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Summer Readin’

Howdy y’all.

I’ve been watching a new Lifetime show , Kim of Queens and I am currently doling out y’alls like a southern belle. Apologies for that :).

Last night I finished yet another book and realized I haven’t kept my lovely bloggies abreast of any of my summer reads! THE HORROR. So, in true fourth-grader fashion, here’s what I read this summer.

50 Shades Darker by E.L James

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I’m not really that ashamed to admit I read the entire 50 Shades Trilogy. For whatever reason, I had to find out what happened with Miss Steele and Christian. It also helped that I found them all at Goodwill for $2 – because – let’s be real – nobody wants to be seen buying these at Barnes & Noble (although, I probably would have).

50 Shades Freed by E.L James

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I can sum up this trilogy, if we’re calling it that in ONE word: sex. There is really not much more to these books than that. I suppose one could call them educational in a way? Whatever. And yes, I am seeing the movie.

The Boleyn Inheritance by Philippa Gregory

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Oh, Philippa. How I love your writing. I think I may have enjoyed this book even more than The Other Boleyn Girl AND The Favored Child. This book focused on two of Henry VIII’s lesser known wives, Anne of Cleves and little Katherine (Kitty) Howard. After his subsequent marriages to Anne Boleyn and Jane Seymour (both dead), Henry decided to wed Anne of Cleves to form an alliance with her country and family. But girlfriend was prude and Henry wasn’t having it. He got rid of Anne so that he could marry the young Katherine Howard (who was young enough to be his grand daughter) but this relationship quickly crumbled and Katherine ended up on the chopping block too.

Unlike The Other Boleyn Girl, I liked seeing the older, grosser version of Henry VIII. He was waaay past his prime, with a rotten leg and a horrible disposition, but the women and men of court continued to throw themselves at him, showering him with compliments and praise. He had no idea that he was this putrid, sorry excuse for a human being because nobody would dare tell him so.

Just, fascinating!

The Paris Wife by Paula McLain

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I touched on this book in an earlier post, but never described how much I loved it. Have you ever read something that you loved so much, that you read each page twice simply because you didn’t want it to end? THAT, my friends, is how I felt about The Paris Wife.

Basically, this book is about Ernest Hemingway and his first wife, Hadley, their life in Paris and their inevitable separation. First of all, this book made me want to read everything by Hemingway (or Hem, as I refer to him now). Although this book is technically fiction, the author brings Ernest completely to life through Hadley, and highlights his point of view in a very interesting and poignant way.

Hadley is just awesome. She’s awesome. She is smart, practical yet also fun, and incredibly perceptive. She has a deep, true love for Ernest throughout the entirety of the book, despite his alcoholism, fighting and crazy antics. She loves him even when his wandering eye gets the best of them both. She lets him go and it is sad, so sad. But it’s also wonderful, in a way. I just fell in love with both these people and can’t wait to discover more.

U is for Undertow by Sue Grafton

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This book I plucked from the shelves of the “library” (i.e four rickety shelves of books) at our remote honeymoon resort in Lovina, Bali. I was desperate and there were probably 10 titles all together written in English.

I do lurve a good mystery every now and then, though. I have to admit I kept thinking of that episode of The Office where Phyllis tries to get Sue Grafton to be in Dunder Mifflin’s commercial and she comes back all distraught. teehee. This book was exactly what you’d expect from a hugely successful mystery writer. What I found to be most interesting is how she describes literally EVERYTHING happening. Pick up any Grafton and I’m sure you’ll notice this too.

Overall, it was enjoyable! A great, mindless read for the pool and on the plane.

Marie Antoinette, The Last Queen of France by Evelyne Lever

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Not sure if any of y’all remember, but a few years ago I went to Paris with my family and we spent a day at Versailles!! My Mom, sister and Dad were all pooped from touring the palace and didn’t have the energy to go out into the gardens and meadows by the Petit Trianon, so I went by m’self. It was honestly, the SINGLE most amazing thing I’ve ever done – and I think the reason why I loved it so much was that I was all alone, with only my thoughts. I even scampered off the designated “pathways” and frolicked (YES) in the meadows as I’m sure Marie Antoinette and her daughter, Maria Therese had done 300 years ago!

