Ok guys. I have news!

Yesterday, B took me on what I think might be “the world’s perfect hike”. Well, according to Natalie that is.

What, you ask are the components necessary for this bold statement? Literally, it’s in bold. And I will tell you.

It’s simple.

A nicely groomed, happy trail…TWSS.

4,000 feet of elevation gain over 7.2 miles. So basically, you’re stair mastering continuously. Bombskie workout.

A restaurant at the top. Hello waffles. Hello Natalie.

A tram that carries you back down.

Shopping at the base.

These things made hiking to the summit of Jackson Hole Mountain Resort (aka to the top of the tram) pretty awesome.

We started out around 8:30 am and after a quick stop at Elevated Grounds to fill up our Sigg and add 2 pumps SF Vanilla to my house-brewed coffee, we were on our way.

All hail Yuban.

We reached the village at around 9 and made our way to the trail head, conveniently located right outside of the Four Seasons. With the smell of bacon, mimosas and Chanel No.5 wafting out the door and under my nose I pondered if I should ditch Bryan and poach the hot tub instead. Reluctantly, I pressed on heading up the path to catch up with Bryan. Glancing to my left I realized just yards away from where we were walking, I had learned to ski. Ca-reepy.

As we passed the lovely houses by the Four Seasons, I thought “Who lives in these places? Yuppie, snobbish, east coast families who play tennis, wear Burberry and visit they’re ‘modest cabin’ 2 weeks a year?”. If so…sign me up! Although I would rather play golf and wear Ralph Lauren. So there.

The first hour or so of our hike was really beautiful and relatively flat. We had stupidly left our bear spray behind so I made sure to bust out a couple musical ditties every now and again to scare any Berensteins away. These included hits from the Biebs, Glee and that song that goes “Love me, love me, say that you love me!”. Once the trail opened up we were no longer in danger of coming face to face with a bear but another quite ominous enemy was upon us. Hills. Big. Ass. Hills.

The hills on this hike varied from smaller, more gradual inclines to full-on butt burners. Bryan suggested we take a rest halfway through, at about 3.6 miles. However, as we passed the halfway point sign, I urged him to keep going. As he let out a whoop-whoop and congratulated me on my obvious core-ness, I smiled because I really just didn’t want to sit down, let my legs tire and run outta juice. Which, maybe is a little hard-core?

Towards the top, we stumbled upon a photo shoot taking place on a beautiful look-out point. As we trudged past, I asked one of the production assistants what it was for. Hoping it was a battle scene for an upcoming movie starring Johnny Depp or even better, Real Housewives of Orange County on vacation I got pretty excited! He then informed me it was for a web series called Yoga Today.

Meh… Can you imagine those skinny OC beeyatches hiking around in the mud in Jackson? Priceless.

When we reached the top (10,450 feet), we were swarmed with tourists, bundled up as if it was -25 in the middle of January. Cue fanny packs, jerseys, bright white tenny-runners and Jackson Hole logo gear. Of course, they had all taken the tram up to the top of the summit. Not like us bad-ass locals :-). We quickly used the bathrooms, debated ordering a waffle from Corbett’s (which we shot down in favor of sandwiches at home), snapped a pic or two and hopped on the tram for the 10 minute ride down.

After the quick ride down, we downed some vitamin water zeros and strolled through the shops. While shopping we saw skis. Bryan was ogling and I was crying.

Upon our return we made ginormous sandwiches, drank beers and vegged out on the couch all day.

Actually, Bryan took a nap and I wisely popped in a glorious Amanda Bynes movie while I could.

Sydney White – how I love you.