in these multi-colored little casings.

So I just took a hammer and broke off that part. Then, I laid out all the sticks and super-glued the magnets to the ends of the paint sticks. Note that I did not stain the wood like they did in the video because I DON’T CARE THAT MUCH.

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HAAaaa NM my undies in the background

Then, I cut pieces of jute and tied the ends around both sides.

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Then I got out this old 2014 calendar of Paris prints my mom gave me and cut out one of the pictures I liked.

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Lastly, I clamped a picture between the sticks and adhered another set to the bottom. Then, David and I decided it didn’t need the set at the bottom so we just took it off. And ta-daaaaaaa.

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Like, not bad eh? I made another one with the Paris flag and hung it up too.

And yes, I am aware that like every BWG loves Paris decorating sh*t and I am fully one of them #noshame.

 

 

2016 Olympics – My Thoughts

Greetings fellow Americans!

Today I bring you MY thoughts and opinions on all things ‘lympics. From gymnastics (obvi), to swimming, judo, women’s basketball and every other sport in between….except skeet shooting…I guess I didn’t watch any skeet shooting…

WOMEN’S GYMNASTICS

Y’all know I’m totally obsessed. My pink ombre sparkly leo for a 6-footer is LITERALLY on order for 2020. The following are the questions I have while I watched them compete:

  • Is butt glue used to avoid a large, perpetual wedgie?
  • If there is no butt glue in use, how CRAZY do those panties have to be?
  • How do you feel knowing that the only thing between 3 million people’s eyes and your crotch, is a thin piece of spandex?
  • Is it not a little sad that when they’re done doing doing gymnastics, they will be these eensy tiny people with high voices?
  • What if a piece of the glitter from their face or hair falls into their eye right before they hit the vault?
  • Have they ever farted while on the balance beam, and lost their balance?

JUDO

Since when was slapping eachother’s hands out of the way and grabbing for one another’s baggy jackets a sport? To me, Judo looks like two chicks fighting over the same Burberry trench for 75% off at the Nordstrom Half-Yearly.

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WOMEN’S BEACH VOLLEYBALL

Soft porn.

MEN’S INDOOR VOLLEYBALL

SRSLY just cover yer vital organs. If I was a men’s volleyball player and I was in the back row, I would literally get into the fetal position with one arm dangling out and just hope to GOD the ball didn’t puncture a lung. It is insane how hard they smack that ball and it is also nice that many of the USA men’s team is good-looking ;).

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MEN’S SWIMMING

I noticed a pretty big discrepancy in the bodies of these male swimmers. Most are ripped, like Michael Phelps and Ryan Lochte (or the world’s stupidest man) but others are not. And a few actually had little guts! I was allllll about the guys with the tummies. I felt that they were the Rudy’s. The underdogs. The little tummies engines that could!

Gotta Love this Paunch! Photo Cred

Gotta Love this Paunch!
Photo Cred

WOMEN’S SWIMMING

I would not participate in this sport for two reasons, and two reasons alone:

  1. swimming caps
  2. the knee-length swimming suits

Not even Giselle would look cute in those get-ups and in my experience with sports, the better you look, the better you perform. I am sure the way they cut those suits to come in on the sides of the chest and expose SO much of those crazy latissimus dorsi muscles is for aero-dynamic reasons but LAW, is it fug. NO can do amigo.

I must say these gals make it look FIERCE THO…

#swimpits

WOMEN’S RUGBY

I feel like each and every women’s rugby player had to successfully complete the following rigorous training: 7 years of roller derby, wearing 2 sports bras during 5 of those years, drinking Spicy V-8 every morning and NEVER getting to wear your hair down ever. Also, for whatever reason…I feel like I would be okay at women’s rugby? yes? im kinda scrappy.

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Photo Cred Khaleesi’s not-so-famous sister gettin’ her 15 min of fame as a ref

What are your thoughts about the olympics!?