Tangent, sorry! Needless to say, I have ALWAYS been obsessed with Versailles, Louis, Marie Antoinette, macarons and petticoats. I decided to read this book no matter how boring it got, and yeah, it DID get boring. But I also learned SO much. Like how everyone at court was in the room when Marie Antoinette gave birth to her daughter, so that everyone knew she actually had it and it was hers. Like, WOW – how awful would that be?

Beautiful Ruins by Jess Walters

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Ok, SO. This book is simply amazing. I would recommend this one to anyone – any walk of life, age, sex, whatever, it is that good. Also, sidenote: the author lives in SPOKANE. Like, who knew that kind of talent could come out of Spokane, WA? Crazy. The plot is very tricky to explain but it reminds me a little of Love Actually. Where there’s a bunch of different little stories that all somehow weave together, although these stories stretch back some forty years, which gives them a depth you will have to read to believe.

And that’s it for me! What should I read next?? Let me know in the comments!

So Portland Right Now

Alright guys, it’s official.

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I’m a Portlandian.

DON’T FREAK.

I still love my high-fructose corn syrups, flicked eyeliner and of course the SEAHAWKS, but yes. I have inducted myself into this unofficial club where individuality is revered and dare I say, required. How do I know?

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I went CLIMBING. In an actual climbing gym, where folks roam around proudly sporting wedgies and peter pan shoes. A place where it’s cool to have a beard and talk about the new shipment of squash at the farmers market. I found myself smiling and nodding – “why yes! I do love vegan cupcakes and organic cotton tees!!” I fit in! I FIT IN.

Well, a little at least.

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I can wear what we ALL agree is the ugliest garment known to man-kind: a harness.

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And these shoes that make my legs look like tree trunks really athletic? Don’t mind if I do!

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Thank you climbing gym! Thank you bearded belaying expert!

Thank you, Portland.

August Favorites

Yes I am late to be posting my monthly faves. So sorry little bunnies!

Makeup

L’Oreal Voluminous Mascara

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I got the one in the gold tube a couple months ago and for the last month it has been performing like a dream. A few pumps on the ol’ curler and one or two coats makes for gorgeous, fluttery, full lashes. I have to make sure to really start at the base and wiggle my way up with this formula, but it is worth every effort.

Elf Long Lasting Lustrous Eyeshadow in Soiree

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These $3 pots of wonder are a new discovery for me after watching Melissa on YouTube. The product is bouncy and kind of a dense gel consistency. I apply it with my ring finger and smudge it out with other colors using a tapered crease brush. I found that it did not crease on me or move at all. I have pretty normal eyelids if that helps (not overly oily).

NYX Butter Gloss in Éclair

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I love ALL the NYX Butter Glosses and one of my faves has to be Éclair. It is a beautiful, pastel baby pink (signature color) and is perfect on it’s own or paired with a lipstick.

Hair

Oscar Blandi Dry Heat Protect Spray

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I got the in my Summer 2014 Allure Beauty Box and was unsure of how I’d like it. Well, I am here to report that I love it. I really do. I don’t know about you, but one of my pet peeves is when I spray on a big juicy dose of heat protectant on my hair and then it’s just, wet. Then I feel pressured to wait for it to dry before I clamp 450 degrees of straight heat on to it. With this product, there is no pressure and ZERO waiting time, because it’s like, dry. It is sheer genius, I tell you.

My New Blow dryer! The Conair Inifinti Pro Blow Dryer

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You guys. For seriously two years I was using THE WORLD’S MOST GHETTO blow dryer on the planet. I plucked it from the bottom clearance shelf at T.J Maxx and ended up paying the consequence until recently. I actually REGISTERED for this new Conair blow dryer at Target but alas, nobody chose this OR the lighted makeup mirror (SO rude). Since I purchased this over 3 weeks ago, my life is just, better. My hair dries faster and the color is beautiful. It is everything.

