It’s around that lovely time of year where I am reminded that I am getting older. And while a part of me wants to go on a bender of champagne and injectables, the other part of me wants to pay it forward. In this case, in the form of a teensy bit of wisdom I’ve learned through years of crazy highs and deep dark lows. Take it as you may. I am by no means a super-accomplished, worthy woman. I am but a humble gal in her 30’s with a sh*t retirement account, still making plenty of mistakes and buying too many items in the dollar section of Target. And here is what I know..

1. admit mistakes with grace

far too many people cannot admit to their own mistakes. far too many people point the finger or find an excuse. own your sh*t and people will love you for it.

2. be politely upfront

especially in dating. unless you are less than 25 years old and TRULY not looking for Mr. or Mrs. right. say what you mean and what you want, politely.

3. don’t be afraid to be “normal”

i sometimes feel like society has made us all feel like we need to be weird to be cool. but it’s not true. don’t force yourself to listen to indie bands if you just really love Taylor Swift.

4. stay out of the goddamn sun

nobody is insusceptible to those UVs. and your SPF 8 sunblock isn’t helping. do yourself a favor and find shade.

5. don’t ignore red flags 

this is also especially helpful in relationships but also in general. I ignored red flags all over the place and it left me heartbroken again and again. trust yourself.

6. stop buying cheap vodka

if  you are above the age of 23, quit buying Burnett’s will ya? not saying you have to run out and get Grey Goose but for the love of God pay more than $9 for a fifth.

7. it’s okay to feel sad

i, like so many, tried masking pain with other (more unhealthy) options in my youth. i’ve now learned it’s perfectly fine to sit with pain, acknowledge it and just feel it. i promise it goes away faster this way.

8. see the bigger picture

do not sweat the small stuff. life seems too short to get caught up in the details. think bigger, look outside yourself. i feel like this is especially helpful in problem solving.

9. challenge your beliefs

don’t allow the news, your parents, your friends or what you consider to be “cool” resources dictate what you believe. challenge your views, thoughts and beliefs. be authentically open-minded. this has served me so well.

10. have low expectations

the happiest people i’ve ever met, expect so little. do not rely on others to make you happy or fill your bucket. find a way to fill it yourself.