Cream colored ponies and crisp apple strudel!

I’m stopping there, despite the fact that (like Andy Bernard) I hate NOT to resolve the melody.

Lately, I have stopped to take note of my favorite things that are not things.

Maybe it’s the start of a new year and I am feeling inspired, maybe it’s the fact that I just turned 30. Or maybe, just maybe, I have turned over a new leaf, and no longer care for Jo Malone products, vodka martinis and the splendor that is a new tube of lipstick.

or NOT.

More than likely, I have simply stopped for 5 seconds to stop and smell the damn roses. We are all well aware that I could never fully let go of my hearty, good ol’ American materialism.

So here they are. Favorite things that are not things.

1. Taking off my bra and my socks

(I feel like this deserves a little explanation)

Even better than removing my unmentionables is my SOCKS. Oh yes. As many of you may or may not know, I suffer from a mild case of cankles (where the ankle and calf blend together). Coffee cans, Grecian columns, tree trunks. Unfortunately, they run in the family and no amount of calf raises remedies the thickness.

This time of year, I enjoy wearing boots and obviously I pair them with socks. Over the course of o day, the upper band of the sock slowly digs in to my leg, and due to my condition, becomes quite the annoyance. By 4:45 I am DYING to rip my boots off and peel the sausage casings garments from my ailing lower legs. I then begin the process of kneading the deep sock imprints from my skin, which, as it happens, is seriously the best feeling in the world.

2.  Finding one more string cheese in the bag when I thought they were all gone

3. Beating a level of Candy Crush that I have been on for almost 6 days running

4. Realizing just how much I love my fiance, like everyday (I had to have a sappy one)

5.  When it only takes one try to parallel park and people are watching so I feel like a badass

6. Giving awesome Christmas presents, like a Doug Baldwin jersey for sister Amy

7.  Listening to Phone Taps and Second Date Updates on Movin 92.5 on my drive to work in the morning

8. The feeling of the heating pad against my lower back (I am 84)

9. A good hair day

10. Breaking Bad. I know this could be classified as a “thing” but I don’t care. I freaking love this show, b*itch!! <- True fans will understand that.

All for now! BYE.