Random

Alex and Ani Bracelets

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I found these two at The Rack and happily forked over the $14.97 for each. Here we have one initial bangle in the letter “N” and one “Capricorn” bangle even though I don’t believe one iota of that horoscope stuff.

Minute Maid Drops

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Drinking water has never been super easy for me. I don’t get the people who are all, “water is so good!” Like, no. It’s not. Diet Coke is good. A lemon drop is good. Thankfully all the juice brands have come out with “water enhancement” products which help us water-haters cope. The ones by Minute Maid are pretty delish!

 That’s all for now! Happy September!!

Labor Day Fun

Happy September internet pals!

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Y’all ready to get yer PSL on!? Oh wait. Apparently those are bad for you now, nrrmind.

So. Last weekend was the big’n. Labor day. The holiday that marks the last day where one can acceptably wear white on one’s bottom half, or at least that’s MY interpretation. It’s a bit bourgeois, but hey. Thems the rules.

Bry and I planned on a camping trip in the eastern regions of our fair state, but a surprise interview popped up for yours truly on a SATURDAY (more on that later). Sunday morning we headed out early into iffy weather. I think Bryan could sense my hesitancy as he let me sing along to the ENTIRE Moulin Rouge, Legally Blonde and Sister Act 2 soundtracks on the way there.

We decided to try a brand-new campground in Cottonwood Canyon and it was just that – NEW. Beautifully situated in (you guessed it) Cottonwood Canyon, the area is gorgeous. The campground? A bit, er….desolate. No grass, no trees no campfires and plenty of wind. We immediately took off on a trail run because we are hard-core like that.

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I was wearin’ my trusty, hideous REI hiking pants which have tear-away bottoms so they can become shorts – which meant that I was the foxiest lady on the trails.

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You know, just being normal

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air guitar?

After our run, Bryan was dead-set on setting sail in our two-man tube RR for a bit of floating. After our last disaster floating adventure, I was a little skittish about jumping right back in. However, the river looked calm, shallow and yes – even a bit appealing, so I obliged. Things started out honky-dory – I had my juice box (aka wine-in-a-box) and the sun was starting to come out.

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About 15 minutes in, we spotted a couple of folks fly fishing in the distance. As we got closer, we both agreed that we should make portage (look at me and these official words!) around them and carry our floatie on the rocky river bed. We clumsily paddled our way over and somehow managed to make it safely ashore without slipping on the slimy river rocks. As we carried the raft around those GD fly fishers, I noticed something move quickly right next to my feet.

IT WAS A MOTHEREFFING SNAKE.

I shrieked, dropped the raft and ran up the embankment towards Bryan. Of course by my reaction, he had to think I was bitten by a cobra or scorpion or some other terrible creature. We switched sides carrying the floatie back into the water and I basically jumped in, arms and legs shaking furiously. Two or three sips of wine calmed my nerves but MY GOD. Bry assured me that he too, saw the sn- the one who will not be mentioned – and said it was tiny. I BEG TO DIFFER.

After my brush with death I did what anyone would do. Proceeded to assume there was a snake everywhere. In the raft, the cooler, my hair – you know. Once our float was over, it took us a good 20 minutes to find a trail leading us back to the camp site, but eventually we did.

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We were muddy, wet, a bit cold and super hungry upon returning to our car and my run-in with nature had really taken it’s toll. Bryan simply looked at me and said, “I think I know someone who would rather sleep in her own bed tonight.”

TEARS OF JOY, you guys. THIS is just one of the many reasons I love my husband.

He then packed up the entire shambangle while I sat licking my wounds in the passenger seat, inhaling a turkey sub and listening to The Producers with the heat blasting. We got the hell outta there as the wind realllly started to pick up and I couldn’t have been happier.

That night for dinner, we both had a serious jonesing for Mexican and decided to try out a random place we found on Google Maps, Mi Mole or something. We ordered a bunch of food, margs and sat down to guzzle liters of water. I ordered a kind of bean+rice+guac mixture which I just dipped chips into. Bry ordered seafood tacos. We later discussed that the use of “seafood” when referring to a type of taco can be a bit misleading, as seafood is a fairly broad term.

The tacos ended up being shrimp, and the toppings? There were carrots. Lots and lots of cooked, mushy carrots. Neither Bryan nor myself are the least bit opposed to this vegetable – sure, throw it in a slaw and serve it on a taco. But to cook down 1/2 a lb of the things and pile em high on a seafood taco? hmmm…

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Just a part of the aftermath

The carrots became a catalyst for a larger, deeper conversation over dinner that night. Sometimes we get so caught up in going going going – we forget to simply look at eachother as honestly as a person can and ask “How ya doin?” While Portland has been a fun adventure for us both, we are still trying to determine if it’s the city for us. If we fit in, if we WANT to fit in and if so, where that might be. It’s a little scary, but exciting too.

The next morning was pure perfection. Our planned breakfast for camping was bacon, egg and tomato sandwiches on ciabatta with pesto and oh lord were they good. After that, we did a little mini-golf and hit the sack early, what a great Labor Day weekend!

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Until next time, tootle-oo!

The Oregon Coast

There’s something about a trip to the ocean that makes me feel classy.

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For the majority of this summer, Bryan and I have sought out many a lake and river, heck – we’ve even splashed around in a few streams. But last weekend, when we randomly decided to check out the coastline of this new state we live in, it dawned on me: the ocean is a different story completely.

First of all, there’s the outfit: where old Wal Mart $7 string bikini tops and faded board shorts work for lakes and rivers, this attire certainly does not fly ocean-side. I found myself scrounging around in my bureau for anything reminiscent of Ralph Lauren.

Next there’s the culinary aspect. Our usual line-up of BLL’s, pb&j’s and Gushers just wouldn’t cut it. At the ocean, it’s all about cheese, crackers, wine and strawberries. Rich people food, you know.

I think you get the picture. CLEARLY, the ocean is where I belong. And while I would prefer The Hamptons or  Martha’s Vineyard, I suppose Cannon Beach will just have to do.

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ALS Ice Bucket Challenge

Happenings

A couple weekends ago, Bryan and I drove over to Seattle to visit friends and watch the Seahawks training camp with our pals the Lipes. Saturday night we had a scrumptious dinner with the Grims and celebrated their little girl’s 2nd birthday. Elmo cupcakes all around!

On Sunday we drove out to Everett and were bussed in (via schoolbus, SUCH a throwback) to the Seahawks training facility. We spread out our trusty Seahawks towel on the grass, devoured a pulled-pork sammie at 10 am, and watched m’boy Lynchie sag his shorts into man-pries. Them Hawks looked real sharp out there, doing football things and running around. It def got me excited for fall!

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Mel and Me!

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Hustle Like Russell

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When we got back to Portland that night, we discovered that “Bite of Portland” was going on right by our apartment, which took care of dinner plans! I have to say I was pretty disappointed in it overall. $5 to get in, with a smattering of food booths/trucks which were NOT cheap and scant $6 wine pours. We ended up having some good stuff but it was a bit spendy for walking around in goose poop. Spokane’s Pig Out in the Park beats Portland by a landslide.

Clearly over the tiny pours

Clearly over the tiny pours

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My dinner: hummus and pita

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Bry’s lamb gyro

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Street taco to share

Mid-week we also ventured into the out-of-doors for a mini adventure! We drove to Mt. Hood National Park and decided to do the 4 mile-ish Mirror Lake Loop and boy, was it purty!

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The next weekend we ventured east, to my ol’ stomping grounds of wonderful Spokane, Washington. One of my besties, Holly was turning 30 on Saturday so we decided to make a little weekend of it and stay at The Davenport Friday night. We arrived late and immediately had drinks in The Peacock Room and then headed over to Steelhead for dinner.

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As we walked to dinner down the all too familiar streets of my past, I felt strange pangs of nostalgia. These were the streets I traipsed along what felt like SO long ago – single, with chunky highlights wearing clearance tops from Hollister. Where I went on dates, met girlfriends for drinks and spent my piddley paychecks at River Park Square. Here I was now, 7 years the wiser with a hus-cat on my arm and budding wrinkles on my face. WEIRD.

We plopped down at Steelhead next to two gals in their early 20’s. Bedecked in 5-inch heels and picking at their salads with hopeful eyes and painted lips, they chatted nervously about this guy and that. Which bar they should “start at” and where they hoped to end up (of COURSE I was eavesdropping). I wanted to take these young women by the shoulders, look deeply into their kohl-rimmed eyes and tell them that none of it matters. To go out and have fun and be 23 and not worry about men, or looking as close to a hooker without actually being a hooker as possible. To NOT WORRY about playing “games” and just enjoy life. But alas, I dug into my pizza and fry combo with a smile on my face. An “I’m glad I figured out a little something” kind of a smile.

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Most comfortable bed EVER

The next day was Holly’s 30th and we celebrated out in Greenbluff where her fam owns some property. It was right out of a Dixie Chicks music video, sprawling orchards with apricots and peaches, laced with sunflowers and hummingbirds. And a’course like any country song, we had plenty of beer :). Holly’s dad roasted a pig and everyone brought sides and fixins (how great is the word fixins, btw?). We set up a huge tent to keep out of the sun and everyone set up their respective “campsites”. We drank strawberry lemonade-vodkas, had delicious birthday cake and obvs s’mores at the end of the night.

The highlight had to easily be the epic game of Chubby Bunny that Holly and Matt (her fiancé) played around the campfire. No joke, I have never laughed harder. Why is that game SO FUNNY!?

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The next day we all packed up and hit the road. I had three marshmallow remnants stuck in my hair, soooo YEAH.

Lastly! I am well on the way to changing my name, which is kindof a major b**** if you ask me. I understand that there are automated websites that do everything for you nowadays, but they also cost money. I waited at Social Security for nearly an hour the other day and today I plan to do the same at the DMV. Lets change this tradition to boys taking the girls’ last names, mmmkay?

Summer Lovin’ Tag

Had me a blast…

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Happened so fast!

See what I did there? And canijustsay, I DID NOT like ONJ in Grease. Sorry Liv, but your voice is nauseating and your baby hips in leather pants are just plain odd. Gotta love Beauty School Dropout though!

I was tagged by the wonderful Deb of DebE to do this awesome tag and am so happy to do so! Deb’s blog is just amazing – great reviews, beautiful photos and the cutest chi babies EVERRRRR!

Here we go!

1. Summer Lipstick You’re Loving?

Definitely Just Peachy by Wet’n’Wild – of the $1.99 varietal. It is gorgeous, summery and the perfect peach hue. Over top, I LOVE my Lancôme Gloss in Love in the shade Peach Show.

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2. Summer nail polish you’re loving?

I have been wearing Teeny Bikini by Victoria’s Secret TONS this summer. Such a perfect Barbie pink.

3. Bikini you’re loving this summer?

DEFINITELY this little number, by Target. The top has padding and it pushes those babies to the sky, and the bottoms are perfect, i.e – they actually cover my bottom.

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4. Favorite summer Frappuccino from Starbucks?

I have to admit I have wasted many a treat receipt this summer, but I DO enjoy the Caramel Crunch one.

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5. Favorite fake tan?

I am going to have to give this one to the Rodan + Fields Foaming Sunless Tan. I did a whole review of it here and it is just a wonderful product, developed by the same broads who brought us Proactiv!

6. Favorite summer song?

DUH! In the Summertime by Mungo Jerry!

7. Favorite summer accessory?

Can sunblock count!? If so, I have been loving two: the first is a stick sunblock by Neutrogena (in SPF 70!). It doesn’t budge and I feel like my face is actually protected since it stays put. The other is the Silk Hydration by Hawaiian Tropic, it feels so nice on the skin and really moisturizes, plus it has that wonderful Hawaiian Tropic smell :).

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8. Favorite summer fragrance?

Jo Malone English Pear & Freesia

9. Summer book you’re loving?

This one!

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10. What are you most excited to do this summer?

Welp – I got married which was a bit of a to-do. If you’d like to read more about that, check out the wedding tab above :).

Thanks again DebE for tagging me!

Currently Coveting

Materialism at it’s worst, guys. I KNOW. But just indulge me :)

The list below is compiled of things I have taken a hard liking to over the past couple of months. It’s a bit longer than normal because I haven’t bought anything lately due to lack of job, trips to Potbelly and a teensy dent I put in the Jeep. Oopsa’ daisies!

Mac Blushes!!

I went to the Mac on NW 23rd here in Portland and had a swatchfest. I had ‘em all up and down my arm like a lunatic and determined these shades MUST be mine.

Petal Power Mineralized Blush $27

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Check out the new Mac mineralized packaging! I saw Sam Schuerman talk about the beauty of this blush and HAD to see for myself. I am currently REALLY digging blushes that can basically double as highlights, much like my current favorite blush which is Luminoso by Milani. This shade is an absolutely gorgeous pink with goldy undertones. Mamma want.

Sunbasque Powder Blush $22

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Sunbasque is a color I have heard tons about and I finally experienced it’s radiant splendor. It is definitely more of a mauvy, bronzed color with that shimmer I have grown obsessed with.

Margin Powder Blush $22

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To me, margin might be the perfect summer blush of all time. It is rose gold (reminiscent of Benefit’s boxed blush in Rockateur) but MUCH more glowy. It has brownish peach undertones and would PERF with my skin tone right now or with a slammin self tan.

Springsheen Powder Blush $22

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Springsheen. Oh, springsheen. How lovely and coral and perfect and luminous you are. Do you guys see why I need all these blushes? They are all SO me and wonderfully life-changing.

 

Other Stuff

Benefit Push Up Liner $24

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I have never been a fan of gel liners. Back in the good ol’ days, I had Mac’s blacktrack and it completely dried out on me after like 8 months and I was PISSED. I have tried other drugstore brands since then and they’re okay but I always find myself migrating back to my liquids or pencils because it’s just too much work to lug out the pot AND the brush (not lazy at all, here). But then Benefit released this and my distaste for gel liner has been thoughtfully redacted. No need for a brush! No dried-up product! I need this in my life.

Josie Maran Whipped Argan Body Butter $48

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$48 body lotion necessitates a lengthy explanation, so allow me to deconstruct…

Alright gals. Body lotion 101 is in session. You all know I struggle with a couple of agonizing skin disorders. One being my keratosis pilaris otherwise known as chicken skin or those tiny bumps we sometimes get on the backs of our arms and legs. The other being my acute paleness. NOW. Ingredients such as glycerin and mineral oil upset the chicken skin, as the ingredients are not good for the root cause of these bumps – a hard build-up of keratin which plugs up the hair follicle.

Additionally, ingredients such as alcohol and mineral oil actually STRIP the color off of a self-tanned body. Which is NO BUENO.

So, in congruence with these obstacles – I have been on the hunt for skin lotions and butters devoid of these ingredients. And lemmetellya, there aren’t many. Organic or natural brands may not contain alcohol but then they mostly ALL have glycerin and mineral oil.

My discovery is this – Josie Maran body butter. It is free of alcohol, mineral oil and has only a small amount of “natural vegetable glycerin”.

PRAISE THE LORD allelujah! I will happily fork over this ungodly sum for a bit of skin relief – oh yes, I will.

Alex and Ani Bracelets $28 (approx.)

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Let me explain. I have always wanted a charm bracelet. However, I am just not a fan of the Pandora line or the tradition charm bracelets that get all bulky. These bangles from Alex and Ani I find to be quite cute as you can stack them up and wear a bunch at a time. They come in all different styles and metals and I want a million of them.

Maybelline Hip Eyeshadow Duo in Electrified $5

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Photo Cred

Kristin Gehm mentioned this duo on one of her recent videos and I need it. Unfortunately it is not available anywhere! If anyone finds this line of eyeshadows anywhere please let me know!

TIGI Bedhead Oh Bee Hive! Dry Shampoo $20

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My sister’s GF Shannon used this on me when she did my hair for our wedding and I am IN LOVE. It smells amazing and I found the result to be smooth and natural. I usually opt for drugstore dry shampoos but this might just make me a convert.

Benefit Maybe Baby Perfume $32

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This perfume is everything to me. It has the same scent as my beloved Bathina Oil Mist from Benefit. An ultra-feminine, sweet, floral scent that makes feel like the ballerina I wish I were.

And that’s it! What have YOU been coveting??

Summer Glamping

Hey pudding pops!

All I can say is thank God Bryan and I purchased THIS last summer:

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Since it’s first appearance last 4th of July, our two-man island of fun has srsly been our BFF. The three musketeers, we are. And when the hot Portland sun is pouring through the windows in our AC-less apartment all I wanna do is cannonballs all. day. long.

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A few weekends ago, Bryan and I packed up the Jeep and headed east for a little overnighter in the desert. After striking out at THREE different campsites, we finally nabbed one on the river at Peach Beach, which sounds like a cocktail.

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We sprang out of the car, inflated the RR (River Run), dumped a six-bomb of BLLs and a river drink for moi in the COOLER and set sail. I also applied m’trusty 70 SPF because my mamma didn’t raise no fool. We floated until lunch time and then I had the PB&J Bry so lovingly made for me with potato chips. We went through almost an entire gallon of water too. I always talk about our dranks, but we DO drink tons of H20 as well.

After the afternoon session we had covered all relevant topics; how we want to parent our offspring someday, which is truly the best of the 3 Ninjas series and obviously we played last meal.

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At Peach Beach no campfires were allowed (SONOFA) so our dinner was puuurty sad. We boiled water for hot dogs and then roasted mallows for s’mores over the tiny flame of the Jet Boil. It was a little pathetic but it worked.

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Then we watched about an hour of Wolf of Wall Street (told you it was glamping) in the tent and fell asleep. The next day we headed home to get some errands done but decided to head back the very next weekend. Can you tell we had fun?

The next weekend, we headed the same direction but decided to make it a day trip. And this time, we weren’t lazy bums. We ended up doing a 6 mile hike along the Deschutes River and I LOVVVVED it (yes it was totally flat). We hiked up a bit and then back to our car along the old railroad trail which was beautiful but long.

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We got back and immediately got RR in the water. A ranger explained to us that we were free to float along a stretch of the river all the way to the Columbia if we wanted. Things started out innocently enough until I suggested we paddle over and take a little tributary (that’s what I was calling it, but, LIKE I KNOW what a tributary is). As soon as we paddled over, poor RR was going through rapids, skidding over huge river rocks and Bryan and I were swirling around out of control. Things only got worse as we made our way down – it was so narrow, rocky and full of rapids that we were totally freaked. I was getting shoved into trees and foliage full of gross spider webs. I was screaming and being dramatic per usual.

Then Bryan was a prince. He got OUT of RR and pulled us back against the rapids. He was literally IN the water, pulling hard against the rocks and he basically ruined his swim trunks in the process. When we finally got back to the calm water, I made us do 25 tick checks and cleaned all the debris off RR. I had a few sips of wine from my wine cube and everything was all better. We ended up tying ourselves to a rock and spending the day lounging in the waist-deep water and catching some rays. Another eventful day out on the riv!

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Wrong way, genius

Also, what is more surprising: That football season starts in just WEEKS or that I actually care?

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